This is a spoken word poem type episode.

After a lifetime of seeking external validation and love, I experienced a profound awakening where I met my authentic self and fell in love with who I truly am.

• Discovering that the part of me that was loved by my ex-wife had died after our divorce, leaving me feeling loveless
• Finding that family love helped heal me, but ultimately discovering that love exists within myself
• No longer needing to chase external love or validation from others
• Committing to strengthen spiritual growth and tune my body to its highest potential
• Stopping the fight to heal or become something different—simply living as myself
• Finding devotion to myself rather than external goals or success metrics
• Treating myself with the same loyalty, love and devotion I would give to a beloved partner
• Protecting my inner love and rooting in presence to bloom from within

Thomas and Abi explore personal transformation through the lens of trust, authenticity, and spiritual awakening, discussing how our deepest beliefs get tested during periods of change.

• The "trust muscle" and how belief becomes strongest right before it gets challenged
• How numbing behaviors like alcohol and partying can mask deeper issues during transformation
• The power of radical honesty with yourself and others as the foundation for authentic living
• What happens when people fall away as you become more authentic with yourself
• The hidden complexity beneath seemingly simple human experiences
• Creating personal ceremonies to process grief, especially after relationship endings
• Faith as a reciprocal relationship that requires nurturing and communication
• The metaphor of "dark portals" that we must cross through during transformation
• How facing your darkness actually expands your capacity for joy and growth
• The cyclical nature of spiritual development rather than linear progress

Have you ever felt the subtle pressure to be "fixed," "healed," or to present yourself as having all the answers? That pressure isn't just uncomfortable—it might be preventing your most profound transformation.

In this deeply reflective exploration, I challenge the fundamental notion that security and fixed identity represent human strength. The truth is quite the opposite: our natural state involves constant evolution, shedding masks when they no longer serve us, just as trees naturally release branches. When we grip these identities too tightly, we strangle our own becoming.

The conversation takes us through the concept of the liminal stage—that uncomfortable, ambiguous space between who we were and who we're becoming. This space appears across cultures and throughout history as a necessary phase of transformation, symbolized in everything from ancient initiation rites to Dante's dark wood. What's fascinating is how consistently these traditions incorporate voluntary discomfort as the pathway through liminality.

I share my personal journey through a profound becoming and how others have misinterpreted my openness about this process as brokenness. This misunderstanding reveals society's discomfort with authentic transformation and our collective avoidance of three essential elements: discomfort, ambiguity, and honesty what I call the "perfect trifecta" preventing transformation.

Whether you're questioning your identity, feeling lost in transition, or sensing the stirrings of personal evolution, remember: you're not broken. You're becoming. What if this moment you feel lost in is actually your next beautiful beginning? Join me in embracing the uncertain, uncomfortable magic of transformation.