Following my breakup, I really wanted to make sure I was learning all the lessons I needed to learn to not only pick a better partner in the future but also be a better partner in the future. I started to realize that the majority of my part in our issues were around communication and understanding where I faltered not just in what I said, but the larger picture of my attachment wounds being activated. In an effort to learn how to manage my fears and maintaining bonding connection, I wanted to explore the best practices for resolving conflict with your partner with respect to their attachment style and gender. I also wanted to understand how to unlock vasopressin bonding to ensure communication wasn't just effective in resolving conflict but also deeply bonding in the long run. I wanted to use my communication errors as a template to figure out where and went wrong and how I could have improved. This episode highlights my key takeaways from my research and offers reframe to how I would have handled each situation differently now that I have the tools.

I've always struggling with this horrible, aching sense of emptiness. The only way I can really describe it is a black abyss that comes over me and fills me with a sense of dread. I know I've gone through how to feel all different feelings, but this emptiness was one I could never really feel the "cure" for. I found it purposeless and strange and no one else seemed to understand the feeling I was having. I was always told to just do xyz, but after years of traveling, relationships, amazing jobs, and endless highs of life, there was never anything that could fix it. In this episode, I recap a recent enlightening conversation with a friend where she explained to me the power in surrender and letting go of control - a kind of release that can only come from the knowledge that God truly has you. She explained to me that only once you really see your vulnerability as a blessing for God to step in, rather than seeing it as a source of powerless, dread, and allowing it to fuel your desire to control will I be truly free. I'd heard surrender and let God many times throughout my life, but for some reason this was the lock and key to make it hit different. Since this conversation happened, I've finally felt peace. I've finally felt space, and it's the only thing that's interrupted my hyper-fixation on my recent breakup. I finally feel ease, calm, peace, contentment, and I just wanted to bring that to you, too.

Breakups are hard. There's no way around that. You think this person is a dream and you're finally closer to finding your person only to find it crumbling beneath your feet. When there's no real closure, the person chooses to ghost and quickly replace you with someone you wonder if any of it was ever real. You feel shaken with distrust for yourself, all your trust issues resurface, and you wonder if you'll ever find true love. I'm in that same boat now. I thought I finally picked well after a long string of heartbreak, only to find he was just like the rest. It's taken some time and a whole lot of tears, but I finally created a way to move on. Instead of focusing on the heartbreak, I'm seeing all the ways this relationship was put in my life and to grow and change me into a person better equipped to recognize the real thing when it comes and how to show up best for it. Come with my on this journey of heartbreak, while I navigate moving on from it, setting new standards of engagement, and seeing it all as an opportunity to reconnect and become my higher self.