Face-to-face socializing in America has declined by more than 20% nationwide. Among some groups, like young adults and unmarried men, the drop is closer to 40%.

But strangely, this hasn’t led to the loneliness epidemic that you hear so much about. Instead, we’re seeing a new phenomenon: rising aloneness without rising loneliness.

Today on the show, Derek Thompson will help us understand this puzzling disconnect and its profound implications. Derek is a staff writer at The Atlantic who recently wrote a piece entitled “The Anti-Social Century.” In the first half of our conversation, Derek unpacks the cultural shifts and technological developments — and no, it’s not just the smartphone — that have created what he calls the “convenience curse.” We then get into why even self-described introverts are often happier when forced to socialize, the concerning trend of young men settling further and further into isolating, sedentary leisure, and practical ways we can strengthen our atrophied social muscles to become better, happier people.

• AoM Article: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social Fitness
• AoM Podcast #742: The Power of Talking to Strangers
• AoM Article: Introversion as an Excuse
• AoM Podcast #176: The Vanishing Neighbor & The Transformation of American Community
• AoM Article: Use Technology Like the Amish

• Derek on X

People commonly think of time as a fixed, linear, objective structure. But our own experiences belie this belief. We’ve all been in situations where time has seemed to drag on or speed up, and there are even whole periods of our lives that seem to have gone by slower or faster.

As my guest Steve Taylor will explain, time is a lot more fluid and moldable than we often recognize. Steve is a psychologist and the author of Time Expansion Experiences: The Psychology of Time Perception and the Illusion of Linear Time. Today on the show, he unpacks the four laws of psychological time. He discusses the theories as to why time speeds up as we get older and what factors slow down and speed up time. We delve into the way time particularly expands in accidents and emergencies, giving people the ability to take life-saving measures. And we discuss why some people are more likely to have time expansion experiences than others, and what you can do to slow down time and make your life feel longer as a result.

• AoM Article: Be a Time Wizard — How to Slow Down and Speed Up Time
• AoM Article: More Footage — Take the One-Month “Do Something New Every Day” Challenge

• Steve’s website

Pornography is more prevalent and accessible than ever before, yet its effects on relationships, mental health, and human development aren't popularly well understood. Discussions on the topic are often engaged in from an emotional or religious point of view; less typical is a discussion of pornography from an empirical frame.

My guest today, Dr. Brian Willoughby, a social scientist who has spent the past 15 years studying porn's impacts, will unpack what the research actually says about how it affects personal well-being, relationship satisfaction, and sexual expectations. We discuss the latest data on porn use across different demographics, how porn impacts religious versus non-religious populations differently, and how exposure affects kids. Brian shares whether using porn causes erectile dysfunction and depression, what parents should know about talking to their kids about porn, the main risk of porn that's typically under-discussed, and more.

• AoM's series on porn and how to quit it (also available as an ebook)
• NYT article that Brian was interviewed for: "It’s Time to Talk About Pornography, Scholars Say"
• Most People With Addiction Simply Grow Out of It
• NYT article: "The Teen Trend of Sexual Choking"
• Brian's research

• Brian's faculty page
• Brian at the Wheatley Institute