This episode of "Words F*cking Matter," is a masterclass in conscious language, radical responsibility, and what it really means to heal and grow one word at a time.

In this bold and unscripted episode, Army Veteran and author Andy Weins drops truth bombs that will challenge everything you think you know about language, healing, and accountability. Andy doesn’t tiptoe around transformation—mid‑show, he flips the script and calls ME out for using his so‑called “sh*t words,” exposing how my language was quietly sabotaging my own growth.

He believes (and proves) that words f*cking matter—words like “if," "but,” “should,” “easy,” “can’t." These might sound harmless, but they carry weight. They limit our choices, muddy our intentions, and keep us stuck in cycles of blame, avoidance, and ego.

If you’ve ever said “I just don’t know how” or “It’s too hard”—this episode is your mirror and your medicine. Bring your notebook, bring your humility, and bring your willingness to grow so you can rewrite your story—one word at a time.

Don’t forget to vote for Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing in Best of Madison – Local Podcast!

🔗 Connect with Andy

🔗 Connect with Andy on LinkedIn

🔗 Andy's Book: Words F*cking Matter

🔗 Connect with Tami

Show Notes:

• 00:44 – When my guest flips the script and calls me out on my language
• 03:21 – Grab your pen and paper—you’re going to want to take notes
• 04:09 – Quick favor: Vote for Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing for Best of Madison - Local Podcast
• 05:48 – Meet today’s guest: Andy Weins—speaker, author, entrepreneur, podcaster, and Army Veteran
• 10:47 – Why Andy makes decisions quickly (and how failing fast leads to better choices)
• 11:51 – How one word can shift everything + the “Start - Stop - Continue” method for growth
• 13:54 – Three practical ways to eliminate the word “but” from your vocabulary
• 17:34 – What “truthful adjustment” means and how to apply it when you fall short
• 21:02 – Boundaries vs. expectations—and the quote Andy has tattooed on his arm
• 27:48 – How lack of confidence is often rooted in a wounded inner child
• 30:35 – The difference between “simple” and “complicated”
• 31:00 – The OODA Loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act + Reflect, Realize, Regulate
• 35:10 – Breaking down the Savior Complex—how it helps (and hurts)
• 41:48 – The OAR Model: Ownership, Accountability, Responsibility vs. Blame, Excuses, Denial
• 48:35 – Why Andy says “truth” is just another sht word—and why “perspective” is more powerful
• 50:20 – That time I completely froze…on my own podcast
• 54:10 – Why self-talk matters + the Harvard research to back it up
• 59:43 – “Sometimes, Always, Never” people—and how to protect your energy
• 1:02:44 – Specifics vs. details—what’s the difference, and why it matter
• 1:06:37 – The HALT Method: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
• 1:11:03 – The 5-5-5 Principle: 5 minutes in the morning, after work, and before bed
• 1:12:34 – The six most powerful ways to start a sentence
• 1:14:09 – Helping others label their feelings by mislabeling (yes, you read that right)
• 1:19:13 – The ultimate “sht word” revealed

What happens when your ego hijacks your healing? That’s exactly what this week’s episode dives into—with real, raw stories that reveal how emotional growth can get derailed by the very part of us that’s trying to protect our wounds: the Ego. I open up about how not wanting to feel like a burden led me to ignore my body’s needs—and ultimately abandon my Inner Child. The result? A full-blown crash…and a gut-level wake-up call I couldn’t ignore.

I also reflect on moments when my ego took the wheel—deflecting blame, taking things personally, and unintentionally hurting people I care about. This is what it looks like when healing gets hijacked.

But more importantly, this episode is a call to step up as the adult in your Inner Child’s life, especially when the ego wants to run the show. That may mean reaching for tools, support, or resources that were never modeled for you—and choosing to respond in new, grounded ways.

Healing isn’t about perfection. It’s about recognizing when old patterns are in charge, pausing, and making a conscious choice to do things differently—even when it’s hard.

🔗 Join the Roots & Wings Inner Child Program (starts June 5th)

🧁 Shoutout to Sweet Magpie’s Bakery—go treat your inner child!

Show Notes:

• 6:07 Feeling like a burden as a child
• 7:49 Roots & Wings: Inner Child Healing program starts June 5th
• 10:36 Sweet Magpie’s Bakery shoutout
• 14:58 Stone of the Episode: Larimar - Throat Chakra Activation
• 17:09 Calling out the Ego
• 20:28 Suppressed emotions & gut health
• 30:00 How ego hijacks logic during emotional triggers
• 33:45 Low blood sugar = body & inner child screaming for care
• 40:17 Inner child tantrum vs ego deflecting blame
• 50:18 Ego taking things personally & hurting others
• 59:30 The importance of asking twice: “How are you really doing?”
• 1:04:00 Why asking for help is hard and holding space is harder
• 1:07:50 Knowledge vs emotional maturity
• 1:11:21 Why we need “training wheels” on the healing journey

Episodes Mentioned:

• #64: When Love Triggers
• #63: Unlocking Relationship Dynamics with Christie Bemis
• #30: Healing Through Darkness with Erika from Sweet Magpie's Bakery

In this VERY personal episode of Tami Talks: Unscripted Healing, I open up about my new relationship—three months in and already pulling back layers I thought I’d healed.

After 2.5 years of healing alone—separating from a past relationship, parenting, rebuilding, and reconnecting with my inner child—I was finally at a place of peace. Or so I thought.

Then love showed up. Not the fairytale kind. The real kind. The kind that gently (and sometimes not-so-gently) holds up a mirror to the wounds I was still carrying. My abandonment wounds. My people-pleaser. The voice that still whispers, “You’ll never be good enough. You are such a burden.”

This episode is vulnerable and full of reminders that God and the Universe send us the exact people and moments we need—not to break us, but to help us break open.

You’ll hear how I learned to stop projecting my pain, take ownership of my healing in real-time, and finally understand the difference between being a burden…and being a gift.

✨ You are not too much.

✨ You are not broken.

✨ You are worthy of love that sees the real you—and stays!

Chapters

• 00:00 Embracing Vulnerability and Personal Healing
• 09:34 The Play of Life: Taking Center Stage
• 12:14 Characters in Our Healing Journey 17:23 The Power of Inner Child Work
• 24:47 Triggers as Opportunities for Growth
• 29:27 Reconnecting with the Inner Child
• 34:48 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
• 39:07 Embracing Masculine and Feminine Energies
• 44:48 The Power of Asking for Help 52:18 Understanding Burdens and Gifts
• 58:07 The Role of Inner Child in Healing
• 01:02:31 Collaborative Healing and Support Systems

Links Mentioned:

• Episode Sponsored By: Believe Crew
• Roots & Wings: 4 Week Program

Episodes Mentioned:

• #63 with Christie: http://youtu.be/fiZqfLTPtSk
• #56: Why We Sabotage a Good Thing: https://youtu.be/WYzSmk6Fpq0
• #50 with Arlo: https://youtu.be/B1Bka5pVjtM