Infertility & Goal Fatigue – What to Do When IVF Fails

If you’re childless after infertility and emotionally drained from years of chasing the dream of motherhood through IVF, I want you to know: you’re not alone. And what you’re feeling right now? It makes perfect sense.

You spent years setting goals—diagnosis, treatment plans, egg retrievals, embryo transfers, second opinions, supplements, side effects, losses… all in pursuit of the child you dreamed of.

But when IVF doesn’t work—and you find yourself childless after all of it—you’re left with a silent question that echoes through your mind:

Now what?

In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, I’m sharing a deeply personal moment that stopped me in my tracks—one that reminded me how so many of us are living in a state of goal fatigue without even realizing it.

It all started with one innocent, thoughtful question from my 13-year-old nephew:
“Uncle Jack, what’s your goal for this year?”

And that moment led me to a massive realization—what if we’ve been asking the wrong question all along?

✅ Why infertility turns us into high-functioning goal-chasers
✅ What “goal fatigue” looks and feels like after IVF fails
✅ Why you might feel disconnected even after big wins at work or in life
✅ How I became a workaholic after IVF ended—and still felt empty
✅ The life-changing power of asking, “How do I want to feel?”
✅ What to do if you don’t even know how you want to feel anymore

This conversation is a gentle but powerful invitation to start living from the inside out—not chasing more goals to prove your worth, but learning to feel fulfilled by who you are right now, even without the children you hoped for.

✨ Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call HERE.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, lost, or unsure of how to move forward, I’ll help you reconnect with what matters to you. No pressure. No performance. Just a clear, hope-filled starting point for your next chapter.

📘 Ready to read the book that’s helping women just like you?
Check out my new bestselling book, So Now What?—created especially for women who are childless after infertility and looking for purpose, healing, and joy beyond motherhood.
Grab your copy or download a free preview here:
👉 www.lanamanikowski.com/book

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube
📸 Connect with me on Instagram
📱 Follow along on TikTok

🎁 Don’t miss this:
The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond)
Get your free copy here.

You don’t have to chase the next big thing to feel proud of your life.
You don’t have to “move on” or pretend it doesn’t hurt.
You don’t have to keep pushing to prove that you matter.

You’re allowed to feel peace, love, purpose, and joy—even without a child.

So if IVF didn’t work and you’re wondering what now… this episode is your starting point.

Tune in.
And let’s begin—together.

If you are childless after infertility and wondering how to move forward without the future you dreamed of, this powerful conversation with Jody Day will meet you right where you are.

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to grieve childlessness and how embracing that grief can lead to deep healing, creativity, and purpose. Jody shares her personal story, her insights from years of working in the childless-not-by-choice space, and how grief can evolve from something you endure into something you grow through.

Inside this episode:

• Why grief is not an event but a skill
  
  

• What it means to experience disenfranchised grief as a childless woman
  
  

• How to feel seen in a society that avoids your pain
  
  

• What it takes to build your own support network as you age
  
  

• Why asking for help is a form of strength and connection
  
  

Unforgettable quotes from Jody Day:

• “Grief is not an event. It’s a skill.”
  
  

• “You’re not needy. You have needs. You’re human.”
  
  

• “We grieve that which we have loved.”
  
  

• “Grief is the emotion that allows us to let go of what was in order to embrace what’s next.”
  
  

• “I look back at the woman who tried so hard and say: You didn’t know more was available to you.”
  
  

Whether you are early in your grief or further down the path, this episode will remind you that you are not alone, and that you still have the power to build a life you love.

You are not too late. You are not alone.
You may be childless, but your story still matters. This episode will remind you that healing is possible, connection is available, and the life ahead of you still holds meaning.

Helpful links and resources:

🎧 Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond)

📞 Book a Free 45-Minute Thrive Call with Lana and create a personalized plan for living a fulfilling life without children

📘 Explore Jody Day’s work: Gateway Women

💌 Subscribe to her Substack: Gateway Elderwomen
📱 Follow Lana on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok

About Jody Day:

Jody is the English-Irish founder of Gateway Women, the world’s best-known support and advocacy network for childless women. Often described as the founder of the global childless movement, she is an integrative psychotherapist, two-time TEDx speaker, author, and thought leader. Her best-selling book Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children has become essential reading for women navigating life without motherhood.

Jody has been a World Childless Week Ambassador since 2017, was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013, and named a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School and was a founding board member of the UK charity Ageing Without Children. Today, she writes the popular Substack Gateway Elderwomen, which explores aging and elderhood without motherhood, and is developing her ALTERKIN Project to create local mutual-aid communities for those aging without children.

If Mother’s Day felt hard for you, you’re not alone and this week’s episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast is especially for you.

You’ve probably spent years feeling like a party of one, moving through infertility and now life without children, not sure where to go to find connection or how to create it. Maybe you’ve told yourself you should be strong enough to figure this out alone. Maybe you’ve been hiding, thinking you’re the only one whose treatments didn’t end in motherhood.

In this powerful episode, you’ll hear why connection is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. You’ll be reminded that you are not weak for wanting support. You are human, and you were never meant to do this alone.

Lana opens up about her own journey, from getting an unexplained infertility diagnosis in 2011 and hiding her pain, to walking into silence despite being someone who always had “talks too much” on her report card. You’ll hear how that silence was one of the hardest parts, and why finding your voice again starts with connection.

Lana shares what inspired her to start this podcast in 2021, why she left her 20-year corporate career to coach full time, and how her Thrive After Infertility program and The Other’s Day Brunch were created to make sure women like you never have to navigate childlessness alone.

You’ll hear about:

- What it feels like when connection feels out of reach after infertility
- Why fertility clinics gave us science but not the soul-level support we needed
- What healing starts to look like when you stop hiding
- The incredible stories of women at The Other’s Day Brunch who showed up not knowing a soul and left with new friendships
- Simple ways you can say yes to connection today . even if it starts with a coffee invite or replying to a DM

This episode is a reminder that even if your life looks different than you planned, it can still be beautiful, because you are part of it.

✨ Resource Mentioned: Download *The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) . Click here!

🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast. Your words help other women find this space.

📲 Connect with Lana on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube: @lana.manikowski
💌 Questions or feedback? Email
🌐 Learn more: www.lanamanikowski.com