No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.* SocratesWhen I came across this quote as an acne-ridden teenager, it gave me an excuse. Here was one of history’s greatest thinkers, a man who spent his life in the pursuit of wisdom, insisting that neglecting the body is an affront to life itself. It resonated with me because I could intellectualize my need to look like Chris Hemsworth and the like. But before you get the wrong idea by thinking I’m a gigolo—when I say my body is “for sale,” I don’t mean in the transactional sense of sex, Instagram sponsorships or OnlyFans. I mean that my body is a product that sells my discipline, care, vanity, and fitness coaching. And yet, this journey has brought me face-to-face with the darker underbelly of external validation, the cultural distortions of beauty, and the psychological traps we all fall into when we commodify our physical selves.But first, some cultural psych. The Universality of BeautyYou might think beauty is a matter of personal taste. But research says otherwise. Studies on facial attractiveness by psychologists like Judith Langlois and David Perrett show that beauty has universal elements. Across cultures, people tend to favour:* Symmetry: It signals health and genetic fitness.* ‘Average’ Faces: Composite faces made by blending many individuals are perceived as more attractive. Evolutionary psychologists believe this is because ‘mixed people’ are more immune to diseases. * Clear Skin: A sign of vitality and youth.These findings suggest that some aspects of beauty are hardwired into our psychology, tied to evolutionary preferences for mates who signal health and reproductive success.But cultural psychology reminds us that while the foundation of beauty might be universal, the adornments vary. In East Asia, for instance, pale skin is highly prized, reflecting a history where lighter skin denoted wealth and freedom from manual labour. Meanwhile, many African cultures celebrate fuller bodies as symbols of fertility and prosperity. Beauty is both nature and nurture, universal and deeply contextual.The Beauty of Cultural DifferencesCultural psychology shows that different societies not only celebrate different ideals of beauty but also embed them with meaning.In Japan, for instance, the concept of wabi-sabi embraces imperfection and transience. A body doesn’t need to be flawless; it needs to carry the marks of a life well-lived. In contrast, Western ideals often prize youth and perfection, ideals that can leave little room for aging gracefully.What’s striking is how cultural narratives shape our relationships with our bodies. Where one society might encourage cosmetic surgery as self-care, another might celebrate the wrinkles that come with wisdom. These cultural differences remind us that beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder—it’s in our culture’s stories.The Story I Tell MyselfI’m not just lifting weights and putting them down again! I’m sculpting, bro. Just like a sculptor, the practice requires patience and discipline, but instead of a chisel, I use too many scoops of creatine. My body isn’t merely a fleshy vessel to carry me through life; it reflects the effort of my discipline!… And a dark need for external validation and people-pleasing. This mirrors my approach to writing and teaching. Writing well is enduring frustration and carving out something meaningful from chaos. To teach is to refine a lesson until it connects with someone’s mind. Both pursuits demand the same kind of persistence as physical training: showing up even when you don’t want to.And like any craft, the finished product invites a public gaze. My body is for sale in the sense that it exists in a world that values physical form, whether we like it or not. It’s a reminder of Socrates’ wisdom: the body, like the mind, is a canvas for human potential.Yet, there’s…The Narcissistic TrapIn a culture where Instagram and TikTok set the standard, the pursuit of beauty often slides into something darker. The platforms encourage us to treat our bodies not as craft but as commodities, carefully curated for likes and shares.Research from Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell on narcissism in the age of social media reveals a troubling trend: platforms that should connect us often deepen our obsession with self-image. They turn external validation into currency.Even more insidious is the way this culture impacts mental health. Studies have linked excessive social media use to body dissatisfaction, depression, and anxiety. The irony? The more we chase external validation, the emptier it feels.Selling Effort, Not PerfectionSocrates was right. To grow old without knowing what your body is capable of is a kind of tragedy. But in today’s world, the real tragedy might be growing old while obsessing over what ...
