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All the Worst Humans
- How I Made News for Dictators, Tycoons, and Politicians
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
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Publisher's summary
This program is ready by Audie Award-winning narrator Holter Graham.
A bridge-burning, riotous memoir by a top PR operative in Washington who exposes the secrets of the $129-billion industry that controls so much of what we see and hear in the media—from a man who used to pull the strings, and who is now pulling back the curtain.
After nearly two decades in the Washington PR business, Elwood wants to come clean, by exposing the dark underbelly of the very industry that’s made him so successful. The first step is revealing exactly what he’s been up to for the past twenty years—and it isn’t pretty.
Elwood has worked for a murderer’s row of questionable clients, including Gaddafi, Assad, and the government of Qatar. In All the Worst Humans, Elwood unveils how the PR business works, and how the truth gets made, spun, and sold to the public—not shying away from the gritty details of his unlikely career.
This is a piercing look into the corridors of money, power, politics, and control, all told in Elwood’s disarmingly funny and entertaining voice. He recounts a four-day Las Vegas bacchanal with a dictator’s son, plotting communications strategies against a terrorist organization in Western Africa, and helping to land a Middle Eastern dictator’s wife a glowing profile in Vogue on the same time the Arab Spring broke out. And he reveals all his slippery tricks for seducing journalists in order to create chaos and ultimately cover for politicians, dictators, and spies—the industry-secret tactics that led to his rise as a political PR pro.
Along the way, Phil walks the halls of the Capitol, rides in armored cars through Abuja, and watches his client lose his annual income at the roulette table. But as he moved up the ranks, he felt worse and worse about the sleaziness of it all—until Elwood receives a shocking wake-up call from the FBI. This risky game nearly cost Elwood his life and his freedom. Seeing the light, Elwood decides to change his ways, and his clients, and to tell the full truth about who is the worst human.
A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.
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Critic reviews
"Hilarious and harrowing, and hard to put down. Indeed, I didn't put it down."—Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking
"Journalists often wonder what spinmasters are doing to influence them. The reality Phil Elwood reveals is worse—and more interesting—than we usually imagine. All the Worst Humans is an exhilarating ride through the underbelly of global power structures."—Ben Smith, author of Traffic and editor in chief of Semafor
"If Hunter S. Thompson billed clients by the hour, it would look like All The Worst Humans by Phil Elwood. The pacing and storytelling propel the book's epic sweep across the darkside of DC and global hotspots. Even the most experienced in PR will learn things they did not know, and Elwood's gripping personal story is an unexpected and wild ride."—Bill McCarren, former Executive Director, National Press Club
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The ancient Toltecs believed that life, as we perceive it, is a dream. We each live in our own personal dream, and these come together to form the dream of the planet, or the world in which we live. Problems arise when our perception of the dream becomes clouded with negativity, drama, and judgment (of ourselves and others), because it's in these moments of suffering that we have forgotten that we are the architects of our own reality and we have the power to change our dream if we choose.
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listen.. .then listen again
- By Casiano on 12-22-16
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Ho Tactics
- How to MindF**k a Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring
- By: G. L. Lambert
- Narrated by: Patrick Stevens
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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Mythology: Mega Collection
- Classic Stories from the Greek, Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Mesopotamian and Egyptian Mythology
- By: Scott Lewis
- Narrated by: Madison Niederhauser, Oliver Hunt
- Length: 31 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know how many wives Zeus had? Or how the famous Trojan War was caused by one beautiful lady? Or how Thor got his hammer? Give your imagination a real treat. This Mega Mythology Collection of eight audiobooks is for you....
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An interesting set of introductions.
- By Kevin Potter on 05-30-19
By: Scott Lewis
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MOVE: The Untold Story of an American Tragedy
- By: Curtis Bryant, Kevin Arbouet
- Narrated by: Tariq Trotter
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Original Recording
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This searing audio documentary brings listeners deep inside the unforgettable story of MOVE, gaining unprecedented access to surviving MOVE members, elected officials from the era, eyewitnesses, and historians to create an indelible portrait of an American tragedy.
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Balanced Examination of History
- By James Peacock on 08-14-24
By: Curtis Bryant, and others
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
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The Stoic Challenge
- A Philosopher's Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient
- By: William B. Irvine
- Narrated by: Brian Troxell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Some people bounce back in response to setbacks; others break. We often think that these responses are hardwired, but fortunately this is not the case. Stoicism offers us an alternative approach. Plumbing the wisdom of one of the most popular and successful schools of thought from ancient Rome, philosopher William B. Irvine teaches us to turn any challenge on its head. The Stoic Challenge, then, is the ultimate guide to improving your quality of life through tactics developed by ancient Stoics, from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca to Epictetus.
