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Stiff Things
- The Splatterporn Anthology
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
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Publisher's summary
Don't get any on you.
When Comet Press put out the call for submissions for Stiff Things, we said we were ready to ratchet up the eroticism and visceral intensity with hardcore stories that penetrate new depths of psychosexual horror.
But we weren't as ready as we thought we were for the extreme stuff that came flooding in on waves of blood and other bodily fluids we won't mention here. Not that we're complaining.
In other words, we got what we wished for...and more. So much more that calling it an anthology of erotic horror was no longer strong enough.
The stories themselves dictated a new title. And so here are the stories for this upcoming release with a more apt title:
Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology
Modern Celebrity, by Brandon Ford Suckers, by Cori Vidae and Brian Rosenberger One Ear, Always to the Land of the Dead, by Olive Whittier Godf---ed, by Tanker Ray The Solution, by Kristopher Triana Hunter's Moon, by S.C. Hayden If My Face Were Transparent, You'd See the Devil, by Eric LaRocca Charlotte the Harlot, by Shequila Rayne The Penis of the Marquis de Sade, by Andrew Darlington The Extra Mile, by Paul AllihListeners also enjoyed...
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Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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Wynonna Earp
- Tales from Purgatory
- By: Emily Andras
- Narrated by: Melanie Scrofano, Tim Rozon, Dom Provost-Chalkley, and others
- Length: 4 hrs
- Original Recording
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Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
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Happy #Earper ☺️
- By Kate Skidmore on 10-17-24
By: Emily Andras
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Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
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Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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What a silly and sweet quick listen!
- By Geoffrey Christian on 10-08-24
By: John Scalzi
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George Orwell’s 1984
- An Audible Original adaptation
- By: George Orwell, Joe White - adaptation
- Narrated by: Andrew Garfield, Cynthia Erivo, Andrew Scott, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
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It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
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In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
What listeners say about Stiff Things
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- mel
- 11-11-16
Edward Lee worthy
Although not written by Edward Lee it was very comparable. Gory, explicit, sickening at times, just down right wrong on many levels! I ,however enjoy these kind of stories tremendously so was thrilled. My only complaint is that it ended so soon, I wanted more stories! Splatterporn is the only fitting name so if that gross or offensive to you , don't read this. This book was gifted to me by the author for an honest review and I loved it but, I guess I'm a little twisted :-). Happy readings.
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3 people found this helpful
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- E. Anderson
- 11-25-16
Fun if you like a little sick in your life...
I was warned that this was going to be very disturbing but it wasn't too gnarly.
Most of the stories were good. They are pretty typical horror anthology topics presented in an "extreme" fashion.
The narration was excellent, and i'm not just saying that because this audiobook was given by the narrator at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review via Audiobook Boom
Overall: If you understand this isn't Stephen King or Dean Koontz, you'll gave a good time.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Bill
- 11-08-16
This ain't no feel good rom-com. That's for sure!
*I received a review audio copy of this work from the narrator in exchange for an honest review.
When searching for something that I want to read or listen to, I am not sure what it says about me that I see the title “Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology” and am instantly thinking to myself “Hey, that sounds f*cking great!” My wife would be horrified. Oh, well…she married me. I am equally horrified when she picks up one of her fluffy, lovey, romance novels. Which is exactly what Stiff Things is - a feel good rom-com, except with much more bodily fluid and gore and with zero of the “feel good romance” part. Unless, you count necrophilia, rape, mutilation and torture, to be romance.
I have not heard of most of the authors in this collection and I always find that to be a hit or miss scenario for me, but ST pulls it off and now I have a few new-to-me authors to keep an eye out for. As for the stories themselves, there were some tales that I enjoyed more than others, but overall it was a well put together and entertaining range of format and styles. All of them worthy of the “splatterporn” title.
It has got to be hard to narrate a collection like this one without either laughing or puking. I am a fan of Joe Hemple and he shines in this kind of environment and does not shrink away from doing an audio that must have been extremely difficult at times. Thanks for the review copy, Joe! I can only wonder what others around me would be thinking if they could hear what I was listening to in my car.
If you like your dark fiction a wee messy and a whole lot of dark, this one might be your huckleberry. I am giving this one 3.5 Stars! Good, not great, but worth your time to check out some new up and coming authors. No pun intended.
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2 people found this helpful
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- NC Coach
- 09-12-22
Disturbing at times
The narrator is excellent. The stories vary in quality but the are a few that were memorable. Not for the squeamish or easily offended, but you should be able to tell that by the name.
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- willee
- 11-03-16
Sadistic Erotic Horror
This is not your typical horror. As I was expecting by the title and cover it contained hardcore porn. The stories were all different and good and the narration was great. It has it all rape, guts, gore, monsters and lots of fluid exchange. Definitively not for everyone especially faint of heart recommend to anyone who enjoys disgusting stories similar to Matt Shaw. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher. Thank you.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Spooky Mike
- 01-24-20
Sexy Gruesome
As the title implies there is a lot of gore and a lot of pron, hence splatter pron. Usually these stories are sophomoric and just seem unnecessary or are so over the top that they become really bad. I actually really enjoyed each story. The gore and pron seemed to be needed to tell the story and each piece works well with each other. Never thought I would actually say that about this genre. With this being a collection from different writers each story was completely unique and told quite differently. They were really good stories that I actually enjoyed even with the disturbingly graphic nature of each. They are all sick and twisted and a few of them really were dark and creeped me out knowing that the depravity of some of these stories probably does exist.
While he is a phenomenal narrator, you have to give Joe Hempel credit for being able to read these stories and not miss a beat. I don’t think that I could read this out loud without my voice changing constantly as I grimace or laugh out of nervousness. Not the first time I have heard him narrate some crazy stuff, but this might have set the bar.
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.
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- Todd (Toad) Vogel
- 12-20-21
Not safe for young ears!
I got this book because of it's narrator. I was in the mood for a good horror book. Joe Hempel is my favorite horror narrator, so I couldn't go wrong with this, right? I should have read the WHOLE title. I just read Stiff Things and saw what looked like a possible zombie on the cover of the book. Boy was I wrong! That being said, I still enjoyed the heck out of this book! lol As always, Joe did a fantastic job with the narration! All of the authors that wrote these stories are new to me and I enjoyed each story. This book is NOT for younger listeners!
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- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 07-02-23
It's Corn, with a big lump of blood
This is a great anthology, the first story sets a great tone, and some of the tales live up to it; some fall a little short, but none are bad by any means. Bum, bum, bum. That's all I'm going to say. This is a hardcore set of stories, so expect explicit sex and a huge helping of hemorrhaging and death. Don't expect neat and tidy things. This book is messy and downright nasty and in your face, so it ain't for the squeamish.
Hempel hammers the hell out of the dialogue and absolutely does wonders in setting the tone. Given the topics and actions in this book he proves himself to be hardcore as well as knowing horror inside and out.
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- Simone
- 01-25-17
Really Disturbing Stuff
Any additional comments?
Very rarely does anything horror bother me but this collection was particularly disturbing in a way that might just be purposely gratuitous. That said, it IS called "Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology" and that really says it all. These are sexually disgusting tales where people frequently die. If you're into that kind of thing, you'll love this book! Joe Hempel is an amazing narrator and never fails to deliver - he makes this gross book worth listening to!
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Crystal Morey
- 11-03-16
Not for the faint of heart
narration was awesome. Definitely not for the faint of heart... You got a strong stomach? this is for you
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3 people found this helpful