In our sex-crazed, beauty-obsessed culture, why is it still so taboo for beautiful women to admit to CONSCIOUSLY (and shamelessly!) using their looks for personal, professional, and financial gain? The truth is, my appearance has been responsible for the majority of what I was able to achieve throughout my 20s — not just professionally as an on-air host, model (groan), and content creator, but in navigating a wide variety of global social scenes and subcultures, too. Though who I am as a person made the magic happen, the way I look always opened the door - for better or worse.

I have zero regrets, but at 30, I’m starting to focus more on developing the parts of myself that aren’t perceptible. To be looked at and *seen* is an immense privilege, but it also led to an over-dependence on the reaction I solicit from others - even outside of audition rooms or sound stages. In certain ways, it’s led to the dissolution of important emotional boundaries, too. (Like, why tf do I feel numb to sexual harassment?!) The truth is, the things that make me feel truly SEXY have nothing to do with my face or body - they’re totally internal. And contrary to what society wants women to believe, most of them have come with age!

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Share your own confession - or love letters and hate mail - at confessions@aliweissworld.com. Follow Ali on Instagram & TikTok @aliweissworld. Tales of Taboo is produced and narrated by Ali Weiss. Audio production by Wolf Taylor & Aamir Augustine at WTF Media. Theme song by Chris Stathopolous. Cover photo by Erika Flynn. Cover art by Kristen Montenegro. "Degenerate" sweatshirts & G-Strings are available on Ali's Instagram via DM.