Episodes

  • HELLBOUND + "Goodbye"...for now (w/Frank & Geoff)
    Feb 2 2024

    "ROYAL BLOOD!" Well, Cannonheads. The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have one last Cannon hurrah before shooting up the coffin of The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Canon is taking an indefinite hiatus (possibly returning with a new format/focus in the future) and what better way to send us off than with Cannon's "final" movie, HELLBOUND!

    In this episode, The Cannon Bros reminisce about their 4-year run and FINALLY try Bronson's cologne, Mandom! We chat about the wild tone shifts of Hellbound, the proto-Walker Texas Ranger vibes, the heavy lifting of acting from Calvin Levels and of course...thuddy quips from the “black hole of comedy”, Molasses 2x4!


    Thank you to everyone who listened and supported the show! Especially to our Patreon members and also to the author of The Cannon Film Guide series himself, Austin Trunick.


    We thought we'd be the future! But then Marion Cobretti pointed his gun at us and said, "No. You're history".


    Thanks for everything, Cannon fans.


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    2 hrs and 16 mins
  • 52 PICK UP (w/ Frank and Geoff
    Jan 26 2024

    "So long, Sport." The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back in Cannon Prestige territory with a stacked cast and some classy sleaze with "52 PICK UP"!

    Roy Scheider plays an ego-driven jerk, John Glover goes full Philly, poor Ann-Margret gets put through the wringer, Clarence Williams the III steals the show and once again.. Vanity!

    ”Something about your face makes me want to slap the sh!t out of you!" is what The Cannon Bros would say if you missed this episode!

    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 56 mins
  • THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (w/ Frank and Geoff)
    Jan 12 2024

    "This coke's kinda sweet. It's really good stuff!" The movie so nice (?) Golan and Globus made it twice! First as Lemon Popsicle and then updated for American audiences in the 80's. That's right, today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) break out the Oingo Boingo for yet another teen sex comedy, THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN! Starring the most unlikeable whiny ass character besides the kid in "Over The Top" (which is actually pretty accurate for a teenage boy, so it gets a pass).

    So bring your small Christmas trees and bag of oranges and "Come to Carmela!" *cue "Are You Ready for the Sex Girls"*


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 40 mins
  • DIE HARD (w/ Frank and Geoff)
    Dec 22 2023

    "Welcome to the party, pal!" Now we have a Die Hard episode HoHoHo! That's right, we're steering the sleigh away from Cannon Town to deliver the gift of our thoughts on this Holiday classic.

    Rub your feet on this episode carpet, grab a twinkie and declare "Yipee-ki-ya, *Mister Falcon"! (*edited for TV version).

    (in Hans Gruber voice) Merry Christmas, Cannonheads.


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 47 mins
  • DOWN TWISTED (w/Frank and Geoff)
    Dec 8 2023

    “The deal’s going down. But it’s going down twisted." The Cannon Bros travel back to the Pyuniverse and get down twisted about 1987's "DOWN TWISTED"!

    The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get disoriented with all the (down) twists and turns, contemplate the "comedic relief" of the late Charles Rocket, some Cannon Oingo Boingo reuse and...oh yeah! Hey, it's Masters of the Universe's (and nothing else) Courtney Cox for a quick minute!

    Ultimately, Albert Pyun's unique and signature style elevates what would normally be a static action crime adventure. But one thing's certain, it's...Down Twisted. 😎

    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 24 mins
  • PRESTIGE CANNON: SHY PEOPLE (w/ Frank and Geoff)
    Nov 24 2023

    "Swamp makes a body see…whatever they wants ta see." Get on your tuxes and cook up dat gumbo, cher! Cuz we're back in Prestige Cannon territory with a drama only Cannon can add a bit of sleaze to... SHY PEOPLE!

    The Cannon Bros define what "Boomer Emo Porn" is, covet Martha Plimpton's shirt collection, discuss ACT-ING and finally get to go on a proper Tangerine Dream tangent.

    “Now get yo mamma to stitch that up!” and crawl da swamps of data der Cannon Canon! (cajun laugh)


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 44 mins
  • GOING BANANAS (w/ Frank and Geoff)
    Nov 10 2023

    "Ba-Ba-Ba---Banana!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) experience another existential crisis thanks to this Cannon Kids Classic, "Going Bananas"!

    "Bonzo love Ben!" and The Cannon Cannon loves YOU, dear listener. *cue Dom DeLuise mug to camera*


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 35 mins
  • LOOSE CANNON: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (w/ Frank and Geoff)
    Oct 27 2023

    "The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is... they're dead." Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff), shout "Thrill me!" as they jam their skulls into another Loose Cannon just in time for SPOOKYYYYY season! It's a personal favorite, 1986's NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! In this episode, we give obligatory and heartfelt love for the spectacular Tom Atkins, talk more Shane Black, how "fun" isn't a bad thing and how we ALL “get off on living in the past."

    It's an episode that'll have you wryly declaring, "classic spanky".


    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    1 hr and 35 mins