PREVIEW:

It's a challenging  time to be a kid and a challenging time to be a parent, and it's even more challenging to parent a child when there is conflict and discord in the parenting relationship. 

In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Senior Clinical Therapist Kirsten Bolt, MED, LMFT helps us understand the effects of parent conflict on kids, provides tangible tips for families navigating co-parenting, and outlines what Open Sky can do to help both parents and children communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.

GUEST PROFILE:

KIRSTEN BOLT, MED, LMFT

Kirsten Bolt  is a Senior Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Passionate about working with adolescent girls, Kirsten emphasizes emotional regulation, assertive communication, identity development, vulnerability, and healthy relationships in her treatment approach. She incorporates humor and playfulness into all she does and quickly develops strong therapeutic relationships with her students and families.

As a family therapist, Kirsten is skilled in clarifying complicated systemic issues and helping formulate a concrete diagnostic assessment. She is supportive of parents who might need extra coaching due to anxiety, grief, and other personal struggles. With her firm and direct approach, Kirsten confronts presenting issues and holds students and families accountable to their therapeutic work, while circumventing the shame that can interfere with progress.

TOPICS COVERED: Conflict, Co-Parenting, Discord In Relationship, Divorce Parenting, Parenting

00:00 Intro

02:09 Challenges faced by parents experiencing discord with a child in treatment

05:03 Healthy conflict

07:10 The effects of parent conflict on kids

11:10 What can parents work on to support themselves and their child?

14:40 The impacts of progress on a child in treatment

17:00 When the other parent is not yet ready

20:04 Other tips for parents

SELECT QUOTES:

“It's a hard time to be a kid, and it's a hard time to be a parent, and it's even harder to be parenting a child when there's conflict and discord in the parenting relationship.”

“And it's normal to have conflict in a relationship. Relationships need conflict to break through topics that are challenging.”

“My experience is we're all doing our best at any given time, and we get flooded and we have hurts and we have pains in the past, and it sometimes trumps our ability to be the best versions of ourselves. When the stress increases, our ability to be our best selves decreases…and what so often happens is the kids feel that stress.”

“There is absolutely truth in trying to focus on your child and trying to remember that your child is half you and half their other parent. And when we talk negatively about the other parent, kids inherently hear that as talking negatively about themselves.”

“It’s going to help you be the best parent that you can, which most of us want to be.”

“Seeing the healing that can come from strengthening those bonds where they had been so broken is just truly remarkable and inspiring.” 

PREVIEW:

The world is becoming more open when it comes to inclusivity surrounding gender and sexuality. At the same time, many young people in the LGBTQ+ community are still struggling with mental health issues; higher rates of suicide; and lack of acceptance among family, friends, and society. In this episode the SKYlights Podcast, Mariah Loftin, MA, LPC, Clinical Director and Senior Clinical Therapist, discusses why this issue is at the forefront of our minds, some sobering statistics that highlight the importance of providing support for LGBTQ+ individuals, challenges for family and friends, as well as how to create safe spaces for th LGBTQ+ community.  

GUEST PROFILE:

MARIAH LOFTIN, MA, LPC

Mariah Loftin, MA, LPC, Clinical Director and Senior Clinical Therapist, joined Open Sky in 2012 and has been an integral member of the clinical team ever since. As Clinical Director, Mariah leads Open Sky’s treatment team in delivering a transformative therapeutic experience for students and families. She is attuned to the evolving needs of the Open Sky community and is known for her passion and skill for leadership and development. Mariah skillfully blends her background as a psychotherapist, behavior analyst, and art therapist to build deep and positive connections with students and parents while supporting the family system through change. She is recognized by clients and peers for her positive nature, open personality, and tenacious dedication.

TOPICS COVERED: Awareness, Communication, Connection, Gender, Inclusive Language, Inclusivity, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Pronouns, Sexuality

00:00 Intro

02:25 Awareness around gender and sexuality

05:19 Mental health issues in the LGBTQ+ community

07:39 How parents can support their LGBTQ+ children

09:52 Where parents can get support

10:30 Fears and challenges parents may face

12:20 Creating safe and inclusive spaces

14:24 Inclusive language

17:50 How does support affect LGBTQ+ youth?

