Reference points! We all have a core set of experiences that we use to contextualize all of our new and incoming experiences. In this episode we unpack why this happens and what we can do about it.
 
 “The best predictor of a child's security of attachment is not what happened to his parents as children, but rather how his parents made sense of those childhood experiences.”
 ― Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation

1. Awareness. Learn what your reference points are, and recognize they're not set in stone.
2. Understanding. Learn why those are you reference points.
3. Acceptance. Release your "shoulds" around your reference points, and hold space for old ones to fade and new ones to emerge as you continue to return to your True North.

 Why don't we do this work??

1. It's a lot of things to learn, which can make it seem daunting.
2. It's not modeled for us, which can make it seem awkward and lonely.
3. It requires veering from the script we were given, which can make it seem scary.

 The Catch-22: If you turn every moment into a self awareness/self understanding/self acceptance life lesson, you'll never get to actually USE the lessons you learn, which simply amounts to cultivating presence:
 
"We're doing all this work in order to remove obstacles to being present, but if we obsess over it, the work itself becomes the obstacle."
 
Tools for getting back into your body and cultivating presence:

• Go outside.
• Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can smell, 2 things you can feel, 1 thing you can taste.

 With any kind of repetitive training, the act itself will yield small, measurable, direct results. But the consistency will yield large, immeasurable, indirect results.

The point is to catch things you've been missing (reprogramming your reticular activating system). Then you start to catch epiphanies you've been missing as well:

"We don't hear what people say; we imagine what they mean."
― Byron Katie, The Work

 GRATITUDES:

• Abby is grateful for her son, and how he teaches her at least as much as she teaches him.
• Ryan is grateful that his dad played his part in breaking a generational cycle of abuse.

   MODEETS:

• Join our tribe at patreon.com/truenorth11
• Get life coaching from Abby at IndigoCoaching.net
• Catch Ryan on TikTok at @the_holistic_mystic
• Watch us at TinyURL.com/TrueNorth11YouTube
• Email us at hello@truenorth11.com
• Stalk us at truenorth11.com

😳😬😆🤯🤩🥰🥳