Sports Humor

In sports, everybody loves redemption stories, the underdog who no one believes in but through sheer hard work wins it all. But no one tells the stories of the players who work hard and don’t make it. In pro football, 53 guys get on the roster. Ten make it to the practice squad. And then there’s the 64th Man - that’s Billy Logan (Cena), who seems to always be one spot from glory.

Rick Dockery was the third-string quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. In a championship game, to the surprise and dismay of everyone, Rick actually got into the game and then provided what was arguably the worst single performance in the history of the NFL. Overnight, he became a national laughingstock and, of course, was immediately cut by the Browns and shunned by all other teams. But against enormous odds, Arnie finally locates another team that will have him: the mighty Panthers of Parma, Italy.

Life is going pretty well for Raymond "Stick" Hart. He's happily married to the former Ponkaquogue Municipal Golf Club assistant pro, the beauteous Cajun firecracker Dannie, raising his rambunctious son, Charlie, and getting by writing smart-mouthed greeting cards for 50 bucks a pop. Then, one disaster of a day, Stick's world does a 10-car pile-up. Luckily, Stick has a solution to all his problems. He'll qualify for the British Open.

Dan Jenkins, sports novelist and writer for Golf Digest, continues the story of Bobby Joe Grooves in Slim and None.

The aging pro-golfer is now 44, and he just has to win a major this time around. Since the days when golfing was done with a shepherd's crook, only seven men have won a major after the age of 44. Bobby Joe figures his chances are slim and none.

The third book in the #1 New York Times best-selling series from Jeff Kinney, The Last Straw is sure to please young readers. Greg Heffley makes a New Year's resolution to help others improve, but his brand of truthful advice doesn't go over well. Plus, Greg's dad thinks military school might be just the attitude adjustment Greg needs.

I just want to be naughty for one night of my life. I think I’d be really good at it... I need to escape. I’m a bad girl trapped in a good girl’s body. Perfect grades, star volleyball player, lead in the drama club. I know it’ll lead to a great career. But I need more. Just one night. In Ireland. On St. Patrick’s Day. Thousands of miles away from anyone who knows me. That’s how I met Dare Mackenzie. With fire in his emerald eyes, sinful promises on his lips. And an accent as intoxicating as the darkest stout. He keeps saying I’m too sweet, too innocent, too good. I dare you, ...

Sixth-grader Milo Neal plans to do a science project on "The Complete Life Cycle of a Link in the Food Chain". But when he brings his specimen - a baby chick - to class, everyone falls in love with the cute ball of fluff. Soon she has a name: Henrietta. Not only is Henrietta the class pet, she's even chosen as mascot for the school hockey team! How can Milo finish his project, which calls for frying up his specimen and serving it to the judges of the science fair?

Carter Jones is astonished early one morning when he finds a real English butler, bowler hat and all, on the doorstep - one who stays to help the Jones family, which is a little bit broken. In addition to figuring out middle school, Carter has to adjust to the unwelcome presence of this new know-it-all adult in his life and navigate the butler's notions of decorum. And ultimately, when his burden of grief and anger from the past can no longer be ignored, Carter learns that a burden becomes lighter when it is shared.

Tanner Holt neither wants nor needs a wife. For the wealthy rancher, his daughter Chloe, foreman Josiah, and ranch hands are all the family he needs. Chloe Holt loves her dad, but she needs a mom. So, armed with her dad’s credit card, the ten-year-old finds them the perfect wife and mother. Hopefully, the pretty lady with the kind eyes will give them a chance… and her dad won’t ground her for life! Heather Ayer is down on her luck and has just done the craziest thing. She applied to a mail-order bride agency. Marrying a man she’s never met is crazy. Then again, maybe it’s the ...

Mickey and the gang head to Italy to compete in the Race for the Rigatoni Ribbon. Between the stiff competition and a giant runaway meatball, do the Roadster Racers have a chance at winning the race?

I was fake dating the Grumpy Quarterback only as a friendly gesture. To escape my ex, I pretended to kiss Adam I didn’t mind that he was my grumpy next-door neighbor We agreed to a fake engagement to boost his image and keep my ex away. As a lawyer, I ensured our fake dating contract was legit. All business, no feelings attached—or so I thought. When an NFL sponsor gave us an engagement trip to his resort, our connection developed quicker than a fourth-quarter comeback. With our pretend dates, long walks, and even little kisses, our hearts had turned friendship into love. Do we fumble ...

