The Love Doc Podcast

By: Dr. Sarah Hensley
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  • Summary

  • Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
    Copyright Dr. Sarah Hensley
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Personal Success Relationships Social Sciences
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Episodes
  • Episode 38 | The Most Painful Relationship Dynamic

    Episode 38 | The Most Painful Relationship Dynamic
    Feb 4 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 38: The Most Painful Relationship DynamicIn this deeply insightful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores what she considers the most painful romantic dynamic outside of relationships with narcissists or those with personality disorders: the Fearful-Avoidant (FA) and Dismissive-Avoidant (DA) attachment pairing.Why Is This the Most Painful Dynamic?Dr. Hensley begins by breaking down the core traits of each attachment style:• Fearful-Avoidants (FAs) crave deep emotional intimacy but simultaneously fear it, oscillating between intense closeness and withdrawal. Their internal struggle stems from an upbringing marked by trauma, inconsistency, and trust breaks—often experiencing both love and fear from caregivers.• Dismissive-Avoidants (DAs), on the other hand, prioritize independence and emotional self-sufficiency. They typically shut down in the face of relational tension, having learned early on that vulnerability is unsafe and that they must rely on themselves.When these two attachment styles fall in love, the cycle of attraction and rejection becomes excruciatingly painful:• Push-Pull Dynamics: The FA constantly seeks reassurance, only to pull away when it feels too overwhelming, while the DA maintains emotional distance, reinforcing the FA’s fears of not being able to trust anyone.• Emotional Misalignment: The FA interprets the DA’s withdrawal as rejection, triggering intense anxiety and protest behaviors, while the DA feels overwhelmed by the FA’s emotional needs and shuts down further.• Unresolved Childhood Wounds: Both partners unknowingly re-enact childhood patterns—FAs chase unresponsive caregivers, while DAs retreat to the emotional solitude they relied on as children.Why Are They Attracted to Each Other?Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley delves into one of the most fascinating aspects of insecure attachment: shadow attraction—the unconscious draw toward partners who reflect our deepest fears, wounds, and unintegrated parts of ourselves.• The FA’s Shadow: The fearful-avoidant deeply fears abandonment but is paradoxically drawn to emotionally unavailable partners (DAs) because they reinforce the FA’s core belief: “I am not safe in love.” Since thier emotions tend to be all over the place they are drawn to the emotional stabitity that the DA partner protrays. • The DA’s Shadow: The dismissive-avoidant, though appearing independent, often harbors deep loneliness and suppressed emotional needs. They are magnetized by the FA’s emotional intensity, as it represents the feelings they’ve long suppressed. Since their emotions tend to be more supressed they become enamored by the FA's openess to express emotional vulnerability. Dr. Hensley explains that insecurely attached individuals are attracted to their shadows because their subconscious mind seeks familiarity, even if it is painful. Healing requires recognizing this attraction as a mirror rather than a destiny.How Can This Relationship Work?Although this dynamic is inherently painful, Dr. Hensley assures listeners that healing and transformation are possible. She shares tools and strategies from her coaching practice that help break the toxic cycle and create a more secure bond.• For Fearful-Avoidants: Learning to regulate their nervous system and develop self-trust, so they are not constantly seeking reassurance from an emotionally unavailable partner.• For Dismissive-Avoidants: Developing emotional literacy and recognizing that avoiding emotions does not equal true independence.• For Both Partners: Understanding the trauma responses at play, fostering direct communication, and shifting the relationship from one of reactivity to intentionality.Dr. Hensley offers practical steps, including boundary-setting exercises, communication techniques, and self-reflection practices, while keeping some of her most transformative methods reserved for her private clients and programs.Because this is the most common and painful dynamic Dr. Hensley sees in her practice, this episode is a must-listen for anyone trapped in the FA-DA cycle. It provides both clarity and hope, offering a roadmap to understanding why these ...
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    44 mins
  • Episode 37 | The Tik-Tok Ban

