Is marriage the pinnacle of success—or just more unpaid labor dressed up in paperwork? In this final Sex Work VS miniseries episode, I get personal about my own marriages and question what we’re really chasing when we romanticize commitment. Sex work gave me the distance to see it differently: the self-absorbed oxytocin highs, the cultural expectations, and the silent costs of being a “good partner.” If you’ve ever second-guessed the path laid out for you, this one’s for you.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/evaoh

More on Eva Oh: https://eva-oh.com

HIGHLIGHTS:

Here are the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.

(00:00) - Welcome. What is #teakink

(00:21) - Sex Work VS Marriage

(02:05) - Paperwork and More Unpaid Labour

(03:10) - My Marriages

(04:20) - Unpack Marriage as a Measure of Success

(08:20) - Sex Work Has Given Me Freedom from the Cycle

(11:08) - The Miniseries Recap: Self-absorbed Oxytocin Rides VS Regretting a Life

(14:20) - Thank You Sex Work!

What’s the difference between being paid for your emotional labor and giving it away for free? In this episode of the Sex Work VS miniseries, I explore how sex work reshaped my approach to relationships. From unreciprocated efforts with cis-het men to the gratitude that comes with being paid, I reflect love, and raising my standards. We’ll talk about oxytocin, one-sided coaching, the myth of romantic stability—and why financial independence feels far more secure. This isn’t about giving up on intimacy. It’s about knowing your worth, and deciding who (or what) deserves your time.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/evaoh

More on Eva Oh: https://eva-oh.com

HIGHLIGHTS:

Here are the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.

(00:00) - Welcome. What is #teakink

(00:21) - Sex Work VS Relationships

(01:05) - The 'Natural' Progression, Dating to Relationship?

(02:15) - What I Would Need from a Relationship

(03:40) - The Societal Expectation of Having a Relationship

(07:10) - Being Taken for Granted

(09:10) - The Advantage of Paid VS Unpaid Emotional and Sexual Labour

(10:30) - One-sided Efforts when Engaging with Cis-het Men

(13:25) - Improving My Standards, Does it Help or Hinder

(15:40) - Getting Paid for the Usual Coaching of Men

(16:40) - The Exchange of Money Encourages Gratitude

(20:40) - Honing the Art of Relating and the Benefits of Getting Paid for It

(23:15) - Relationship Stability is not a Given, your Financial Independence can be

(24:50) - Do I Want to Spend My Life on Unworthy Pursuits and People?

(25:50) - Falling in Love as a Skill Learned through Sex Work

(26:55) - Friendships with Sex Workers as the Gold Standard

(27:45) - The Need for Reciprocation

(28:55) - What Cis-het Men Could Offer if Not My Gold Standard, Money and Connections

Dating apps. New relationship energy. Getting paid for your time. In this first episode of the Sex Work VS miniseries, I explore how sex work reshaped my expectations of dating, romance, and emotional labor. From valuing my time to filtering partners like my client applicants, I unpack why I still date—and what I refuse to give away for free.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/evaoh

More on Eva Oh: https://eva-oh.com

HIGHLIGHTS:

Here are the timestamps for the episode. On some podcast players you should be able to click the timestamp to jump to that time.

(00:00) - Welcome. What is #teakink

(00:21) - Sex Work VS Dating

(01:20) - A Changed Dating (App) Landscape, but Similar Motivations?

(02:50) - The Emotional Benefits of Both

(04:50) - How Getting Paid Taught Me About My Value and Gave Me Choice

(06:30) - Why I Still Date (for free); Entertainment and Aesthetic

(08:42) - How I Keep Dating Relevant in a Frivolous Culture

(11:05) - My Dating Application Process

(13:55) - The Disadvantage of Unpaid Dating Labour

(15:15) - Oxytocin, New Relationship Energy and Infatuation

(17:00) - The 'Neatness' of Getting Paid

(17:40) - Wasting My Resource and Being Valued

(20:00) - A Cis-Het Lens Focus, for now