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Alien Abduction for Beginners
- The Intergalactic Guide to Humans
- Narrated by: Bridget Bordeaux, Jake Bordeaux
- Length: 2 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
Not all aliens are good at abducting humans.
Havel, Matar and Xil have failed too many times to count. Luckily, there’s help available for failed kidnappers: a diploma offered by the Intergalactic University. To complete their course, these three sexy aliens need to abduct a human female - and they’re graded on it.
The problem is, the human female has no intentions of being abducted, not even to help them get the universe’s most recognised abduction qualification.
A hilarious sci-fi reverse harem with clueless aliens and the human woman they’re trying to seduce (and probe). Beware, these aliens have fangs and tails and are ready to put them to good use.
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These books are not for anyone who like strong female characters
- By Nanette Tropeano on 08-01-21
By: Roxie Ray
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Cathian
- By: Laurann Dohner
- Narrated by: Callie Dalton
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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When Nara Barns and her tiny crew find themselves with a choice between jail or the sex-slave auction block, it’s an easy choice. Especially when they plan to escape their buyers as soon as possible, anyway. Even better, Nara’s buyer wants her for just six days, long enough to get him through his heat until women from his planet can come to his aid. Six days and then freedom? Sign her up. However, Nara’s completely unprepared for the impact Captain Cathian Vellar has on her body.
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Cathian
- By whatcha.listening.to on 10-06-19
By: Laurann Dohner
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Ashes of Memory
- Dragon Magic, Book 1
- By: Jill Haven, Aiden Bates
- Narrated by: Zachary Zaba
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, I tried to do the impossible, defying my leaders and facing off with a dark mage in the hope of saving Tam and his fellow dragons. It ended with me barely alive, and it took me a year to recover. There was a spark between Tam and I, the promise of a mating bond, but that was ripped from us along with the rest of the tragedy.
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Great Series!
- By Mary on 07-02-20
By: Jill Haven, and others
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Cyborgs on Mars: The First Collection
- Books 1-3
- By: Honey Phillips
- Narrated by: Eve Leonard, Rock Engle, Brooke Hayden, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Earth Government turned soldiers into cyborgs to terraform Mars. After a decade of hard, lonely work they are little more than the machines as which they are treated—until the arrival of female settlers awakens feelings they have almost forgotten....
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Cyborgs & girls with names ending in “ee”
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 03-29-22
By: Honey Phillips
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To Be Taught, If Fortunate
- By: Becky Chambers
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the turn of the 22nd century, scientists make a breakthrough in human spaceflight. Through a revolutionary method known as somaforming, astronauts can survive in hostile environments off Earth using synthetic biological supplementations. With the fragility of the body no longer a limiting factor, human beings are at last able to journey to neighboring exoplanets long known to harbor life. A team of these explorers, Ariadne O’Neill and her three crewmates, are hard at work in a planetary system 15 light-years from Sol, on a mission to ecologically survey four habitable worlds.
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"Gay & Lesbian"?!? This is solid Sci-Fi
- By Jennifer on 09-16-19
By: Becky Chambers
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You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
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Victories Greater than Death
- Universal Expansion, Book 1
- By: Charlie Jane Anders
- Narrated by: Hynden Walch
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Tina never worries about being 'ordinary' - she doesn't have to, since she's known practically forever that she's not just Tina Mains, average teenager and beloved daughter. She's also the keeper of an interplanetary rescue beacon, and one day soon, it's going to activate, and then her dreams of saving all the worlds and adventuring among the stars will finally be possible.
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There has never been a more annoying narrator to exist
- By Megan on 04-13-21
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Marsbound
- By: Joe Haldeman
- Narrated by: Liza Kaplan
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Young Carmen Dula and her family are about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime - they're going to Mars. Once on the Red Planet, however, Carmen realizes things are not so different from Earth. There are chores to do, lessons to learn, and oppressive authority figures to rebel against.
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Meh.
- By Wes Parker on 03-19-09
By: Joe Haldeman
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Variable Star
- By: Robert A. Heinlein, Spider Robinson
- Narrated by: Spider Robinson
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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At his death in 1988, Robert A. Heinlein left a legacy that almost single-handedly defined modern science fiction. But one of Heinlein's masterpieces was never finished. In 1955, he began work on Variable Star, a powerful and passionate tale of two young lovers driven apart by pride, power, and the vastness of interstellar time and space. Now, the Heinlein estate has authorized award-winning author Spider Robinson to expand his outline into a full-length novel. And the result is vintage Heinlein.
