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The Wizard Wheezes

The Wizard Wheezes

By: OllivandersVoices
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About this listen

A podcast for Fan Fiction Audiobooks, read by yours truly!


All recordings are created and distributed with the authors knowledge, and links to the original works will always be available in the description.


If you have created a Fan Fiction that you would like to have recorded on the show, please don't hesitate to contact me at oliversvoenquiries@gmail.com.


Theme music is:

"Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episodes
  • A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 21
    Jun 6 2025

    Chapter 21 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


    Authors Summary:

    "It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

    This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


    When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


    How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

    Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    53 mins
  • A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 20
    May 30 2025

    Chapter 20 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


    Authors Summary:

    "It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

    This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


    When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


    How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

    Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    35 mins
  • A Hard Row to Hoe - Chapter 19
    May 23 2025

    Chapter 19 of A Hard Row to Hoe by BlessdToaster


    The Fan Fiction was originally posted to Archive of Our Own, and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55745104/chapters/141512941


    Authors Summary:

    "It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

    This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.


    When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.


    How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

    Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!"


    Intro & Outro Music:

    "Not As It Seems" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License

    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/v

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 3 mins
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