this week I am grappling with ants in my pillows, getting rage baited by my landlord and the idea that the stories you tell yourself about your past form your ‘life story’, therefore your perception of yourself and therefore the behaviour of your future self. and what if we can re write the past and nothing is concrete and we can change things we have previously accepted as true about ourselves by a shift in perspective? like what if our past is up for grabs? filmed at a very stupid hour, I once again missed half the points I wanted to make so maybe ill do a part two on this subject but until then …

Story Of My Life: How Narrative Creates Personality - The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/08/life-stories-narrative-psychology-redemption-mental-health/400796/

I threw up for the first time since developing emetophobia over ten years ago

light trigger warning for people who are very sensitive - nothing gross is mentioned, verbiage only what’s in title and description, and I mostly discuss the emotional impact and how I processed the experience

additionally, I filmed this episode in my birthday and dove into why I fear aging so much while also being so young and how I turned my mindset into a more positive one so I could stop crashing out and enjoy the best day of the year

talking about how i got started on youtube and how weird of a time that was and how i found my team. and then about the ego and how I recently discovered that isn’t just a bad word to use for people with an inflated sense of self but actually an important and useful part of us all

back in my habitat.

I hate this episode because I missed almost every point I wanted to make about political amnesia / why having a clearer understanding of history creates a road map to facilitate the unity needed for social change which is so dumb of me (need to stop recording at midnight) so maybe I’ll revisit this one when I have read more books and make more sense lol

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/mere-royaume

why do we let men put their pleasure first

learning to have empathy for myself allowed me to love people properly

I thought I’d have good points this week on why it’s good to have community and stuff but I just ended up freaking myself out

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/open-questions/does-anyone-really-know-you