Pillow Talks Podcast By Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE cover art

Pillow Talks

Pillow Talks

By: Vanessa & Xander Marin | QCODE
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About this listen

 Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!2024 Hygiene & Healthy Living
Episodes
  • EPISODE 208: Stuck In A Relationship Rut? Here’s Your 4-Week Fix

    EPISODE 208: Stuck In A Relationship Rut? Here’s Your 4-Week Fix
    May 15 2025
    In this episode, we’re giving you a realistic, 4-week plan to help you and your partner get out of that relationship rut — even if you're super busy, overwhelmed, or feeling disconnected. No grand gestures. No impossible checklists. Just simple, thoughtful actions you can start this week to feel closer again — emotionally and physically. Here’s what we’re covering: The difference between a rut and a red flag 🚩 How we define “realistic” connection (especially if you’ve got zero bandwidth) A step-by-step, week-by-week game plan you can follow Specific daily, midweek, and weekend actions to help you reconnect Why it’s okay to not feel fireworks right away — and what to focus on instead A challenge to get started right now 👀 Whether you’ve been together 2 years or 20, this plan can help you feel like a team again — without adding more stress to your plate. LINKS & RESOURCES 📝 4-Week Relationship Reset PDF — Your Companion Workbook for EPISODE 208: Stuck In A Relationship Rut? Here’s Your 4-Week Fix ➡︎ https://free.vmtherapy.com/4-week-reset 👋 The Art of Initiation — your guide to making initiation feel easier, sexier, and more satisfying ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/art-of-initiation?ref=podcast-208&utm_term=-podcast-208 💖 Deeper Membership — full access to our relationship toolkit, core courses, live monthly sessions, and more ➡︎ https://vmtherapy.com/deeper ✅ Turn Me On: Your Initiation Style Guide — a free guide to discover your unique initiation style (and how to use it!) ➡︎ https://free.vmtherapy.com/initiation-style-guide STAY CONNECTED 📸 Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns 👉🏻 Sign up here! 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ========================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================= 👏 Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair, and skin with Blissy. Get an additional 30% off ➡︎ https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD. 👏 Thanks ZocDoc. Download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. ➡︎ https://zocdoc.com/pillow 👏Thank you goPure. For a limited time, get 25% off. ➡︎ https://www.gopurebeauty.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of premium, wild-caught seafood. ➡︎ https://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • EPISODE 207 The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong

    EPISODE 207 The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong
    May 8 2025
    Ready for our go-to masterclass on one of the most overlooked (but absolutely essential) parts of intimacy? We’re bringing back one of our most downloaded episodes of all time — and trust us, it’s worth a re-listen (or a first-time bender if you’re new around here). Foreplay — the most misunderstood, rushed-through, and skipped-over part of sex. But here’s the truth: foreplay isn’t optional. It’s not just a warm-up. It’s the whole damn vibe. In this episode, we’re breaking down the 5 biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to foreplay — and how to turn things around so it actually feels good (for both of you). Here’s what we’re diving into: Why “just get to the point” is killing the vibe What makes receiving foreplay so hard (especially for women — hi, it’s not your fault) The most common foreplay ruts we all fall into How to make foreplay fun again — not forced, awkward, or performative A mindset shift that will change how you think about sex forever Whether you’re feeling stuck, unsure what your partner wants, or just ready for a heck of a lot more pleasure… this episode is your permission slip. Links & Resources: 🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides?ref=podcast-207&utm_term=podcast-207 Stay Connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns 👉🏻 Sign up here! 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Alloy. Get $20 off your first order today. ➡︎ https://myalloy.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 8 mins
  • EPISODE 206: Butt Stuff 101: Everything You’re Too Afraid To Ask

