Questions for DOJ – 3.2 Podcast By cover art

Questions for DOJ – 3.2

Questions for DOJ – 3.2

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 Auto-generated transcript: As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. So, let's be clear to that person and to you. That what is happening is wrong. What is happening, should not be happening. The best way to do that, is just silence. People are sensitive, and they will understand. If you are silent about something, and then something much be wrong. So, silence. Don't imply that what they're doing is correct. Silence can be just silence, and not such devote in silence. Nobody. You are silent. as in not speaking, silence can also be of walking away from that gathering or, you know, whatever is happening. For example, if you are in a, say you go on to a, say a wedding celebration and suddenly you find people are coming there with music and dancing, get up and walk away. Just leave. Maybe even without taking leave of the host. And if the host notices and asks you, then you tell him at that time. And say it in a nice way. Say, I'm extremely sorry, I can't remain in a place where Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is being disobeyed. So I left. Don't say you are a haram khor anyway. Committing haram and you call people and you do this. No, no, don't, don't accuse. Don't accuse, don't blame. This is very important. If you want feedback, adverse feedback to be accepted, put yourself in the place of the receiver and ask yourself, how would I like to receive this feedback? Because this feedback is for my good. And if, if somebody is saying it in a way which is so repulsive, then how do I accept this? How do I accept this feedback? So say it in a way which is, which is humble. Say it in a way where the other person sees the value in it. And the person is not offended. It's not just about semantics. It's because, for example, let me give you a physical, he won't do it, but I'm saying as an example. Supposing before you'd say anything to that person, you slap them hard on the face. And now you're giving them advice. Do you think they will listen to that? Because they are so, they are now so close to you. They are caught up in the fact that they got slapped in the face, the pain of it, the humiliation of it, the disgrace of it, the insult of it, that no matter what you say, no matter how valuable, how wonderful it might be, what you say will absolutely be ignored because the person is simply not capable of dealing with what you did before you spoke. Now, I know you will not physically slap anybody, but it amounts to the way sometimes we correct people. It amounts to that. It amounts to slapping them hard. It amounts to slapping them hard. It amounts to slapping them hard in the face. So don't do that because that has the sin effect of making them immune or shutting them down for whatever good you might be saying. So say it politely, say it nicely, say it with a sense of compassion, you know, and put it to them in such a way that, you know, why would somebody like you do this thing? It's not becoming of you. It's not worthy of you. It's not worthy of you. Allah has made us noble. Allah has given us this wealth of character, which is more important than wealth of money. Why must we destroy that? Why are we squandering that? You know, that kind of thing which shows that you are somebody who is concerned about the other person. You're not just concerned about proving your point. You're not just saying it in a way that you think it's wrong. You're not just saying it in a way that you think it's wrong. You're saying it in a way which is, which the other person finds, you know, compelled to listen to and accept. Adverse feedback especially should be always given with, as I mentioned before, thinking, putting yourself in the position of the receiver. And ask yourself, how would I like to receive this if I were in that position? And say it like that. You know, inshallah, it becomes more acceptable. So it's very important to share knowledge. As I said yesterday, ensure that the knowledge you have is worth sharing. Make sure it's accurate.
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