• the scariest thing i can be is myself

  • Nov 3 2024
  • Length: 44 mins
  • Podcast

the scariest thing i can be is myself

  • Summary

  • To preface, all the discussions of my personal dialogues to my inner conversations of detachment, objectivity, reflection, and essentially, a humbling and grounding in truth, are ALL practices I have done with myself. I see and act as I do with myself. Yes, I am constantly grounding and catalyzing myself in this cut throat way. Yes, I openly detach and realign myself by being this hard on myself. I am even extremely hard on myself, mainly because the standards I set for myself are exponentially exaggerated in contrast to what I cannot control (anything outside of my energy). With myself, this is how I practice the art of constant expansion and openness, for the sake of perspective and respect for my gifts and skills. When I say I do not care, I mean that focusing on what I cannot control is dead weight on my energy when I could be sharpening my tools, which is in my control. I expect greatness for myself only, therefore my standards must be higher and constantly reassessed, humbled, and open for questioning in order to make it stronger and more versatile and adaptable. This is my empire, the way I rule myself as I am all I can control.

    ...

    The need for the ego is essentially for the essence of expression. I have understood and broken through the layers of my past limiting beliefs that catered to an imbalanced egoic expression of such lack. When I have been building my ego after the deconstruction of my held beliefs, I have learned that the aligned expression of my new belief systems encourage freedom, expansion, and showing all parts of my soul.

    I have been described as a black cat, and I take that as a compliment. It has been interesting to see the reactions my newfound aligned ego to receive a further reflection of "scary, intimidating" when in reality, my intentions are to flow freely without obstacle, to allow my capacity to be seen, and to allow again all parts of myself to play and be seen. These facets of my ego are all the frequencies of my resonance presenting itself and played to match the rhythm of the environment, like an instrument.

    Caring about what I cannot control, like the perception of my energy, does not affect me, yet is another opportunity of observational study. In the reflection of my energy, I am able to detach from the emotional attachments of "worth" and "measurements" in order to see the attachments as a reflection of the energetic path of the environment and use it in order to release other reactants in order to portray my intention of "growth" and "expansion". Once I pursue the analysis and give the energy the elements it needs to cater a new reaction, I am not attached to how it is being perceived yet trusting that what I am doing is the highest form of love, one that catalyzes the deconstruction of a limiting belief. This is not something that is my responsibility, therefore, my intent is fulfilled and that is out of my control. I am not sorry, but instead it is a love for the environment's expansion by catalyzing it towards its potential, for me, it's practicing a skill that I use to fulfill my soul purpose.

    With me, remember, it's not personal, instead, it is intended to catalyze you to see your potential more. How? By catalyzing the chaos or, objectively, the essential deconstruction of what is holding you back from seeing your soul path. This practice expands my own understanding of my tools and how to use them. This is a mutually beneficial intent I hold, and to me, that makes sense.

    I love you;)

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    email: nathalie@thisilent.com

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