In this juicy and informative episode, Jayda asks Ruby what changes she wants to see to sex education, why Ruby thinks we have to centre pleasure in sex ed and how talking about pleasure is necessary to truly teach about consent. Ruby discusses how not to talk about sex and pleasure though and the importance and complexity of age-appropriate conversations around sex. Ruby shares some fascinating insight into Dualism, and how the philosophy that has separated mind and body is also seeped in patriarchy and has prevented us from having a more holistic relationship with sex and intimacy. Ruby also shares how she is able to find common ground with people who don’t feel queer or trans-inclusive and also the importance of allowing adults to say they don’t understand something. They also discuss the fear-mongering around porn and how to engage in porn in a healthy way, and Jayda also asks Ruby about her experiences of being non-monogamous and Ruby’s advice for anyone wanting to open up their relationship and explore non-monogamy but also feel like it would be too hard. They talk about how to navigate jealousy and the importance of accepting rather than fearing complex emotions.

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Ruby Rare Website

The Non-Monogamy Playbook

Sex-Ed: A Guide For Adults

Ruby Rare (she/they) is an award-winning sex and relationships expert with over eight years of experience in the industry. A writer, presenter and broadcaster, they are on a mission to get everyone talking more confidently and inclusively about sex. Starting off as a sex educator for BROOK, UK’s leading sexual health charity, for which she remains an ambassador, Ruby has gone on to author two books, ‘Sex Ed: A Guide for Adults (Bloomsbury, 2020)’ and ‘The Non-Monogamy Playbook’ which is releasing on Penguin Random House in January 2025. Ruby also hosted the E4 show, Sex Rated alongside Rylan Clark and the popular podcast docu-series In Touch, which explores the ways we connect to sex, relationships, and our bodies with nuance and curiosity. Runy is also the co-founder of the body positive life drawing class, Body Love Sketch Club, and has been featured in the Guardian, Metro, Pink News, and Huffington Post, and has spoken at TedXLondon, Women of the World Festival, and on BBC Woman’s Hour. In 2023 Ruby won best Sex and Relationships Creator at the bCreator Awards, has been listed as one of 24 figures making a positive change to social media in Cosmopolitan’s Positivity Index, and is on The DIVA Power List, which celebrates queer trailblazers changing the game for LGBTQ+ representation. Ruby enjoys collaborative partnerships with the likes of Netflix, Modibodi, LELO, JOYClub and Feeld.

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