The Art of Parenting

By: Dennis and Barbara Rainey
  • Summary

  • You are preparing your children for independence their entire life. Make sure you are intentional to help them avoid being derailed.
    © Dennis and Barbara Rainey
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Episodes
  • Relationships (Part 1) - The Bridge That Love Built
    Jan 7 2020
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Bridge that Love Built Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 1 of 3) Bob: All of us, as parents, want our children to be able to form healthy relationships as they grow up. Dennis Rainey says, for that to happen, moms and dads need to know how to skillfully pursue a strong relationship with each of their children. Dennis: First Corinthians 13 says, if you’ve missed love, you’ve missed life; so these little children that you’re raising, who will become big people, have to be trained in the basics of love. That begins with us as parents. You and I, as parents, are God’s physical arms of love to these little people to tutor them in what love truly means. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Wednesday, December 5th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. Don’t assume that your children are going to be naturally good at forming strong, healthy relationships; that’s a bad assumption. They need your help to know how to develop those kinds of skills. 1:00 We’ll talk more about that today. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. You know, when I think back on all of the things that Mary Ann and I thought about—in terms of “These are things we need to make sure we teach our children,”—I don’t know that it ever dawned on us that one of the things we needed to teach our children was how to be good at relationships. I don’t know that that was ever a conscious thought—that teaching them how to be good at relationships was something we would need to do. I guess we just thought: “Well, that just happens,”—right?—“You grow up, and you’re good at relationships.” Dennis: Right. And you’re supposed to know how to do it naturally; right? I want to ask my bride, Barbara—we just celebrated our 46 years of marriage,— 2:00 Bob: Congratulations, by the way. Barbara: Thank you, sir. Dennis: —and we had six kids that are all married now: “Go back to the beginning. Did you and I ever have a conscious—we probably had some, when we were unconscious, raising kids—[Laughter]—Did we ever have a conscious thought about training our kids to love others?” Barbara: Not early on, but I remember having conscious thoughts about it when sibling rivalry was at its peak; because then I’m thinking, “Oh my; I have to teach these kids how to relate to each other.” Bob: —“how not to kill each other.” Barbara: Yes; so it was defensive. Bob: I do remember that—that you have to teach them how to get along with one another and, maybe, how to get along with kids on the playground. But again, the whole idea that relationship training is a part of a parent’s responsibility—I think that’s one of the big ideas I think you guys have captured in your book, The Art of Parenting. It’s what we’re going to spend time talking about on today’s program. Dennis: You know, you never know, Bob, who’s listening to the broadcast. I had a young lady come up to me in Boulder, Colorado, this past summer— 3:00 she said: “I grew up in Southern California. In the backseat of our car, as my mom would be driving me to school, I’d be listening to FamilyLife Today.” [Laughter] She said, “I listened to it for years—all the way through elementary school, junior high, high school. Then I kind of left the faith.” She said: “I went to Stanford, and I kind of lost my way; but graduated—came out the other side—and was listening to FamilyLife Today again when it got my attention. It was like, ‘I need to come back to what I had heard.’” She said: “I’m not married. I have a couple of kids. All that training—all that training I heard—as a little girl, growing up—is now paying off for me, as a mom. I just want to say, ‘Thank you to FamilyLife Today for doing what you do.’” Bob: Well, you know who we need to say, “Thank you,” to— Dennis: I do! Bob: —the people, who have made this program possible over the years. Dennis: That’s what I want to say to our listeners right now: “Would you make this broadcast possible to another little girl like that?”— 4:00 —“maybe to their mom and dad,—maybe to a couple, who are engaged, who need to go to a Weekend to Remember®,” You’ve heard about it here, so you know how to get them there; but to do that, we need folks, like you, standing with us, financially, with generous gifts, here at yearend. Over 40 percent of our donations come in in the next 30 days, and those 30 days make the other 11 months possible. Bob: Yes; that’s right. Dennis: Would you stand with us? I’m serious. I’ve been doing this now for 27 years, and none of your money is sticking to my fingers—trust me. It’...
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    32 mins
  • Relationships (Part 2) - The Family as a Training Center
    Jan 7 2020
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. The Family as a Training Center Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 2 of 3) Bob: Is it okay for moms and dads to fight in front of the kids? Barbara Rainey says, sometimes, it is. Barbara: We decided that we wanted our kids to see us having some disagreements—not big conflict—but if we were disagreeing about something that was not a huge thing, but we really both had a strong opinion on it, we decided that we would go again and occasionally express our disagreement in front of our kids and let them watch us work it out. We just disagree, and parents disagree. It’s okay for parents to disagree. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, December 6th. Our host is Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine. Your kids are going to have to know how to resolve conflict, because conflict is a part of life. They need your coaching, and they need to see how you do it. We’re going to talk more about that today. Stay with us. 1:00 And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition. We’re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to help their children develop some relational intelligence—to help them know how to do relationships right. Dennis: —how to love imperfect people. It’s that kind of programming that we try to provide, here, at FamilyLife Today that keeps listeners coming back for more. You ought to hear one of my favorite stories—my all-time stories—in 27 years of broadcasting. It was a letter from a woman, who lived in Alaska. Where she lived, she couldn’t get a radio signal; so she, every day—it was like at 10 o’clock/10:30—she would get on her snowmobile and drive out to a ridge [Laughter] so she could listen to FamilyLife Today. A woman—a wife/a mother—who needed practical biblical help and hope for her home. When you give to FamilyLife Today, you’re making this broadcast possible— 2:00 —not merely to folks who live on the outskirts of humanity in Alaska—but you’re making it possible, all across our country. If you believe in what we’re doing, here, on FamilyLife Today, I need you to pick up the phone, or go online, or take out a check and say: “Guys, keep going! Twenty-seven years has been great, but we need this broadcast to stand strong now. Here’s my investment in godly homes and legacies for generations to come.” Bob: During the Christmas season, and as we approach the end of the year, this is a particularly critical time to hear from listeners; isn’t it? Dennis: It is; over 40 percent of our donations come in this month. As I said on a recent broadcast, these 30 days determine how FamilyLife® is going to continue broadcasting over the next 11 months. Bob: Yes. Dennis: Please, stand with us. We need your help now. Bob: Here’s good news: right now, if you help with a donation, your donation is going to be doubled—it’s going to be matched, dollar for dollar. 