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I've been working on a deeply personal episode about retroactive jealousy, but my inner critic has been relentless in sabotaging my attempts to record it. This is going to be my most revealing episode yet, explaining how retroactive jealousy has been my borderline personality disorder's "weapon of choice" throughout my life. But as I explain in this episode, my mind is stopping me from getting on with the job! I also take a brief look at the current NSW mental health system and how it is affecting me (and others) and I report a slight decrease in one of my medications (which is a win!).

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Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.

This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.

Support the show

To support the show, CLICK HERE
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message!

In this episode, I share my ongoing battle to getting help from the mental health system in reducing my medication load. And progress continues to be hard to come by.

I share the latest letters my GP has sent off to Bloomfield Hospital and ISMHU, pleading for an inpatient stay to safely reduce and taper off my psych meds. I open up about the financial barriers to private care, the paradox of needing to make anxiety-inducing phone calls just to access treatment (for anxiety disorders!), and the emotional toll of constantly needing to self-advocate with disorders such as BPD in the mix. It’s time to up the anti, and try a new strategy. One I hoped I wouldn’t have to use…

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Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.

This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.

Support the show

To support the show, CLICK HERE
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters

Send Me a Message!

The Discharge Papers returns — but not all of it is good news.
In this episode, I read through my latest discharge papers from the Mater Mental Health Hospital, offering an unfiltered and completely vulnerable look at what actually happens during a psychiatric assessment in an emergency department, during my most acute mental illness battles.

• The hospital notes describe me as articulate and intelligent, with strong insight into my mental health
• Diagnoses listed include BPD, ADHD, autism, OCD, and multiple anxiety disorders
• The psychiatrist also flagged “Cluster C personality vulnerabilities,” which I found interesting and might explore in a future episode
• I talk through the ongoing challenges of medication management, plus possible future treatments like TMS and esketamine/ketamine
• I also share my frustration with the NSW mental health system — while staying open to anything that might help me get better
• This episode follows on from Back to the Mater, where I recorded myself just before walking into the hospital seeking help. The story continues to evolve! And I'm still in the fight....just.

If you're enjoying the podcast, please like, subscribe, leave a rating, and follow me on Instagram @elliot.t.waters or check out The Dysregulated Podcast on Facebook to stay up to date with new episodes.

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Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.

This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.

Support the show

To support the show, CLICK HERE
You can follow me on Instagram: @elliot.t.waters