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Drawing the line between grief and mourning changes everything about how we navigate loss. Grief—the natural, uncontrollable emotional response—floods us with sadness, anger, anxiety, and even manifests as physical pain migrating through the body. Mourning, however, encompasses the actions we take: attending funerals, sharing memories, and creating space to express our pain.

When we covenant to "mourn with those that mourn," we're not promising to feel another's grief—an impossible task that belongs solely to the Savior. Instead, we commit to witness their pain without judgment or comparison. The greatest gift we can offer is our presence and the simple question, "Tell me about the person you lost," acknowledging that the bereaved are always aware of their loss—"a big man-sized hole" in every moment of daily life.

The journey through grief requires meeting eight fundamental needs: acknowledging the death, telling your story repeatedly, facing rather than avoiding the pain, remembering the deceased, developing a new identity, searching for meaning, building ongoing support systems, and being encouraged to mourn long after others have moved on. For those walking this path, seemingly strange comforts emerge—like my cemetery "stakeouts" with takeout food, creating a socially acceptable space to express grief that might seem inappropriate elsewhere. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, understanding these distinctions creates space for authentic healing and connection on this difficult journey we never walk alone.

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If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.

Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.

If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.

"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.

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When tragedy strikes, our understanding of God's protection undergoes a profound metamorphosis. Just as a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, grief can change us into something entirely new—if we allow it. Today, Mama Bear Wendy explores what it means to live up to our spiritual privileges during times of profound loss.

The death of a spouse creates a defining moment that challenges our most fundamental beliefs. After losing her husband, Wendy's prayers transformed from what she calls a "shopping list" of requests to something deeper: prayers seeking alignment with God's will. This shift represents a spiritual awakening that often accompanies deep grief, where we stop bargaining with the universe and start seeking understanding.

Drawing inspiration from Emma Smith's remarkable self-written blessing, Wendy examines how this valiant woman—who experienced multiple child losses and persecution—didn't ask for protection from suffering when given the chance to write her own blessing. Instead, Emma sought wisdom, self-knowledge, and discernment. This historical example beautifully illustrates how living up to our spiritual privileges isn't about escaping hardship but developing the spiritual gifts to navigate it with grace.

For widows especially, unique spiritual opportunities exist. There's a special connection through the veil that allows continued relationship with departed spouses who "have not abandoned their sacred callings" to family. By recognizing and actively engaging with these privileges—through temple service, patriarchal blessing study, and consistent spiritual practices even in difficult circumstances—we can experience profound support and healing. Join Mama Bear Wendy as she offers hope and practical wisdom for those walking the challenging path of grief.

Support the show

If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.

Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.

If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.

"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.

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We all want to say the perfect words to comfort someone who's grieving, but what if the most powerful gift isn't words at all?

After my husband died unexpectedly, I discovered that true comfort often came from the most unexpected places. There were neighbors who showed up with "grief groceries" – practical items like paper plates and toilet paper when I couldn't think clearly enough to shop. There was the friend who texted daily for months without expecting responses. And there was the beautiful moment when someone shared Isaiah 54:5 with me: "For thy maker is thine husband, the Lord of hosts is his name."

Through these experiences and many others, I learned a profound truth about mourning with those that mourn: presence matters more than perfection. Like the rabbit in the children's book "The Rabbit Listened," sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone in grief is to simply be there – not to fix their pain or tell them how to feel, but to witness their journey without judgment or comparison.

In this episode, I share what helped me most as a widow, what didn't help (like being asked "Are you over it yet?"), and how we can all become better companions to those walking through loss. Whether you're grieving yourself or supporting someone who is, these practical insights will help you understand that healing doesn't come from perfect words but from genuine connection that helps the grieving not feel so alone.

Join me, Mama Bear Wendy, as we explore how to truly walk alongside each other in grief. Share this episode with someone who might need these insights, and visit mamabearwendy.com to learn about my upcoming grief support groups and companion sessions.

Support the show

If you would like more grief support please see my website at Mamabearwendy.com for upcoming grief groups and 1:1 opportunities.

Although your experience and path will be unique, there is hope ahead in this path and you are not alone. I can see your pain and we will walk this road together. Here is a big bear hug from Mama Bear Wendy, your fierce support in the journey of grief, until next time.

If you enjoy this podcast please consider donating to help us keep going.

"Wendy has a beautiful way of sitting in the deep end of the ocean with you. Her presence alone is healing. She meets you where you’re at and doesn’t push you any further than where you want to go. She gently nudges you into new places with new perspectives. She is highly intuitive, sensitive and compassionate. She brings a depth to the table you rarely see. Her experiences have given her an extraordinary level of understanding and a safe place to walk to as she is a safe harbor fill of strength and integrity. She is raw and real and beautifully vulnerable and she is exceptional at conveying the words that are hard to find. She is a rare one." Christi D.