Are you unknowingly sending your teen the message that their best isn’t good enough?

In this episode, we dig into a concept called "pointing positive," a term from river kayaking that can make a big difference in parenting teens through tough times. When we guide our kids toward what they want to achieve, instead of focusing on what they need to fix, we can help them feel more motivated and confident in their journey.

Think about it: if your teen has worked hard to bring their grades up from D’s and F’s to consistent C’s, it’s tempting to ask, “Why aren’t you getting B’s or A’s?” But focusing on what’s still lacking can undermine their progress, even when we mean well. By “pointing positive” and acknowledging their small steps forward, we show them that we see and value their growth, making it easier for them to keep pushing forward.

“If you are honoring the change that has been made, that encourages more change” - Beth Hillman

Seth and I discuss how, as parents, our attention impacts our kids’ motivation. It’s about shifting focus to what’s working, not ignoring reality, but being more mindful. When we highlight the positive changes, no matter how small, we’re reinforcing their resilience and progress.

And remember, change takes time and practice, for both us parents and our struggling teens. Here’s to guiding them forward, one positive step at a time.

In this episode on influencing your teen toward positive change, we discuss:

• Why focusing on the positive is more effective than focusing on the negative;
• How “pointing positive” can guide teens toward what they want to achieve;
• How our attention as parents influences our teen’s motivation to change;
• Simple shifts in word choice to emphasize progress and reinforce growth;
• Why sustainable change often happens in smaller, gradual steps over time;
• And more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Want to share something? You can always send me a message by clicking here. I'd love to hear from you! (Please know that this function doesn't allow me to respond to you so if you have a question, send me an email at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com)

Ever found yourself reacting strongly to something, even when it seems like “no big deal”? Or maybe, in a tense moment, you freeze or shut down instead of reacting?

If you’re a parent of a struggling teen, be it addiction, mental health struggles, suicidal ideation or a different struggle, you’ve probably felt your own heart skip a beat more times than you can count.

Today, I talk with trauma therapist Sarah Allen about why we sometimes overreact (or shut down) in response to certain triggers and how it all comes down to our bodies trying to protect us.

Sarah breaks down the idea that trauma doesn’t just live in the mind - it lives in the body. Even when our heads know “things are okay,” our nervous systems might still be on high alert, especially if we’ve been through overwhelming experiences with our kids in the past. It’s that part of us that steps in to make sure we don’t go through that kind of pain again. But sometimes, this automatic response can show up as a jolt of panic, a wave of anger, or even a complete shutdown.

As parents, we’re human too. And with the right tools and support, we can navigate our own responses, even when this journey with our kids takes us through some incredibly challenging terrain.

In this episode on understanding trauma responses in parents of struggling teens, we explore:

• Why our bodies sometimes react before our minds even have a chance;
• How trauma can make it hard to know what’s truly safe or dangerous;
• What over- and under-responses look like as a parent of a struggling teen in treatment or recovery;
• How to bring self-compassion to the way we show up, even if it’s not perfect;
• Different therapeutic approaches, including tips for finding the right fit for you or your family;
• And much more!

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Want to share something? You can always send me a message by clicking here. I'd love to hear from you! (Please know that this function doesn't allow me to respond to you so if you have a question, send me an email at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com)

Fear has a sneaky way of impacting our brains, pushing us toward avoiding what feels uncomfortable instead of working through it. For many of us, fear makes us want to avoid the situation, but doing that keeps us from working through what needs to be done.

It’s important to understand that fear is an emotion that comes and goes, just like other emotions. But what does fear bring up in us as parents, and in our struggling teens? Thinking back to the time before our son went to wilderness, I remember thinking ‘There’s nothing to be done. We’ve lost him.’ My brain was giving up on him out of fear.

“I think fear basically stalls people out” - Beth Hillman

So how can you face fear? How can you bring it with you, allowing it to take place in the passenger’s seat instead of taking over the wheel? We’re talking all about it in today’s episode.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What fear does to us as parents and how to recognize its impact;
• The kinds of fear our teens might experience, especially coming out of treatment;
• What helps parents and teens work through their fears?;
• Practical strategies for parents to manage their own fears while supporting their teens;
• How understanding love languages can help us better understand our struggling teens;
• And much more

Need support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.


You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Want to share something? You can always send me a message by clicking here. I'd love to hear from you! (Please know that this function doesn't allow me to respond to you so if you have a question, send me an email at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com)