So, at last Eamon Porktraddle, tin hat sparkling in the evening lights has realised what was gnawing away at him all these years. He didn’t need a doctor to tell him. What he saw through the grimy windows of the townhall brought it all into sudden, shocking focus. In that instant he saw exactly how he is part of the great sharing of the Universe. How we move through time and space no matter what we are at any one particular moment. How the great cheese sandwich of energy passes through us and out as one great fart dance. Now he is ready for the great sea change in this the final episode.

Thank you for accompanying us all on this amazing journey. For me, this has been a project lasting a dozen years and I have to acknowledge everybody who came with me: Matt Wilkinson, Roddy Skeaping, Elinor Cooper, Clare Shervin, Holly Cooper, Timo Peach, Conrad Barr, Paul Kelly, Trisha Lewis, Howard Shepherd, Graham Howes, Mirek Lucan and of course Julian Harrow. I’d also like to acknowledge the Bournemouth Emerging Arts Fund, Bournemouth Council, The Winchester when it was the greatest performance space in the town under Louise keeley and mark Berry and David lane at the Factory Studios. I’m sure there have been others and I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t achieve my goal of getting everybody’s voice into the recording somewhere. I hope this stays in the public realm for as long as possible advert free as a tribute to the idea of a cooperative enterprise where most people had no idea what I was up to. Thank you all for your patience.

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I’ve been telling you about Eamon Porktraddle’s last day in this little seaside town where more than usual seems to be happening. At the end of the last episode he was running hell for leather in his tinfoil hat to be somewhere. Somewhere more important even than an appointment with his doctor. If you count the tank full of fishes that he upset it brings the body count up to double figures. I think this all needs some sort of conclusion very soon. Especially as this is the penultimate episode. And there are questions we all want answered. Especially “What is the significance of the cheese sandwich?”

Eamon Porktraddle .... Julian Harrow

Gloria Swanson .... Trisha Lewis

Mrs Emilia Grunt ..... Holly Cooper

Mermaids .... Elinor Cooper

and

Paul Kelly .... The Town Band

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Story so far. Porktraddle. Tinfoil hat. Annoying mermaids. Cheese sandwich. Terrible accidents. Got drunk. Spent the afternoon in the launderette reading his poetry. Suddenly remembers he has an appointment.

Life and Death and Everything in Between by peter John Cooper with music by Julian Harrow.

Starring Julian Harrow as Eamon Porktraddle and Holly Cooper and Elinor Cooper as the Mermaids.

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Eamon Porktraddle wearing a hat fashioned from tinfoil is on some sort of quest which somehow seems to involve a triangular cheese sandwich and the principal of Entropy. This may just go some way towards explaining the tragedies that seem to beset this little sea side town. Gloria Swanson, the Town mayor is having her hair done in preparation for tonight’s town planning meeting. Porktraddle has acquired a five pound note and is trying to get drunk again following a dreadful accident on the cliffs. Although it takes a bit of effort to get drunk on five pounds.

Eamon Porktraddle ..... Julian Harrow

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Porktraddle is still being bothered by the mermaids. He’s come into town to see if he can find clues as to what he should be doing. Gloria Swanson has taken herself to the hairdresser before the important town planning meeting. Porktraddle has accidentally broken a glass and Patrick has given him a five pound note. This is apparently very significant.

• Eamon Porktraddle ....... Julian Harrow
• Mermaids ........ Holly Cooper
• Elinor Cooper
• Gloria Swanson ........ Trisha Lewis
• Patrick .......... Graham Howes
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• Are you keeping up? Have you any idea what’s going on? Well, I have dropped some massive hints so you ought to have some inkling by now. But let’s just recap. Eamon Porktraddle is on a quest to save the world. But what on earth that involves he doesn’t know. And he keeps getting distracted by the day to day life of the town. He is wearing a tinfoil hat he made from rubbish on the beach to keep out the voices of the mermaids. But the last day of summer is already looking ominous what with the discovery of a cheese sandwich, the threat of a nuclear holocaust and the unfortunate death of a marmalade cat and the cold eye of the town Mayor Gloria Swanson. We can only assume that things are going to get worse.
• Eamon Porktraddle ....... Julian Harrow
• Mermaids ........ Holly Cooper
• Elinor Cooper
• Gloria Swanson ........ Trisha Lewis
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• The story so far: Eamon Porktraddle is on a quest. Somehow, he knows it involves a cheese sandwich and a nuclear conflagration. Gloria Swanson, the town Mayor shudders as she watches him at work picking up litter on the beach whilst singing loudly and making unhygienic noises but she is delighted to see a couple of young medical students heading for the cliffs for a day’s climbing. These, she thinks are more like the people she wants to see here. They are the hope for the future. Meanwhile Porktraddle heads for town centre.
• Eamon Porktraddle ..... Julian Harrow

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• The story so far: In his sleep Eamon Porktraddle visits the planet Kyarra where a vision of the earth and all its squalor is revealed to him. He realises there is something he ought to be doing about it. Next day whilst picking up litter on the beach and being driven mad by the mermaids who keep reminding him of his quest he finds a cheese sandwich. The sandwich reminds him of something that happened in his past and which he has chosen to forget. Now listen on.

• Eamon Porktraddle ..... Julian Harrow

  Mermaids ..... Holly Cooper

  Elinor Cooper

• Gloria Swanson ....... Trisha Lewis

• With thanks to Freesound Project

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