Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

By: YMH Studios
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  • Summary

  • Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!
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Episodes
  • Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806

    Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
    Apr 16 2025
    Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code BURNING. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. It’s a big week in the Mommy Dome — Tommy Smurfday and Christina P kick things off with a beautiful clip reminding us that fisting is more than a hobby — it’s an identity. That flows nicely into some stories from a Por Osos gay bar takeover where Tom was apparently the belle of the very gay ball. Meanwhile, CP confesses she had a dream that Tom adopted a selfishly sinful life that involved slurping white, kinky clubbing, and hanging out with Charlize Theron. Then it’s time for a call with Tony Johns, who updates the Mommies on why he got kicked out of a local dive bar, his new OnlyFans photo hustle, and his upcoming scene with Alexis Fawx. Speaking of MILFs, Mother’s Day is around the corner, so consider grabbing one of Mommy Christina's latest lipsticks for that special broad in your life. We also get an Enny story about his dream girl who ruined it all with a single turd, and a deep dive into some toxic clips, some ladyboy goodness, and a TikTok buffet featuring sprite burps, gendered hair, buttered bread, tapi tapi, and a man with underwear on his head who may or may not be a genius. Plus Christina presents a dealbreaker scenario with a nudist and an environmentalist. This one’s packed tighter than a stuffed pet collection. Your Mom’s House Ep. 806 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 5/18/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:00 - Happy Smurfday 00:08:47 - Opening Clip: Brolapse 00:18:24 - Gay Bar Takeover & Christina's Dream 00:24:51 - Tony Johns Update 00:30:50 - Straight From The Worker's Mouth 00:40:51 - Mother's Day Lipstick Plug 00:41:19 - Clip: Different Level Woman 00:45:13 - Clip: Shopping For Cuties 00:47:44 - Nudist or Environmentalist? 00:52:11 - Enny's Inner Thoughts 00:59:17 - Christina's Curations 01:09:58 - Clip: Gender Affirming Pet Haircuts 01:11:15 - Clip: Masked Amigo 01:13:48 - Closing Song - "Let's Go Water Champ Tommy Buns Mix" by Sweet Mitchel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 16 mins
  • Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805

    Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
    Apr 9 2025
    Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at https://drinktrade.com/YMH. Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at http://TRUEWERK.com/ymh. You can find Cremo’s new line of antiperspirants and deodorants at Target or https://Target.com This week on Your Mom’s House, it’s just the Main Mommies in the saddle — and things get deeply personal and deeply disgusting. Tina gives us the full rundown on her recent colonoscopy journey, while a slightly jealous Tom has really leaned into his gross dad era — spitting loogies out the car window like an old Chinese man (Christine's words, not mine) and upping his fart game to unacceptable levels. They also give a brief review of The Minecraft Movie, praise Jason Mamoa, and discuss the rise of low-IQ adults on TikTok, and get into the latest unhinged chapter in the Tony Johns saga — this week included a landlord braw, an hour long arrest, and a little sledgehammering. Plus, the Mommies revisit the legendary RPC’s Instagram for a reboot of an old classic clip, watch some horrible or hilarious videos, get re-acquainted with the Alaskan Avenger, and Tom shows some wild glove art from his show in Oklahoma City. Grab your bidet, lower your IQ, and let’s get weird. Your Mom’s House Ep. 805 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:15 - Tina's Colonoscopy 00:06:39 - Disgusting Habits 00:13:10 - Opening Clip: Enny's Inner Thoughts 00:22:01 - Clip: Smelly Flatulence 00:26:36 - RPC: Rebooted 00:36:03 - Minecraft Movie & Low-IQ Adults 00:42:43 - Tony Johns 00:47:53 - Clip: Soft Security 00:49:07 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:53:00 - Spring Jackets 00:59:56 - The Alaskan Avenger 01:04:49 - Clip: Precious Man-Baby 01:08:01 - Clip: Water Cannons Are Scary 01:09:50 - Tour Dates 01:10:44 - Glove Actually 01:13:33 - Closing Song -"F.A.R.T." by Billy Robot Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 18 mins
  • A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

    A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
    Apr 2 2025
    Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40 and then shares some stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it! Your Mom’s House Ep. 804 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies 00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden 00:13:36 - European Public Toilets 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield 00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants 00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins 00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage 00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth 00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie 00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns 01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight 01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories 01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True 01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face 01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups 01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs 01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs 01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech 01:33:38 - Wrap Up 01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 hr and 41 mins
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where the bodies g?

just one question, where the bodies g? and one more question, bodies g! where are they!!??

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I want it right now!

hey marc give it to me! I want it right now! give it to me marc , give it to me mark!

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Don't be stingy!!!

You bet I'm coming up in may!!!! Keep them jeans high and tight!!! BIKES!!!!!!

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Touch my camera through the fence you f—

The main mommies are always making sure my jeans are high and tight. Quality content that I look forward to every week!

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Hi Hitler!

Been a long-time mommy and have never been let down by a single episode, makes me c*m in 4 strokes every time.

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Keeping it high and tight

If you want a good laugh listen to this podcast don't be stingy with you review help Todd get a dental dam so Christine will eat his scrum, you know im coming up in May

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Daily Inspiration

An excellent SFW podcast. It's a wholesome show hosted by sweet "mommies" that will surely brighten your day. Even better watching it with family

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my your momma's house reference quote

I'll never stop feathering it keeping it high and tight while touching my camera through the fence you fagget if you cum on me piss on me beat me I'm fore sure coming up in may driving my fed smoker with my Jeans and Mommies

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queens above 18

keep feathering it brother and always watch for wasps and your genes high and tight

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