FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. Needs of Kids, Part 1 Guests: Dennis and Barbara Rainey From the series: The Art of Parenting: What Kids Need (Day 2 of 3) Bob: Your kids need you to be a parent. Here’s Barbara Rainey. Barbara: I think there is a movement / I think there is a common thinking today in parents that I see that mom and dad need to be buddies with their kids—they need to be friends / they need to be pals. There’s nothing wrong with having that kind of a relationship—like if you go camping or you go to the park—you’re going to play together; you’re going to do some things together; you’re going to get down on the same level; but that isn’t the posture that you need to have, as a parent, all the time. Homes do not need to be child-centric. Homes need to be God-centric, and then mom and dad need to be in charge and directing the life of their child—not being dictated by the children. You need to train your child that he’s not the center of the universe, and that’s the difference—is helping them begin to understand that they’re not in control; they’re not in charge. 1:00 They do have needs; they do have wants; and they do have feelings; but they aren’t / don’t always have to be met immediately. Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, September 6th. Our host is Dennis Rainey, and I’m Bob Lepine. Your kids need to know that you love them, and that you care about them, and that you are their friend; but they need to know, first, that you are their parent and that you have authority over them. We’re going to talk more about that today with Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Stay with us. And welcome to FamilyLife Today. 2:00 Thanks for joining us. You know, if you stop and think about it, there is a reason that God, in His wisdom, gave kids to moms and dads. Dennis: Oh, you think? [Laughter] Why do you think He did that, Bob? Bob: Well, I’ve been reading your book; so I know the answer to why He did that. [Laughter] Kids need a mom and a dad to do what moms and dads are supposed to do so that the kids grow up with an understanding of who they are and what they are all about; don’t they? Dennis: Psalm 127, verses 3-5 say this—listen carefully—some parents who I read this to right now don’t believe this, because they have real problems with their kids—we understand that: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” 3:00 Children are a gift to be received. They are arrows to be raised; and then they are also arrows that were meant to be released. They were not designed to stay in the quiver; they were meant to be designed for a target. Bob: And if parents are going to raise their kids successfully, they need to know what their assignment is. Your wife Barbara is back again today. Barbara, welcome back to FamilyLife Today. Barbara: Thank you, Bob. Bob: Do you think most moms and dads start the parenting journey understanding what it is that they are supposed to do? Barbara: Probably not. I would say they probably have some ideas of what they want to do. I think they probably have some ideas of what they don’t want to do / what they don’t want to repeat. Most young couples come in and say, “I’m not going to do it the way my parents did,”— Bob: Right. Barbara: —or “I don’t want to do it the way I saw it done by So-and-so.” I think they have a vague, general idea; but parenting is such a hands-on learning experiencing. 4:00 I often say that a woman can read a dozen books—on how to have a baby, what’s it’s like to have a baby, what’s happening inside, what you can expect—but until she actually goes through the experience, it’s all theory. In some ways, that’s true with parenting, too; because you can read tons of books; but once you get in there—and you know who your kids are / you know who you are; and you’re beginning to figure out, “How do we work together?”—then, that’s when you really need to have practical help. Bob: My preparation for parenting happened over six summers from 1972 until 1977. Dennis: Boy Scouts? Bob: It was YMCA Camp Lakewood in Potosi, Missouri. Dennis: I was close; I was close! Bob: I was a camp counselor for many years at Camp Lakewood. As we would have kids come into the cabin, it was my job to take care of those kids for the week. I caught on: “Here’s the big idea of parenting. You want your kids to have a blast every day and sleep well at night.” [Laughter] Dennis: —“and be clothed.” 5:00 Bob: “...
