Episodes

  • 347 - Assembling a Uniform

    347 - Assembling a Uniform
    Oct 1 2024

    In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.
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    21 mins
  • 346 - Moles

    346 - Moles
    Sep 27 2024

    While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.
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    18 mins
  • 345 - An End to Violence

    345 - An End to Violence
    Sep 17 2024

    I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.
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    16 mins
  • 344 - Resume Help

    344 - Resume Help
    Aug 31 2024

    I investigate reports that Kamala Harris did not, in fact, work at McDonald's. In the process, I update my resume.
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    22 mins
  • 343 - Journalist No More?

    343 - Journalist No More?
    Aug 27 2024
    In light of recent McDonald's-related developments in presidential politics, I consider giving up my status as a journalist to become a government lackey.
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    20 mins
  • 342 - Vice Presidential Service

    342 - Vice Presidential Service
    Aug 19 2024
    While investigating reports that Vice President Kamala Harris may have worked at McDonald's, I seek valuable intelligence from another fast food chain owned and operated by nearly six guys.
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    20 mins
  • 341 - Mea Culpa

    341 - Mea Culpa
    Jul 31 2024
    While visiting the White House to lobby "lame duck" President Biden on passing executive action related to the McDonald's Pizza matter, I suffer an embarrassing accident for which I must extend a sincere mea culpa.
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    22 mins
  • 340 - Neck Noodle

    340 - Neck Noodle
    Jul 25 2024
    After a Hawaiian Breeze-scented oil explosion forces me to take several baths, my fingers become so pruny that my home security is put at risk.
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    17 mins