Jan Peregrine
AUTHOR

Jan Peregrine

Witty Women's Fiction Fantasy
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Hi, I thought I'd introduce myself and let you in on a secret...My middle name is Kay. Ha, but I don't use my middle initial anymore because it's just really kind of lame. Do you need to know my middle initial? Will you stew for hours trying to guess what it stands for? Do you even want such a heavy complication in your already media-obsessed, sleepless life? I didn't think so! Why I started out writing books with my senseless middle initial (and sometimes even a Ms. label!) is because I thought I should as a professional. I was insecure. Confused. Having been a book and movie reviewer on epinions.com for 14 years before it drifted off into a scary cyberspace void, known so enigmatically and pathetically as "jankp," it seemed like my destiny to continue with the nefarious initial. Hmm, I could only ponder, shall anybody know little, ol' me if I introduce myself flippantly as a common Jan? Might I sound...Swedish?! But then I saw the error of my writerly ways. I'm just going to call myself Jan. As in Jan Peregrine. And damn the wh*remongering critics if they've got a problem with that! Okay, I will admit I've written a book called Memoir of a Writing Porn Star, but look at what the subtitle is. "A Satire." Yes, laugh scornfully all you desire, but that merely tells me you have no idea what a satire is. For your sophomoric delight, permit me to take a moment to enlighten you on what a satire is. It's a devilishly good comedy, a performance of acerbic wit and buffoonery that pokes fun at yourself or others, as the case may be. Most, if not all, of my books resort to good, clean satire that rips across the tender, terror-stricken page (but less so upon screen or digital formatting). Have I begun to impart a sense of who this Jan, this cute upstart, really is? I mean, you know, so you won't likely mistake me for another of my kind? Well, if you aren't absolutely sure, for cryin' out loud, I suppose you think silly details of my non-writerly life must be offered like a sacrifice on a religious-addled brain on fire. Okay, don't say I didn't warn you of overzealousness when you realize just how disappointed you are in my "details." I was born in Omaha, Nebraska, adopted to a ranching family, grew up loving to read and write, enjoyed education so much I went on to get a Master's degree in nothing that would help me get a job, became a soup kitchen missionary for a year in Chicago, had a freak accident that damaged my spinal cord, reviewed books and movies of choice on epinions.com and now at https://www.facebook.com/jansbooks/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel... Do you now feel satisfied? Well, it's not much fun if you're not being satirical. That, my friends, is where the buck stops. Call it my epiphany, my destiny, my last gasp! If you still feel bewildered by the idea, or the joys, of satire, and frankly are offended that you could ever be considered a fan of it, then I'm sorry we missed such a beautiful connection all authors aspire to. I really just wanted to introduce myself and it went all downhill from there, you know? You see what happens when I start writing, especially about myself! My sincerest apologies if I've offended. My other books may be more to your dignified taste. I invite you to look them over with a critical eye and judge for yourself if I've gone and misrepresented myself.  I dare ya!
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Memoir of a Writing Porn Star

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