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Rehashing of points in Irvine's previous work
- By Anon a Mus on 10-17-20
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The Autobiography of Malcolm X
- As Told to Alex Haley
- By: Malcolm X, Alex Haley
- Narrated by: Laurence Fishburne
- Length: 16 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Experience a bold take on this classic autobiography as it’s performed by Oscar-nominated Laurence Fishburne. In this searing classic autobiography, originally published in 1965, Malcolm X, the Muslim leader, firebrand, and Black empowerment activist, tells the extraordinary story of his life and the growth of the Human Rights movement. His fascinating perspective on the lies and limitations of the American dream and the inherent racism in a society that denies its non-White citizens the opportunity to dream, gives extraordinary insight into the most urgent issues of our own time.
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it's Nearly perfect
- By Kerry on 09-16-20
By: Malcolm X, and others
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Caffeine
- How Caffeine Created the Modern World
- By: Michael Pollan
- Narrated by: Michael Pollan
- Length: 2 hrs and 2 mins
- Original Recording
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Michael Pollan, known for his best-selling nonfiction audio, including The Omnivores Dilemma and How to Change Your Mind, conceived and wrote Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World as an Audible Original. In this controversial and exciting listen, Pollan explores caffeine’s power as the most-used drug in the world - and the only one we give to children (in soda pop) as a treat.
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Leaves much to be desired
- By Melody H on 02-02-20
By: Michael Pollan
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Eight Dates
- Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Doug Abrams, and others
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Julie McKay
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
- By Anonymous User on 01-21-20
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Narcotopia
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In Asia’s narcotics-producing heartland, the Wa reign supreme. They dominate the Golden Triangle, a mountainous stretch of Burma between Thailand and China. Their 30,000-strong army, wielding missiles and attack drones, makes Mexican cartels look like street gangs.
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A must listen for Asia history buffs
- By philip beere on 03-01-24
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Raiders, Rulers, and Traders
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Thank You for Smoking
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Nobody blows smoke like Nick Naylor. He’s a spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies - in other words, a flack for cigarette companies, paid to promote their product on talk and news shows. The problem? He’s so good at his job, so effortlessly unethical, that he’s become a target for both anti-tobacco terrorists and for the FBI. In a country where half the people want to outlaw pleasure and the other want to sell you a disease, what will become of Nick Naylor?
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Verbal Judo
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This Town
- Two Parties and a Funeral - Plus, Plenty of Valet Parking! - in America’s Gilded Capital
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The great thing about Washington is no matter how many elections you lose, how many times you're indicted, how many scandals you've been tainted by, well, the great thing is you can always eat lunch in that town again. What keeps the permanent government spinning on its carousel is the freedom of shamelessness, and that mother's milk of politics, cash. What Julia Phillips did for Hollywood, Timothy Crouse did for journalists, and Michael Lewis did for Wall Street, Mark Leibovich does for our nation's capital.
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They're out of touch ... and how!
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Black Pill
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Award-winning journalist and CNN correspondent Elle Reeve was not surprised by the insurrection at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. With years of in-depth research and on-the-ground investigative reporting under her belt, Reeve was aware of the preoccupations of the online far right and their journey from the computer to QAnon, militias, and racist groups. At the same time, Reeve saw a parallel growth of counterforces, with citizen vigilantes using new tools and tactics to take down the far right.
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Great story — uneven performance
- By SSG on 08-19-24
By: Elle Reeve
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Fire Exit
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From the porch of his home, Charles Lamosway has watched the life he might have had unfold across the river on Maine’s Penobscot Reservation. On the far bank, he caught brief moments of Roger and Mary raising their only child, Elizabeth from the day she came home from the hospital to her early twenties. But there’s always been something deeper and more dangerous than the river that divides him from this family and the rest of the tribal community. It’s the secret that Elizabeth is his daughter, a secret Charles is no longer willing to keep.
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Wonderful story about love, family , truth and deception and identity
- By ReallyNelie on 06-23-24
By: Morgan Talty
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Narcotopia
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In Asia’s narcotics-producing heartland, the Wa reign supreme. They dominate the Golden Triangle, a mountainous stretch of Burma between Thailand and China. Their 30,000-strong army, wielding missiles and attack drones, makes Mexican cartels look like street gangs.
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A must listen for Asia history buffs
- By philip beere on 03-01-24
By: Patrick Winn
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Raiders, Rulers, and Traders
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- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
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No animal is so entangled in human history as the horse. The thread starts in prehistory, with a slight, shy animal, hunted for food. Domesticating the horse allowed early humans to settle the vast Eurasian steppe; later, their horses enabled new forms of warfare, encouraged long-distance trade routes, and ended up acquiring deep cultural and religious significance.
