A part of me that I've been battling to show is the side that has been perceived as crazy. It's been used against me to label me as words like "freak" and "psycho" and all those nasty words, but the truth is, it's part of me, my process, and my soul. I do things in my way because I know what works for me, and that also takes A LOT of practice and trial and error.

So, is my crazy actually crazy? In my eyes, no, but letting go of the fear of being seen means letting go of the fear of being perceived. I'll let you decide. I like to "feel big" and understand the feelings, but it takes a lot of reaching at straws when feelings come for your ego and egoic beliefs, so I give myself grace. My feelings have led me here, and that takes being able to feel them more than fear them, by seeing my feelings for what they are, and to see that the way I envision it tells me about the truth on my perception of my feelings...

Like this one: freedom

I perceived my freedom as something mythical, one that is in books and stories; I perceived it as impossible, yet I've felt it. Here is the dissonance between my soul and ego, there, to me, lies the key. I see my freedom and happiness as impossible in the worldview I have adopted to this point, so you know what? CHANGE IT (is what I tell myself).

It's not as crazy to me because it leads me through the unknown, towards greater happiness, by fine tuning my worldly perception to match the soul. That takes bold moves that aren't as bold when they are exactly what the feeling is guiding me to do. By following one outlet of this feeling, I am shown so many options on how to bring more reality to my egoic perception of my freedom by actually practicing it in real life.

No, I am not going to be a woodland creature/nymph; I am going to create more, follow this feeling, because the perception ALSO showed me that this was a space of unlimited potential, abundance, and the freedom to CREATE. It was a playground for creation, and while it was also perceived as something intangible, it still showed me the keys to how I move next.

Crazy or crazy intuitive? Crazy or emotional intelligence? Your move, but it doesn't change the fact that this is what works for me.

The truth about showing all of the parts of me is that they're not up for debate, this is me sharing something I love about myself again, knowing it has brought me much pain in the past, but that was when I cared.

So, what if I could just be seen for all of me? No, I am allowing myself to be seen for all of me.

That's the answer!

I love you!

insta: nathalieswenson

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youtube: nathaliemaybe (is it still NatTheCat lol, don't know, but will check in tomorrow)

email: nathalie@thisilent.com