Most of the things which stop you forgiving are not your fault. They are usually a mix of not having a clear specific method, being afraid (sometimes wisely) that someone you are trying to "forgive" will just hurt you again and the widespread unclarity and confusion around what forgiveness actually is and how it works. 

Many people feel secretly guilty and ashamed that they are no as forgiving as they believe they "should" be. Berating yourself for not being forgiving does not help you become more forgiving - just the opposite, in fact. Trying to push yourself, against your own better judgement, to "forgive" someone who has abused you in some way is not the answer either. That way you can end up in a situation where someone who has hurt you (and who has not changed in any meaningful way) can do the same thing all over again. 

We need to elevate ourselves and get a new perspective before we can adequately assess whether a particular relationship can become healthy and beneficial to both people, or not. We also need to understand that: Forgiveness can include 'Goodbye'. Above all we need to realize that blaming ourselves for our inability to forgive, and assuming that something is wrong with us because we can't forgive (or can't do it very well), is usually pointless and self-defeating.

In this episode we explore some of the common blocks which could get in the way of you being able to forgive and how to handle those blocks so you can learn to forgive and enjoy all the wonderful benefits (happiness, peace of mind, freedom) that forgiveness brings.