The Not Tonight Podcast

By: Rachel Walker and Caitlin Nochajski
  • Summary

  • The Not Tonight Podcast, hosted by Rachel Walker & Caitlin Nochajski, is a space for brave women to boldly share their stories of sexual transformation in marriage and long-term relationships. Even if your partner is your best friend, do you sometimes feel stuck in your sex life? In this podcast, we hear from others about the raw, honest truth of long-term sexual relationships -why it's so common to feel disconnected, and what it take to build a sex life you love. May these deeply authentic stories encourage and reassure you, because spoiler alert: when we tell the truth, we have better sex.
    Rachel Walker and Caitlin Nochajski
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Episodes
  • S3E12: Thank You for 3 Seasons!
    Nov 28 2023

    We wrap up the third season of this podcast with reflections from Rachel and Caitlin, with an emphasis on the immense learnings that have come with creating and sustaining a story-based podcast over the past 15 months.

    Caitlin and Rachel also share two primary ways to stay involved with the project while the podcast goes on a hiatus:

    (1) Through the online Patreon community, where there are weekly videos and other resources to further your learning.

    (2) Through the monthly Women’s Circle meetings, where they gather online to listen and share as women from all walks of life open up about their learnings and receive the encouragement and support they need.

    Finally, they invite listeners to share their thoughts and ideas in a brief survey, to help them decipher what might be next for this project!

    **Thank you to your faithful listeners for journeying with us! We can’t wait to see what’s next!**

    CONNECT WITH US

    - Join the Patreon: www.nottonight.org/patreon

    - Come to a Women’s Circle: www.nottonight.org/circle

    - Fill out our survey: www.nottonight.org/survey

    - Hang out with us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/nottonightproject

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    28 mins
  • S3:E11 | From Critical to Compassionate: Rachel
    Nov 21 2023

    The project’s co-founder Rachel Walker takes her turn to share her tender journey with sexuality, beginning with a childhood shaped by religious values and the extended divorcing of her parents.

    As Rachel made sense of the world around her, she put labels and judgements on everything - especially sexuality. This led Rachel to years marked by loneliness, unreturned affections, and a period of silent self-exploration, which she concealed for over a decade.

    However, when Rachel met her husband at 18, she experienced a transformative shift. Their relationship not only healed past wounds but also presented new challenges surrounding purity and sexuality. Rachel candidly shares her struggles with her relentless pursuit of perfection, which overshadowed true pleasure.

    The episode unfolds Rachel's evolving understanding of herself and her sexuality. Her pursuit of self-discovery and her willingness to challenge societal narratives around sexuality lead to newfound confidence, softness, and authenticity in her relationship, as well as a passion for other women to discover the same in their own lives.

    Content warning: this episode includes sexual content and religious themes.


    *****


    Want to dig deeper into doing the work in your own sex life? Join the conversation in the Not Tonight Patreon!

    https://www.nottonight.org/patreon

    Filled with videos, helpful resources, and optional community, this online space is for any woman in a long-term relationship looking to get practical support to build a deeper connection.

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    56 mins
  • S3:E10 | From Harassed to Healing: Caitlin
    Nov 14 2023

    Our very own Caitlin Nochajski shares her full story for the first time on our podcast! She takes us back to her beginnings in an authoritative Catholic family and how being surrounded by seedy, unsafe men deeply impacted her future marriage and views of sex.

    Caitlin describes how even though her now-husband was always safe, stable, and respectful, her early observations about men seeped into their dynamic and led to her having a deep distaste for sex.

    After a huge blowup where the word “divorce” entered their marriage for the first time, Caitlin set out to fix their intimacy issues. She then discovered that improving her sex life not only impacted the whole of her marriage, but also the rest of her life. Her newfound passion for women’s sexual liberation led her to some unlikely places, including co-founding this project!

    Content warning: this episode includes sexual content and stories of sexual harassment.


    *****

    Want to dig deeper into doing the work in your own sex life? Join the conversation in the Not Tonight Patreon!

    https://www.nottonight.org/patreon

    Filled with videos, helpful resources, and optional community, this online space is for any woman in a long-term relationship looking to get practical support to build a deeper connection.

    Show more Show less
    56 mins

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