21:00 Working with LGBTQ+ youth at Open Sky

24:05 Fostering connection

SELECT QUOTES:

“When people start to live in this brave, open sharing way, particularly about their gender and sexuality, I think this more visible way of being in the world, it gives people examples of how they can actually belong. How they can be themselves. And so of course, just like tattoos, we see it with TVs, movies, magazines in our communities. We look around and we see diverse ways that people are showing up, people are expressing themselves, and I think we're seeing more examples. So that's notable, how we see evidence of it in our communities.”

“Parents can really struggle with different feelings. It might be hard to let go of particular expectations that they had of who their child was going to be, how their child was going to grow up and live out their life. And in that, parents need a lot of support in order to go through their own process. And I think it's relevant that parents have room to feel their own emotions too. “

“It's important to just start trying. And you're going to make mistakes and you can acknowledge them, you can apologize and then move forward. And so I think the first part is to educate yourself on what individuals are identifying? How do they actually identify for themselves? How do they feel comfortable in themselves? What is the best expression for themself? That to me is an important part of establishing connection and communication and also establishing, ‘Hey, I care, I'm paying attention.’”

“I think if a child sees their parents and family members as people who are accepting and supportive that it allows them to really step into their whole selves because they know they have their family behind them. And I think that allows them to authentically express who they are.”

PREVIEW:

Disordered eating—different from eating disorders—is a condition we're seeing more and more often at Open Sky. While eating disorders may be more commonly understood in our society, disordered eating is less well known. In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Senior Clinical Therapist Kirsten Bolt, MED, LMFT helps us better understand this topic, especially as it relates to youth. Kirsten explores the rise of disordered eating; its impacts on physical, emotional, mental, and relational health; how she works with students to build awareness and create change; and what concerned parents can do to approach this topic with their children.

GUEST PROFILE:

KIRSTEN BOLT, MED, LMFT

Kirsten Bolt  is a Senior Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Passionate about working with adolescent girls, Kirsten emphasizes emotional regulation, assertive communication, identity development, vulnerability, and healthy relationships in her treatment approach. She incorporates humor and playfulness into all she does and quickly develops strong therapeutic relationships with her students and families.

As a family therapist, Kirsten is skilled in clarifying complicated systemic issues and helping formulate a concrete diagnostic assessment. She is supportive of parents who might need extra coaching due to anxiety, grief, and other personal struggles. With her firm and direct approach, Kirsten confronts presenting issues and holds students and families accountable to their therapeutic work, while circumventing the shame that can interfere with progress.

TOPICS COVERED:

00:00 Intro

01:57 Why do we need to talk more about disordered eating?

04:22 The difference between disordered eating and eating disorders

07:02 Disordered eating patterns

09:23 How parents can understand more

12:01 The impact of disordered eating on day-to-day life

15:27 Co-occuring mental health issues

16:25 Causes of disordered eating

20:22 The role society plays in disordered eating

23:13 What can parents do?

26:06 Kirsten’s therapeutic approach

SELECT QUOTES:

“As we see some of the disordered eating patterns take hold, anxiety can increase, depression can increase, which again, can further complicate the relational factors. And so isolation can increase, kids can then start picking up some other unhealthy patterns. They might find themselves engaging in self injury or substance use. There can be other behavioral patterns that they pick up as well. It can also affect one's executive functioning skills, which affects school and affects vocation and work. I would say that mental health and emotional health tolls exacerbate everything.”

“I think we so commonly think about disordered eating, we think eating disorders, we think of anorexia, we think of girls. And it's just not that. There are so many people that are struggling with this. It’s across all populations and demographics.”

“I think this is something that people are utilizing as a means to cope and manage their emotions. Sometimes it’s about, ‘This is something I can control where everything else in my life feels out of control, and I feel powerless.’ I think that’s a huge  contributor.” 

“Food is a way we come together as family and friends. There's a lot to celebrate about food and as with everything, there can be that double-edged sword.”

“It’s a starting point to be able to ask direct questions. It conveys, ‘I see you, I’m paying attention, and I care.’ These are really important messages for our kids.”

“So much of our work out here is helping create awareness and helping create internal motivation for change.”