The SelfWork Podcast

By: Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
  • Summary

  • I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.

    DrMargaretRutherford.com
    Show more Show less
Episodes
  • 442 SelfWork: How to Get Over the Feeling That You're Not Important
    Apr 18 2025

    Today we’re going to focus on the feeling that you're not important - a feeling likely created by how you were parented.

    How does this happen? Your parents' careers came first. The parents themselves came first for one another, only caring for the child as a secondhand and almost bothersome activity. Your being wasn’t celebrated – instead what you could achieve got some notice, as long as you continued to be successful. Your parent was overly self-involved because of their own trauma or mental illness – and never was it explained to you what was truly going on – so you believed you weren’t enough.

    At its worst, the dynamic of not feeling that you're important is rejection. At the best, it can feel like conditional love. And in between, the now adult child could feel a deep sense of emptiness and insecurity that they may seek to fill up in a myriad of ways.

    Our listener voicemail is a shocking reminder of what can happen when a parent doesn’t guide a child (no matter how old) to separate from them – to encourage them to live their own lives. But rather, instills in them at a young age that their job is to stay close to the parent. And an emotional codependence is encouraged.

    Vital Links:

    Bob Waldinger's interview on the Harvard study of happiness

    Seven steps out of enmeshment: SelfWork episode

    Advertisers Links:

    Midi Health is a women's clinic, designed specifically for women's needs, and it's likely to be covered by your insurance! Go to https://trymidi.com/selfwork and then add Save 15 for $15 off your first order!

    Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

    Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

    Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to camouflage underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by anyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
    Show more Show less
    22 mins
  • 441 SelfWork: How to Grow From Self-Doubt and Failure
    Apr 11 2025

    Today on SelfWork, we’re focusing on self-doubt and how to grow from failure. Or what you’re calling failure.

    But labeling something as a failure can be used in several different ways , can’t it? It can be motivating, or it can stop you in your tracks. It can cause tremendous embarrassment, even shame, or you can use it to grow. What you tell yourself about failure has such a strong impact on whether it leads you into depression, even apathy, or whether you take that failure in stride and integrate it – make it a part of your learning and keeping on keeping on.

    The power of self-doubt or what you tell yourself about failure is very important to whether you let those failures define you and cause you extreme self-doubt and paralysis. Or whether you accept failure – but not define yourself by it.

    The listener voicemail for today is asking about a topic that I’ve already begun as another episode! So, I’m doing some research on it as we speak. But his questions were so good – and I’m pretty sure there are many of you with similar questions about AI Companions… so let’s hear his message!

    Vital Links:

    SelfWork episode on imposter syndrome

    Jeff Haden's article on self-doubt in Inc. Magazine

    Advertisers' Links and Special Offers:

    Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

    Midi Health is a women's clinic, designed specifically for women's needs, and it's likely to be covered by your insurance! Go to https://trymidi.com/selfwork and then add Save 15 for $15 off your first order!

    Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

    Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork
    * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
    Show more Show less
    25 mins
  • 440 SelfWork: Raising Good Humans: A Conversation with Hunter Clarke-Fields
    Apr 4 2025

    One of the hardest tasks we take on as humans is raising children.

    Many of us do a pretty good job of raising children. But many of us don't. Sadly, our kids are often left to become adults themselves and bear the scars of our anger, our addictions, or our neglect. And if they don't do something differently than we did, they can perpetuate the problem.

    Raising children poorly can then be passed on. It's called transgenerational trauma. And it's very real.

    Hunter Clarke-Fields didn't want to do that. And she tells us how she recognized that her anger with her children was something she needed to change, and how mindfulness and meditation helped her do that.

    Now she wants to help you learn what's been so healing for her. Hunter is the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, number #1 bestselling author of Raising Good Humans and her newest, Raising Good Humans Every Day, and creator of the Mindful Parenting Course. She has over 20 years of experience in meditation and has taught mindful parenting to thousands worldwide.

    Advertisers Links:

    Midi Health is a women's clinic, designed specifically for women's needs, and it's likely to be covered by your insurance! Go to https://trymidi.com/selfwork and then add Save 15 for $15 off your first order!

    Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener!

    Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

    Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription!

    You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

    My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to camouflage underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by anyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

    And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




    Our Sponsors:
    * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
    * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork


    Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
    Show more Show less
    40 mins
adbl_web_global_use_to_activate_webcro768_stickypopup

What listeners say about The SelfWork Podcast

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    1
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.