3:00 We’ve got some friends of the ministry who have offered to match every donation we receive, during the month of December, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $2.5 million. That’s a huge opportunity for us; and we’re hoping FamilyLife Today listeners will respond and make an online donation, or call to donate. When you do, we’d like to say, “Thank you,” this year by sending you a DVD copy of the movie that FamilyLife produced this year that was in theaters a few months ago. It’s a movie called Like Arrows. It’s going to be available for purchase in early 2019; but right now, we have a limited supply available if you can help with a yearend donation. Donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Just ask for the DVD, Like Arrows, and we’ll send that out to you, along with our thanks for your support of the ministry. Now, I want to tell you guys about my next-door neighbor when I was growing up. His name was Dee; he was a year younger than me. We grew up across the driveway from one another—we had a shared driveway. 4:00 Dennis: You’re not talking about recently; you’re talking about when you were a kid. Bob: This was when I was a kid; yes. This was back in Glendale, Missouri. Dennis: Back before the earth’s crust had hardened. [Laughter] Bob: We shared a driveway that “Y”-d off. As you came up the driveway, the right side went to their house; the left side went to our house. We moved in when I was two; Dee was one. We went all the way through high school together. He was the best man in my wedding. Barbara: Really? Bob: Yes; so we had a great relationship. In fact, Dee just came and spent a weekend at our house a couple of months ago. We had a great time getting caught up on everything. Barbara: Wow! Bob: So ...
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    30 mins
  • Relationships (Part 3) - Teaching Kids to Love God
    Jan 7 2020
    FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Teaching Kids to Love God Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: Relationships (Day 3 of 3) Bob: As parents, we want our children to be skillful in relationships; but there’s one relationship that matters more than any other—that is our children’s relationship with Jesus. Barbara Rainey says that’s something that, as parents, we can’t engineer. Barbara: It’s not our responsibility. I think that’s where parents get confused—I know I felt it. I felt like it was my responsibility to teach my kids and to make sure they had a relationship with Christ, but that’s not it. My responsibility was to present the truth to them and to model a relationship; it’s God’s responsibility to call their hearts. I think that’s where we get mixed up, as moms and dads—we own what is not ours. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, December 7th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. As parents, how can we prepare our child’s heart so that, when the seeds of the gospel are planted, they can take root? 1:00 We’re going to talk more today about our responsibility, as parents, to introduce our children to Jesus. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I had kind of an “Aha” moment—this was a number of years ago—but I remember reading in Romans, Chapter 1, where it says that, since the beginning of time, it’s been obvious to everybody that there’s a God. That’s not new news for anybody. Anybody who can look around and see the world/anybody who’s aware of their own existence— Dennis: This is the Lepine paraphrase of Romans 1. Bob: Yes! This is what Romans 1 says: “If you’re alive and you can take a breath, you know, deep inside, you’re here because there is a God.” 2:00 The “Aha” moment for me was—as I raise my kids, my kids know there’s a God. The issue is—I don’t have to convince my kids that there’s a God who exists—I just have to introduce them to the God they already know exists. Or my assignment is to explain who this God, that they know already, is; so they can have a relationship with him. We’ve been talking this week about relationships and how that fits into parenting and the priority for us, as parents, to help our kids know how to do relationships—to build strong relationships with our children to help them know how to relate to one another. At the core of all of this—they need to understand the God who created them and what it means to have a relationship with Him. Dennis: A listener recently wrote us, Bob, and said something very similar to that. She said: “Your broadcasts, in general, are so helpful; but a blessing to my life. First, as a follower of Jesus Christ. 3:00 But secondly, now that I’m 36 years old, I don’t have the wisdom and the training to disciple my kids and to know how to pass this truth on to my family. You guys are equipping me with those biblical principles and spiritual growth so that our kids don’t wither when they go out into the world, but they know how to thrive.” Bob: Well, we ought to say, “Thank you,” right here, at the beginning, to those who, not only listen to FamilyLife Today, but to those that make it possible for listeners like this to get the help and hope they need for their marriage and their family. Dennis: And as we’re here at yearend, I just need to turn to you, as a listener, and invite you—and may I also say, “challenge you”—to join with us, financially, in this broadcast. Help make it possible so that others—not only you and your family—but that others can benefit from this broadcast as well. We need you right now to pull out a checkbook or a credit card— 4:00 —go online or get an envelope and put that check in the mail to FamilyLife Today—so that we can be on air with stories of redemption and hope that do give wisdom to those who are in the trenches. Bob, I think that’s what marriages and families need today—is that practical biblical help and hope that FamilyLife Today can be counted on to provide. Bob: Well, as I’ve said, this is a particularly good time of year for you to make a donation; because we’ve had some friends of the ministry who have come along and offered to double every donation we receive. They’re going to match it, dollar for dollar, up to a total of $2.5 million. For us to take full advantage of that matching gift, we need every listener, who has benefited from this program over the course of the year, to be as generous as you can be so that we can end the year in a strong position. You can donate, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. When you do, ...
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    29 mins

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