The SelfWork Podcast

By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
  • Summary

  • I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.

    DrMargaretRutherford.com
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Episodes
  • 439 SelfWork: Lessons Learned About Grief
    Mar 28 2025

    There are many lessons learned about grief through my work in the last 34 years of being a therapist. And today, I want to share them with you in this 439th episode of SelfWork.

    Some common questions that I'll cover are:

    • Is it ever “too late” to grieve?
    • Does your grief mean that your faith isn’t strong enough or that you are failing?
    • Is there a right way to grieve?
    • Is there a right way to respond to someone’s grief?
    • Do you ever get over grief?
    • What’s the relationship between grief and shame?

    As I often say, I feel as if I’m a conduit – a bridge – between people I’ve seen in the past and those that walk in my office today. I can try to help these present-day clients with lessons learned about grief from those seen in the past.

    The listener voicemail is from a mom whose daughter is living with a man whose own mother seems to be trying to control him so that he’ll remain in the home with her – to take care of her etc. It sounds complicated for sure.

    Advertisers Links:

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    Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

    Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

    Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork
    * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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    23 mins
  • 438 SelfWork: Why Success Doesn't Feel Like It Should: A Conversation with Laura Gassner Otting
    Mar 21 2025

    Are you working toward success?

    My guest on SelfWork today is a career expert - Laura Gassner Otting - I've already been influenced by her new book WonderHell in quite a wonderful way!

    Laura’s secret superpower is seeing your greatness and reflecting it back on you, so that you can get “unstuck” — and achieve extraordinary results. A regular contributor to Good Morning America, the TODAY Show, Harvard Business Review, and Oprah Daily, Laura is the Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author of three books, Wonderhell, Limitless, and Mission-Driven. I felt that power from the moment I began reading and I've found myself musing over small nuggets of her encouraging words well after I'd finished.

    When you desire and then achieve success, there are surprising and challenging things that come along with it - but this book can help you work through those things (like fear...) when they very naturally emerge.

    Advertisers Links:

    Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

    Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork
    * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
    Show more Show less
    44 mins
  • 437 SelfWork: Expectations, Demands and Boundaries: What's the Difference?
    Mar 14 2025

    Today we're going to talk about the fairly sticky subject of the difference between expectations, demands, and boundaries. In this "second time around" episode, Christine Mathias, Dr. Margaret's communication manager, lets us in to how her younger self struggled with setting good boundaries - and why this particular episode meant a lot to her.

    So, what is the difference between expectations, demands and boundaries?

    Here are some questions to ask yourself.

    What do you do when you feel disappointed by others? Do you isolate or judge? Do you get mad or sulk? Could it be that your very expectations are the problem? Is it different to voice your expectations than it is to secretly have them? Or is that playing a game that the other person doesn’t know you’re playing? And how do boundaries fit in here?

    The listener email for today is from a young 21 year-old who feels tremendous loyalty to her family and feels “needed” by them. But she also feels very stuck and admits she can hold onto a victim mentality. She’s dealing with enmeshment it sounds like.. She’s asking how she can take baby steps to start living more independently… Wonderful question and I’ll do my best to give her some ideas.

    Advertiser's Link:

    Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – a free $76 value for new trials with bonus product with your subscription!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork
    * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
    Show more Show less
    28 mins

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