    Episode 37 | The Tik-Tok Ban
    Jan 28 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 37: “The TikTok Ban”In this episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a step outside her usual relationship-focused discussions to dive into a topic that’s deeply personal and timely: the TikTok ban. Known as her “home base,” TikTok is where Dr. Hensley’s journey began and where she built her most loyal community. She discusses why she believes TikTok is the best platform for amplifying organic voices without conditions or algorithms that stifle creators—a stark contrast to other social platforms.Dr. Hensley acknowledges the flood of misinformation surrounding the TikTok ban and emphasizes the importance of educating the public about what’s really happening. Drawing on her extensive research and the developments she’s followed closely, she outlines the key players and moments in this ongoing story.Dr. Hensley breaks this episode down with the following categories. *TikTok’s Role in Dr. Hensley’s Journey• Why TikTok feels like home and why it’s unique compared to other platforms.• The power of TikTok to amplify diverse and organic voices.• How the platform helped her connect with her audience authentically.*Origins of the TikTok Ban Discussion• Concerns over TikTok’s ownership by ByteDance, a Chinese company.• Fears about national security, data privacy, and the potential for Chinese government access to American user data.* Both former President Biden and President Trump’s Roles in how and why the tik tok ban is happening.*Congress and the Senate’s Role• Hearings with TikTok’s CEO and other stakeholders.• The bipartisan concerns about foreign influence, misinformation, and the need for stricter data privacy laws.• Differing perspectives on whether banning TikTok is a solution or a distraction.* The impact on Creators and Communities• The potential fallout for creators who rely on TikTok for connection and income.• How a ban could shift social media dynamics and stifle the organic reach that creators depend on.*Dr. Hensley’s Takeaway• Why it’s crucial for American people to be educated about the motivations behind these actions.• The broader implications of censorship and government overreach on free speech.• Her hope for a balanced solution that protects both privacy and the creative freedom of platforms like TikTok.Dr. Hensley concludes by sharing her unwavering belief in the power of creators and communities to adapt and thrive, no matter the platform. She encourages her listeners to stay informed, engaged, and proactive in understanding the policies that affect their digital lives as well as thier constitutional rights. This episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the ongoing debate surrounding TikTok and its future in the U.S.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.
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    48 mins
  • Episode 36 | Why They Cheat

    Episode 36 | Why They Cheat
    Jan 21 2025
    Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 36: Why They CheatIn episode 36 of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a deep dive into the complex reasons behind infidelity, viewed through the lens of attachment theory. As a seasoned social psychologist and attachment expert, she offers a nuanced exploration of why individuals from different attachment styles might cheat, shedding light on the often-hidden wounds that drive this behavior.Why Each Attachment Style Might Cheat1. Dismissive Avoidant:Dismissive avoidants often cheat as a way to maintain emotional distance and protect their independence. Deep down, they fear vulnerability and intimacy, and cheating allows them to avoid the commitment that comes with being fully emotionally present. They may rationalize their behavior as a way to preserve their sense of autonomy.2. Fearful Avoidant:With a mix of longing for closeness and a fear of rejection, fearful avoidants may cheat due to their inconsistent emotional needs. They might seek validation or comfort from someone outside the relationship while simultaneously pushing their primary partner away out of fear of betrayal. Their inner conflict often leads to impulsive decisions driven by unresolved trauma.3. Anxious Preoccupied:Anxious-preoccupied individuals are highly driven by a fear of being unloved or abandoned. They might cheat as a misguided attempt to get attention, reassurance, or to feel desired. Often, their infidelity stems from insecurity and an underlying belief that their partner isn’t meeting their emotional needs.Recovering From InfidelityMidway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts gears to discuss the aftermath of cheating and how couples can work to rebuild trust—if they choose to do so. She explains that recovery from infidelity is an uphill battle, requiring immense effort, vulnerability, and accountability from both partners.• Steps to Recovery: Dr. Hensley outlines specific steps for couples attempting to heal:1. Complete transparency and accountability from the unfaithful partner.2. Commitment to honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.3. Addressing the root cause of the infidelity, often tied to individual attachment wounds.4. Seeking professional guidance to navigate the intense emotions and triggers that surface during this process.However, Dr. Hensley candidly shares her professional opinion: full recovery from infidelity is rare. While some couples rebuild stronger relationships, most struggle to regain the trust and emotional safety necessary for long-term connection.Support for Those Impacted by InfidelityIn the final segment, Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of compassionate, actionable support for individuals navigating the aftermath of infidelity. Whether listeners are healing from divorce, trying to mend a relationship, or contemplating leaving, Dr. Hensley’s coaching practices offer a lifeline.She highlights how her tools and tactics—grounded in attachment theory and years of experience—equip clients to:• Regulate their nervous system amidst emotional turmoil.• Break free from self-blame and shame cycles.• Set and enforce healthy boundaries, regardless of their decision to stay or leave.Dr. Hensley assures her audience that while the pain of infidelity is profound, it is possible to heal, grow, and rediscover self-worth. Her compassionate approach provides both validation and practical strategies, empowering clients to navigate one of the most painful experiences in any relationship.Tune in to this episode for an eye-opening discussion that combines academic insight with heartfelt guidance for those grappling with the fallout of infidelity.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://...
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    59 mins

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Profile Image for Nicole P

Thank you for explaining and helping me with fearful avoidance and being vulnerable ❤️

No one has given me the insight these 2 woman have and I am appreciative. I also LOVE that this is a Christ based podcast. God gives wisdom period and these woman create a safe space to explore yourself. ❤️

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