    EPISODE 206: Butt Stuff 101: Everything You’re Too Afraid To Ask
    May 1 2025
    We’re bringing back a fan favorite this week… and yep, we’re going there. Butt stuff. 🍑 Back in 2021, we dropped an episode all about backdoor play, and it quickly became one of our most popular episodes of all time. With over 200 Pillow Talks episodes under our belts now, we figured it was time to make it a little easier to find the gems — so for the first time ever, we’re re-airing one of our top episodes. Whether you’re a little butt-curious or already a full-blown booty enthusiast, there’s something in this one for you. Because here’s the deal: 👉 72% of our Instagram fam said they were intimidated by anal play. 👉 But 67% also said they were curious about trying it. That means even if you’re nervous… you’re still open. And we love that. In this episode, we cover: Why butt stuff might be worth a try (even if you’re scared) The biggest myths and misconceptions (hint: it’s not just anal sex) How to keep things safe, hygienic, and pain-free Why more straight men are embracing the backdoor (and loving it) Your most vulnerable Qs — from hairy buttholes to hemorrhoids to the “what if vaginal sex doesn’t feel like enough after?” convo Oh — and if you’ve listened before? It’s still worth a re-listen. You might hear something new, have a totally different take four years later, or finally feel ready to give it a try. 😉 Last call for two spicy fan favorites 🔥 We just launched our brand-new membership, **Deeper** — which gives you instant access to all of our core courses, monthly double dates with us, VanessaAI, and more. With that, we’re officially retiring a few of our a la carte guides—including two of our best sellers: 👉 Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER) 👉 Dirty Talk 101 (only available inside of DEEPER) 🍑 What's so great about butt stuff? (Our FREE Guide) Stay Connected 💌 Get our best tips, stories, and sex & relationship advice: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🛋️ Come hang with us on Instagram 🎧 Subscribe & review — New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    1 hr and 1 min
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Thank you guys! I love how easy they make it to understand, how fun and the easy tips they give! Can’t wait to keep listening to the podcast

Amazing !

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Vanessa and Xander are the best! I was skeptical at first, I'll admit. Their Instagram content first drew me in and I started watching their stories daily, then the podcast next! Even when the topic seems unrelatable I ALWAYS find something to take away from it!

Once I was hooked I bought the sex position playbook for my husband for our anniversary and I could just cry! My entire life I thought intercourse just wasn't for me (15 years!) and I was SO wrong. The playbook gave us the easiest tips to use to make intercourse 🔥🔥! On our 7th wedding anniversary we 🎆🎆 simultaneously for the first time ever and me during intercourse for the first time ever! I always thought something was wrong with me, until I found these two! I can't even put into words how grateful I am (my husband too!)

If you are on the fence, dive right on in and don't look back! These two are the real deal!

No words, changed my life!

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They are relatable and give practical and fun advice that helps me to view my relationship and my partner of over 30 years in new ways. Thank you!

My favorite podcast out there

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I love these 2. Listening to their different perspectives has helped me see a way to better communicate with my spouse in and out of the bedroom. My spouse started listening to the podcast after I recommended a few certain topics, he is also hooked. We both just finished the book and want to go back through the parts that stood out the most, like the yes, no, maybe list. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

great content, fun listen

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Vanessa and Xander are delightfully forthright and charming about sex and relationships. Worth listening to!

My new favorite!

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All couples can get something from Vanessa & Xander. They are so very easy to listen to & very relatable. I’ve been in my current relationship for almost 25 years & my husband & I are both listening to this. Actually he is very proactive & found this for us. While we have a good relationship we have both learned a lot & this podcast has really helped us be more open with conversations and the conversations led to an improved relationship overall not just in the bedroom. We all know how important our sex lives are in relationships, but they can become just kinda blah as the years go by. The conversations these podcasts helped us have definitely helped the relationship as a whole. I would suggest listening to this even if you think things are going perfectly fine. I think everyone will walk away thinking more about if that is actually true and even if it is true & things are going great. Things can always be better. Give them a listen. You won’t regret it especially if you’re wanting your relationship to last forever & like the idea of getting back to the honeymoon phase. Good Luck!!

Great Stuff

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Real life issues in relationship, sometimes things no one wants to talk about. And also ways to spice up you love life.

Awesome!?

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