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Thank You for Smoking
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Nobody blows smoke like Nick Naylor. He’s a spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies - in other words, a flack for cigarette companies, paid to promote their product on talk and news shows. The problem? He’s so good at his job, so effortlessly unethical, that he’s become a target for both anti-tobacco terrorists and for the FBI. In a country where half the people want to outlaw pleasure and the other want to sell you a disease, what will become of Nick Naylor?
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Verbal Judo
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This Town
- Two Parties and a Funeral - Plus, Plenty of Valet Parking! - in America’s Gilded Capital
- By: Mark Leibovich
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- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
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The great thing about Washington is no matter how many elections you lose, how many times you're indicted, how many scandals you've been tainted by, well, the great thing is you can always eat lunch in that town again. What keeps the permanent government spinning on its carousel is the freedom of shamelessness, and that mother's milk of politics, cash. What Julia Phillips did for Hollywood, Timothy Crouse did for journalists, and Michael Lewis did for Wall Street, Mark Leibovich does for our nation's capital.
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They're out of touch ... and how!
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By: Mark Leibovich
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Black Pill
- How I Witnessed the Darkest Corners of the Internet Come to Life, Poison Society, and Capture American Politics
- By: Elle Reeve
- Narrated by: Elle Reeve
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
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Overall
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Award-winning journalist and CNN correspondent Elle Reeve was not surprised by the insurrection at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. With years of in-depth research and on-the-ground investigative reporting under her belt, Reeve was aware of the preoccupations of the online far right and their journey from the computer to QAnon, militias, and racist groups. At the same time, Reeve saw a parallel growth of counterforces, with citizen vigilantes using new tools and tactics to take down the far right.
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Great story — uneven performance
- By SSG on 08-19-24
By: Elle Reeve
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Fire Exit
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From the porch of his home, Charles Lamosway has watched the life he might have had unfold across the river on Maine’s Penobscot Reservation. On the far bank, he caught brief moments of Roger and Mary raising their only child, Elizabeth from the day she came home from the hospital to her early twenties. But there’s always been something deeper and more dangerous than the river that divides him from this family and the rest of the tribal community. It’s the secret that Elizabeth is his daughter, a secret Charles is no longer willing to keep.
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Wonderful story about love, family , truth and deception and identity
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The Longest Con
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The Longest Con tells the fascinating story of the partisan con artists who have corrupted conservative politics in our time, creating a toxic phenomenon that culminated in the election of Donald Trump, a bumptious fraud whose checkered career and tawdry retinue, including his presidential cabinet, have featured almost every variety of scam. But long before he appeared, Trump's path to power was blazed by the motley horde of swindlers and quacks who preceded him.
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Very interesting wide lens view
- By CG on 09-17-24
By: Joe Conason
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Lost Man's Lane
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- By: Scott Carson
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Marshall Miller would’ve remembered her face even if he hadn’t seen it on a MISSING poster. When a young woman disappears in his small town, the investigation hinges on Marshall’s haunted sighting of her, crying in the back seat of a police car driven by a cop named Maddox. There’s only one problem: no local cop named Maddox exists. But the speeding ticket he handed to Marshall certainly does.
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Two Pack and Nazz
- By Katy Ryan on 04-04-24
By: Scott Carson
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When the Clock Broke
- Con Men, Conspiracists, and How America Cracked Up in the Early 1990s
- By: John Ganz
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
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With the Soviet Union extinct, Saddam Hussein defeated, and U.S. power at its zenith, the early 1990s promised a “kinder, gentler America.” Instead, it was a period of rising anger and domestic turmoil, anticipating the polarization and resurgent extremism we know today. In When the Clock Broke, the acclaimed political writer John Ganz tells the story of America’s late-century discontents.
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Amazing history of the early 90s
- By Aaron R. Isaacson on 06-25-24
By: John Ganz
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Martyr!
- A Novel
- By: Kaveh Akbar
- Narrated by: Arian Moayed
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Cyrus Shams is a young man grappling with an inheritance of violence and loss: his mother’s plane was shot down over the skies of the Persian Gulf in a senseless accident; and his father’s life in America was circumscribed by his work killing chickens at a factory farm in the Midwest. Cyrus is a drunk, an addict, and a poet, whose obsession with martyrs leads him to examine the mysteries of his past.
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One of the best novels I have ever read/heard.
- By James on 04-06-24
By: Kaveh Akbar
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The Ministry of Time
- A Novel
- By: Kaliane Bradley
- Narrated by: George Weightman, Katie Leung
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
In the near future, a civil servant is offered the salary of her dreams and is, shortly afterward, told what project she’ll be working on. A recently established government ministry is gathering “expats” from across history to establish whether time travel is feasible—for the body, but also for the fabric of space-time.
