Parent Judgment Podcast

0:00 MUSIC

0:07 ANNMARIE MCMAHILL:

Hello, I'm Annmarie McMahill and this is a Tools for Your Child’s Success podcast.

I'm sure you've heard it too, the judgment that parents these days aren't doing a good job, that parents are out of touch or too soft, that they give in to their kids too easily, they're over involved helicopter parents or under involved don't care parents. Maybe you heard some unsolicited advice on your parenting choices, your birthing choice, your feeding practice or your sleep routines.

In this podcast, we'll be talking about parent judgment.

BARB HOPKIN:

I really feel that this is such an important topic for community and for parents to support each other and understand each other on our unique path is so critical to avoiding judgment. And you know, parenting is not easy, and there's definitely not a right way to handle challenges or even to celebrate successes. So knowing that we have the ability to confidently navigate judgment from others, while still being very mindful of differences in parenting so as not to pass judgment will not only help us grow as parents and do the best for our children, but also create that supportive parenting community that can be so healthy for parents and their children.

ANNMARIE MCMAHILL:

Parent judgment can manifest in different ways including overt criticism, unsolicited advice, subtle disapproval, gossip, or even silent disapproving glances.

Parent judgment can have a significant impact on the well-being and confidence of parents who experience it. It can lead to feelings of self-doubt, guilt, shame or frustration. And it can also create a sense of isolation and make parents hesitate to seek support or share their challenges for fear of being judged.

BARB HOPKIN:

We all have the power to define our worth as a parent. So really focusing on what's most important, our child's happiness, trusting our instincts, and having that supportive network or reaching out for professional help when needed.

ANNMARIE MCMAHILL:

I'd like to introduce our guests for today's podcast, Barbara Hopkin. Barb earned her master's degree in counseling from the University of Wyoming. She's worked with children and families as a community mental health counselor and as a school counselor. More recently, she's played a critical role developing the tools and resources that are found on ToolsforYourChildsSuccess.org. So welcome, Barb.

BARB HOPKIN:

Thank you, Annmarie. I'm so excited to be here. Parent judgment is such an important topic for parents who feel judged as well as parents who find themselves judging. As parents, we always tend to be our own harshest critic, so knowing how to deal with judgment is really important to growing our confidence. And oftentimes, the times when judgment comes up, parents need support more than ever.

ANNMARIE MCMAHILL:

So parents judge each other in a lot of situations and on a range of parenting choices and behaviors. Let's just talk about some of those situations where parents tend to judge each other.

BARB HOPKIN:

There are quite a few situations where judgment comes up, ranging from parenting styles when it comes to different disciplinary approaches, attachment parenting, free range parenting, authoritative parenting versus permissive parenting. A lot of judgment can come up when it comes to feeding and nutrition, breastfeeding versus formula feeding, when to introduce solid foods and then dietary choices as kids grow. Screen time and technology use can definitely be a topic that brings judgment, varying limits on screen time, what's age appropriate content wise, electronic device use it can all have very different approaches from different parents, which leads to judgment. When it comes to education, the choice between home school and public school, private...