Stellagirl

The parenting book that's changing my life

Reviewed: 04-21-20

So many parenting books offer "the" solution. If we just gave more/fewer/different consequences or more/less structure or more/less (fill in the blank) -- if we just did that one thing, then our kid would respond.

This book is different. Disturbingly so, for me, at least at the beginning. The author's view is that only the parent can decide what's right for their kid. We can listen to experts, we can pick up communication skills, but no expert truly knows our kid like we do. At the same time, we need to accept that we have no control over our kids' outcomes. We turned out okay despite the mistakes our parents surely made.

Our job as parents is to first heal ourselves (put your oxygen mask on before assisting others). Then authentically engage with our kids. The idea is scary for any parent of a very troubled kid. The experts can offer pearls of wisdom. But it's only us -- as ill-equipped and untrained as we are -- it's only us as parents who can guide our kids.

I especially appreciate the author's humility. He is a therapist, the owner of a well-regarded wilderness therapy program, a dad and a husband. And he candidly describes the mistakes he's made as a dad and husband along his parenting journey.

This is the single most helpful parenting book I've ever read. I hope it touches you, too.

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GK Chesterton is right!

Reviewed: 03-04-13

What didn’t you like about Lisa Cordileione’s performance?

The plus is that the speaker's got a great voice, fun to listen to! Some opportunities: It would be helpful is the speaker offered sign posts when moving to a new section by pausing before starting it. In a written book, we can see the headers; not so, in an audio. Also it's really annoying that the reference is to "the box below". Why not ask the author/performer to modify the audiobook edition to that the speaker talks through the sidebars? I noticed in Bill OReilly's books, he makes small modifications ("in this audiobook, we'll discuss xyz"). Finally, and most importantly, the author emphasizes the importance of completing various worksheets. Why not make the worksheets easily downloadable for audio book listeners.

Any additional comments?

GK Chesterton (or maybe CS Lewis) said we need to be reminded of what we know more than we need to be taught something new. Many of these concepts are things we all know ... the reminder of their importance is invaluable!

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4 people found this helpful

An intriguing look at Kennedy's final weeks

Reviewed: 12-29-12

Which scene was your favorite?

This book is a fascinating glimpse into the lives of the Secret Service agents and the structure of the agency 50 years ago. In 1963, the Secret Service was relatively lightly funded and thinly staffed. Agents dressed in a dignified manner, as many people did back then, always wearing wool suits, shirt and tie, whether they were on duty at the White House, or working Hyannisport or Palm Beach. Somehow, I imagine today's agents wear golf shirts when guarding Pres Obama on the links.

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1 person found this helpful

All talk, little action

Reviewed: 12-29-12

What would have made Political Suicide better?

The hero, Dr. Louis Welcome, is incredible. He puts himself in remarkably dangerous situations to help a mere acquaintance. Really? He sheds light on baffling mysteries by engaging in research that any competent law firm would engage in -- so why, exactly, aren't the lawyers doing it? He is able to outmaneuver an elite military unit (the green berets on steroids) -- well, how elite can this unit be, if a middle aged ER doc can break into their facilities? All in all, in-credible.

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3 people found this helpful