How do we guide our older teens as they transition into adulthood? What is our job as parents? What role do we play in the lives of our teens?

Parenting coach and parenting workshop facilitator, Miriam Leibowtiz, answers these questions as she guides us in our parenting journey.

The job of a parent is to help our children develop into the person that he or she was created to be, even if who they are is different from the way we would have wanted them to be. As children grow into teenagers and young adults, parents shift from the role of caretaker to the role of guide. When parents treat their teens with warmth, give them unconditional love, and set boundaries for them, without imposing their will on their child, they are giving that child the space to figure out who they really are. Often, when we try to impose our will on our teens, they will have a counter will to resist what we tell them to do. We need to actively listen to them, allow them to express their feelings, validate their feels, and accept them for who they are--even if they are different from us.

As parents, we need to mourn and let go of the preconceived notions we had that our children were going to be a certain way. We need to feel our pain, and then to let go of it. We also need to have compassion on ourselves for the pain that we have gone through in our childhood. When we have empathy for ourselves, we will be able to be open to how our teens are feeling, and have empathy for them. This will help us have a soft heart and relate to our teens with love, which will foster connection.

Miriam explains the above concepts in beautiful detail.

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