Seventh on Sports Illustrated's Top 100 Sports Books of All Time, Dan Jenkins' Semi-Tough is a raucous, politically incorrect football spoof starring New York Giants' redneck star Billy Clyde Puckett. As Puckett records the outrageous buildup to his team's Super Bowl clash with cross-town rivals the Jets, his best friend's voluptuous main squeeze puts some knee-buckling moves on him that he finds difficult to dodge.

Legendary golf writer Dan Jenkins’s latest has been praised as “catnip for golf lovers” by Publishers Weekly. He delights with this hilarious sporting spoof of the PGA tour. Golf pro Bobby Joe Grooves is on a mission to qualify for the Ryder Cup team, but first he has to contend with his rival Knut Thorssun: “Knut the Nuke.”

Michael Long is damaged. Broken. Dangerous. And the scars run deep. The only time his bear emerges is to viciously maim and kill. So when his mate shows up, right there on his family’s ranch, his only course of action is to avoid her. Daisy Hawkins is unavoidable. The kindergarten teacher may be as sweet as her name implies, but Daisy won’t take no for an answer. She’s not sure what comes over her when she set eyes on the tall, muscular rancher but so what if she’s never hit on a man before? Michael Long is the hottest man she’s ever seen. *BOOKS IN THIS SERIES INCLUDE:* Rancher ...

Author Paul Torday makes his debut with this clever absurdist novel. Fisheries scientist Dr. Alfred Jones is approached by an extravagantly wealthy sheik with a novel plan. To foster goodwill, the sheik would like to introduce salmon fishing to Yemen - the same Yemen that is largely a desert - and politicians think it's a great idea.

Sometimes the search leads right back home. Sammie Delaney has worked her butt off to become a U.S. Marshal. But her last case has left her reeling. After her partner and their witnesses are murdered in cold blood, she's left with a frightened four-year-old boy. Only, he’s not currently a boy. The kid’s transformed himself into a bear cub. To help him, she needs to find answers. Starting with Lucas Long, who may or may not be the boy's father. *BOOKS IN THIS SERIES INCLUDE:* Rancher Bear’s Baby Rancher Bear’s Mail Order Mate Rancher Bear’s Surprise Package Rancher Bear's Secret ...

Twelve-year-old Ben Ripley is not exactly the best student spy school has ever seen - he keeps flunking Advanced Self Preservation. But outside of class, Ben is pretty great at staying alive. His enemies have kidnapped him, shot at him, locked him in a room with a ticking time bomb, and even tried to blow him up with missiles. And he's survived every time. After all that unexpected success, the CIA has decided to activate Ben for real.

Bear shifter, Derek Holt, has finally achieved the pinnacle of fame as a platinum country recording artist. He just never thought it would leave him feeling so hollow inside. He knows just the woman who could fill his empty void, his assistant Red. But women like Red aren’t for men like him. As a single mom, the last thing Audrey Reid, a.k.a Red needs is a party guy like Derek Holt in her life. If only her brain could convince her heart to let go. This “babysitting” gig—accompanying Derek back to Jackson Valley to keep an eye on him—might make it harder than she thought to keep a ...

This sexy heartbreaker has eyes for just one woman… Quiet, introverted, curvy, and a little obsessed with bears, Brianna Asbury has gone more than her share of rounds in the dating ring to no avail. She hasn’t completely given up hope, but why can’t she ever be attracted to a nice guy? When she meets Byron Varga, he’s easily the hottest man she’s ever seen. Too bad he’s got heartbreaker written all over him. Byron Varga knows he’s a screw up. Most of his life is spent either trying to control his bear, or trying to clean up the messes his bear gets him into. When he meets ...

Someone's bound to get burned John Long’s girlfriend—socialite Mandy Scott—has finally agreed to move to his family’s ranch and give the simple life a chance. Everything is going according to plan. Until he meets Mandy’s assistant, Bunny St. John, his fated mate. Bunny’s divorce papers are barely dry. She’s fed up with men, doubly fed up with bear shifters, and doesn’t care one iota about this whole ‘mate’ crap. She’s not letting any man into her life, especially not John Long. But the two can only dance around the flames of desire for so long, though, before someone ...