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In part 1 of a two-parter Simon and Lee start off (inevitably) with an apartment update, some elongated preamble, check in post US election, and voting in our own best interests (or not).

Things covered: Photoshop vs CAD models, learning 3D modelling, planning a kitchen (again), apartment update, Bob and Lee making a list of all the things they are going to do on their week off, camping in one's own place, podcast relationships, parasocial relationships, Colin and Johnny's podcast, Lee asks for feedback from listeners we don't know, US election aftermath, Simon's upcoming 4 year hiatus from all news, Lee's weekly team meetings (that happen every week), remembering Boris Johnson (and him dancing at a wedding), Simon tries to remember something (again), gently touched on erectile dysfunction, things we haven't talked about (not bowel movements for instance), Corbetron's rubbish joke about erectile dysfunction, Simon keeps trying to remember something, realising that Boris was very popular which was revealing about the UK, Hilary in 2016, Kamala being competent, middle-aged white men liking Trump, humans are just sophisticated bees.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon seeks some advice from Lee about keeping things in confidence, and then they talk about what our work colleagues really think of us.

Things covered: A messed up beginning riddled with technological issues and two different audio streams, Sennheiser headphones, Sony headphones, photoshopping floor plans (apartment update), Lee's Dad flipping houses, renovations from another country, Ian Dury and the Blockheads (Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick), the rhythm method, a drummer in the room as a form of contraception, a conversation in confidence, burning bridges with everybody, overestimating one's capacity to intervene productively, Simon's nickname Clunk, a hilarious way for Lee to be an arsehole, Jefrey (the dog) trying to eat a croissant from a 2 year old, Lee being an excellent Agony Uncle, Lee singing musical tunes, staff away days (that aren't away), saying things we like about colleagues, emerging themes about what Simon's colleagues think of them, Simon's capacity to organise, baked goods at work, cupboard love, lightness of touch at work, being funny at work, hypothetically what Lee's colleagues would say about him, people pleasing, 360 reviews.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon discuss the extent to which identities are tied to work, and some other stuff.

Things covered: International Champagne Day (25 October), talking in the third person, Prosecco, Cava, a biscuity Champage, Franciacorta, apartment update (offer accepted), relative cheapness vs eye watering amounts of money, waiting on tenterhooks, needing an Italian bank account, the apartment will be signed off by Christmas, Lee seeding house buying ideas, one's work identity (and it changing or even disappearing), a new perspective on work and on art making, which things to move to Italy, moving money around, the things we buy as investments, not paying rent anymore, Lee being a dastardly prick, Bob coming back from China with gifts, cultural generosity, chinese artist Rui Guo, Simon's virus, Lee's chest pain, wearing stress in the stomach or heart, removing saturated fats from one's diet, that gall bladder thing, egg-less pancake recipe, Hong Kong martial arts film called Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In (must watch apparently), drinking sangria in the park, Lou Reed.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon discuss what it is they are most proud of and the capacity to feel as if terrible events are gifts.

Things covered: Not having a kitchen, Wolf ovens, removing fitted carpets from a place, Simon being met by a friend at St Pancras, Lee being proud of still being married to Bob, the challenges of a life, having had a difficult week (tummy anxiety), the feeling of underperforming at work, men being less able to communicate feelings (or not), texting a Jungian analysis, the feeling of a big week when it isn't really that big, how small things accumulate over time, Lee watching and seeing the photographs that Bob is taking while she is away, a period of difficulty as a gift, revisiting (briefly) that moment when Simon and Lee covered Simon's reaction to their first miscarriage (see episode whatever way back when), the capacity to view a difficult thing as a gift, the rhythm of loss, adapting to change in time, coming back to worm carnage, closed captions: unsettling music playing, discordant noise, John Williams and Jaws, being full sensory beasts.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon seems to be on the verge of buying something big and Lee wades in.

Things covered: Catching up after being away and hearing each other's voices, Bob in China, high speed trains to Hong Kong, American and British voices in HK, being a foreigner vs being a tourist, not a lot of love for Keanu Reeves in our listenership, Timothy Chalamet, Tom Holland, being told when we jumped the shark, buying an apartment, an expensive computer, the non-negotiables, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, junkets, not having the vocabulary (regardless of the language), marble flooring, the process of buying an apartment in another country, UK property law, flying freehold, numbers in another language, co-dreaming, checking out bidets in a shop, bum hose pipes in Portugal, Bob's match has been met by Igor, Lil's capacity to image space, geometra (surveyor), first time buyer, the chain in the UK housing market, Lee's house buying history.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon and Lee call Finn to find out who he likes. Things really go off the rails, and then Lee gets back to his favourite subject: jettisoning friends.

Things covered: Lee jettisoning friends (again), update and feedback from newphew Finn re Keanu Reeves, trying to add someone to a FaceTime call, live update from Finn: Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal, Normal People, Ordinary People, Gladiator 2, Andrew Whats-his-chops (hot priest in Fleabag), All of Us Strangers, Cillian Murphy (Bomby-man), Murphy's face needing a wash, Lee being the universal taste-maker, Oppenheimer, Christopher Nolan, the longest running podcast ever, jumping the shark (again), that Lee dumping friends is not a true story, being gay for pay, Lee listening to a 'blue' podcast (on suggestion from a friend), Tim Walz and tonic masculinity, studying micro-expressions online (during a Tim Walz speech), responding and not-responding to messages (including acknowledging birthdays), iPads being the pinnicle of technology, Lee wearing a HUD to read out a presentation (and not looking ridiculous in the glasses).

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon and Lee get silly celebrating their 200th episode, and they discuss a translation of a speech by Donald Trump.

Things covered: The arbitrary nature of 200 episodes, Lee's soporific tone, falling asleep during meetings, haribot in a mini, just how easy the marshmallow test is (for Simon), Simon's TeeVee snacks adventure (from another episode), brain messages, weeing at the pub, falling ewoks, Return of the Jedi (and ewoks), seeing Star Wars for the first time, force fields, breaking the seal at the pub, waking up people dozing off while listening to Midlifing, their disinterest in their listeners, Lil Boyce and translating things, stuffing up prepositions, Donald Trump speech in Italian, Lee being more special than Simon, making decisions about translating, being seduced by ideas, following (or not) the politics in the USA, the things we can influence, the lesser of two evils, conservatives being happier than progressives, Lee lighting and burning incense, Aesop's incense.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Simon and Lee work through earthquakes, what Lee sleeps in, ghost outfits and life after death.

Things they discuss: The dancing scene in Call Me By Your Name, dancing at a wedding, swimming in the early morning, Lee survives an Earthquake in Lisbon (while naked), Bob doesn't even wake up for it, Georges Perec's "Life A User's Manual", the 2011 Christchurch earthquake, the Shaky Isles, 1755 Lisbon earthquake, ghost outfits, the expansive sky where Lee's parents live, Bob and Lee watching for shooting stars, Lee not believing in God, different kinds of tears, the word awe (and contrasting emotions), being as far away from TikTok as you can get, small and not mattering, the smallness of differences in conflict, we humans are all the same, engineering hatred, genetic commonalities with bananas, being made of stardust, there being nothing after death, how long the brain continues to function after death, organ harvesting, being aware, ecstatic dancing, craft beers in Lisbon, free beer, needing to be more dog as a philosophy for life, self-consciousness and dancing like nobody is watching, flow, the Task Positive Network, why human beings like to travel, projecting into a building for retirement.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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