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Spider WHO
- By Randall on 04-25-09
By: Robert A. Heinlein, and others
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Good Deeds
- By: Kathryn Moon
- Narrated by: Cassandra Medcalf, Jarman Day
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Nötchka Uumian, solo-scavenger and pilot, only came to Bandalier for business. But when her first ever heat cycle hits, she has two choices: Get off the planet or find somewhere safe to ride out the heatburns. Determined to never end up mated and trapped in a kitchen, she heads into the Droid district. You can’t mate if the other person isn’t an organic, right?
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Loved this book!
- By Jess Awad on 03-18-23
By: Kathryn Moon
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Survival
- Species Imperative, Book 1
- By: Julie E. Czerneda
- Narrated by: Angele Masters
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Herself a biologist, Julie E. Czerneda has earned a reputation in science fiction circles for her ability to create beautifully crafted, imaginative, yet believably realized alien races. In Survival, the first novel in her new series, Species Imperative, she draws upon this talent to build races, characters, and a universe which will draw listeners into a magnificent tale of interstellar intrigue, as an Earth scientist is caught up in a terrifying interspecies conflict.
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I study salmon!
- By Amazon Customer on 03-05-20
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How to Date a Dragon
- A Here Be Dragons Prequel
- By: Louisa Masters
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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My whole life, I thought dragons were majestic, wise, and fearsome creatures. Not to mention fictional. It's been less than a year since that last belief was debunked. Dragons are real, they're now living among us, and I'm the lucky realtor who gets to sell a house to their leader. I just have to impress his representative first. No problem—I'm a professional. Except the dragon rep turns out to be the guy I hooked up with last night, and he's fast disproving everything I believed about dragons. Unless "wise" actually means "addicted to glitter."
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So much love!
- By JW on 05-01-24
By: Louisa Masters
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Black Phoenix
- By: Wayne Wightman, B. V. Larson
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Earth’s first colony ship finally reaches the target world. The excitement of planetfall is indescribable, but quickly transforms into sick disappointment when they find the atmosphere is a roiling mass of hydrochloric acid, carbon dioxide, and other deadly poisons. They fly onward, seeking better planets. They find them, but none are ideal. The search goes on for a century, then longer still. As they move farther from Earth, aliens discover the intruding ship, and they begin to investigate humanity. They find our species unacceptable.
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Uggggh
- By JonH on 09-20-19
By: Wayne Wightman, and others
What listeners say about Alien Abduction for Beginners
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- jlynnmurphy
- 04-16-21
Delightful
This is a sweet charming little sci fi romance nugget. Very light and humorous. I enjoyed it a lot and will read more.
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- Biggs_bookshelf
- 01-16-22
Adorable and funny
Who knew there was a school for alien abductions. After botching multiple kidnappings Havel, Matar and Xil join the intergalactic university to learn how not to be a disgrace. Each chapters based on a lesson which keeps the book flowing. It’s humors especially as they bumble through the lesson on probing. Over all it’s fun. It’s a silly alien space romance with slap stick humor and cross species miscommunications. It ends at a natural stopping point for the next book to begin and I think could use some finessing to smooth out some jagged edges but I’m intrigued so I’ll keep listening.
Speaking of listening. I am reviewing the audiobook version. I loved the narrators. The sound was smooth and crisp and no matter the device I never heard any issues. The narration was amazing and even with three main male characters you could always tell who was speaking. There’s great inflection and these two are fabulous with the spicy scenes! Upped the star rating in my opinion!
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- Ravens9308
- 04-07-24
Not sure about the narration TBH
I was looking for a shorter funny audiobook after I had listened to some heavier ones and I was hoping this would be it but unfortunately fell flat for me and I think it was more because of the narration instead of the storyline.
I thought the idea for the story was funny, some of the jokes didnt hit home for me but some did so it was enjoyable. I was confused how it got so heated so quickly when she was so against it and was scared in the beginning. I know it’s fiction but there really wasn't a transition for me so I couldnt get sucked into the story enough. Like she didnt make them earn her trust, get to know them before she got all hot for them and wanted them to do more to her, if that makes sense. I did like how almost golden retrievers the aliens were haha. I loved the confusion they had with some earth mannerisms and sayings, them doing their “research” and the watching shows 😉 and holding hands and opening doors haha IYKYK. Again the concept was funny and I enjoyed most of it.
Narration was off for me. I usually like this couple who narrate a lot of RH books but I am not sure, they didnt help connect me to the characters. It made some jokes not land and just overall made some cringey moments for me. I don’t think they did anything particularly wrong, I just think how they narrate (they both had instances of this) made some things very OTT when it shouldn’t have been dialed down a bit. Probably more personal preference because again I normally enjoy any book they narrate.
I do have the next audiobook, will see if I want to continue listening or try reading the next one to see how it changes my perspective.
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- R and N. Ukiah
- 04-01-21
Alien Porn
This book is over the top porn wise.. ;Sad.. don't bother I can't recommend it for kids of any age. Kind of nasty Period!!
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1 person found this helpful