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More than the sum of its parts but…
- By L. Williams on 05-17-24
By: Kaliane Bradley
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The Wolves of K Street
- The Secret History of How Big Money Took Over Big Government
- By: Brody Mullins, Luke Mullins
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- Unabridged
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In the 1970s, Washington’s center of power began to shift away from elected officials in big marble buildings to a handful of savvy, handsomely paid operators who didn’t answer to any fixed constituency. The cigar-chomping son of an influential congressman, an illustrious political fixer with a weakness for modern art, a Watergate-era dirty trickster, the city’s favorite cocktail party host—these were the sort of men who now ran Washington.
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A cast of characters
- By Judy L. Bourget MD Inc. on 06-15-24
By: Brody Mullins, and others
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Unit X
- How the Pentagon and Silicon Valley Are Transforming the Future of War
- By: Raj M. Shah, Christopher Kirchhoff
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins, Raj M. Shah, Christopher Kirchhoff
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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A vast and largely unseen transformation of how war is fought as profound as the invention of gunpowder or advent of the nuclear age is occurring. Flying cars that can land like helicopters, artificial intelligence-powered drones that can fly into buildings and map their interiors, microsatellites that can see through clouds and monitor rogue missile sites—all these and more are becoming part of America’s DIU-fast-tracked arsenal. Until recently, the Pentagon was known for its uncomfortable relationship with Silicon Valley and for slow-moving processes that acted as a brake on innovation.
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Poor Job Telling a Great Story
- By Andrew N Dobson on 10-31-24
By: Raj M. Shah, and others
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Foreign Agents
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- Narrated by: Joe Dwyer
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Story
For years, one group of Americans has worked as foot-soldiers for the most authoritarian regimes around the planet. In the process, they've not only entrenched dictatorships and spread kleptocratic networks, but they've secretly guided U.S. policy without the rest of America even being aware. And now, some of them have begun turning their sights on American democracy itself. These Americans are known as foreign lobbyists, and many of them spent years ushering dictatorships directly into the halls of Washington, all while laundering the reputations of the most heinous regimes in the process.
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Should be read by everyone
- By Jeroen on 10-27-24
By: Casey Michel
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James
- A Novel
- By: Percival Everett
- Narrated by: Dominic Hoffman
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- Unabridged
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Story
When the enslaved Jim overhears that he is about to be sold to a man in New Orleans, separated from his wife and daughter forever, he decides to hide on nearby Jackson Island until he can formulate a plan. Meanwhile, Huck Finn has faked his own death to escape his violent father, recently returned to town. As all readers/listeners of American literature know, thus begins the dangerous and transcendent journey by raft down the Mississippi River toward the elusive and too-often-unreliable promise of the Free States and beyond.
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Can we ever be free
- By J. Stirling on 04-04-24
By: Percival Everett
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Democracy or Else
- How to Save America in 10 Easy Steps
- By: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor, and others
- Narrated by: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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If you’re looking to navigate the chaotic, dunce-infested waters of American politics, Democracy or Else is here to help you tackle what might be the greatest question of our time: How do you get involved in the political process and make a real difference without giving in to the sense of impending dread that hangs over our society like a nameless stench? Democracy or Else is a resource for everyone—from political junkies following every turn of the news cycle to young people getting ready to vote for the first time.
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Slightly longer podcast with great guests
- By Gregory Ritter on 07-13-24
By: Jon Favreau, and others
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When the Night Comes Falling
- A Requiem for the Idaho Student Murders
- By: Howard Blum
- Narrated by: Zac Aleman
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Timed for a trial that will capture national attention, When the Night Comes Falling examines the mysterious murders of the four University of Idaho students. Having covered this case from its start, Edgar award winning investigative reporter Howard Blum takes listeners behind the scenes of the police manhunt that eventually led to suspected killer, Bryan Christopher Kohberger, and uncovered larger, lurid questions within this unthinkable tragedy.
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Waste of Money
- By Jessica on 07-05-24
By: Howard Blum
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We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay
- (tips, tales, travels)
- By: Gary Janetti
- Narrated by: Gary Janetti
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Gary Janetti has gained a devoted following, with a huge audience on social media, and two bestselling collections of essays under his belt. His new collection will prompt laughter but also delighted recognition as Janetti tackles the absurdity and glory of travel. In We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay, he shares stories of his varied trips around the world. Interspersed with recollections of his trips are personal meditations on dining alone as well as journeys to such diverse destinations as Mykonos, Australia, a Noma pop-up, and other glamorous spots.
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Entitled Much?
- By Ed on 07-29-24
By: Gary Janetti
What listeners say about All the Worst Humans
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Reading Grandma
- 09-11-24
An insightful yet terribly depressing read…
Eye opening to say the least for this ”Pollyanna”! Sad to hear the “insider story” from this man’s perspective. Depressing to learn how life really is carried on by our leadership. Makes me want to seek Ketamine too 🥲…& I’m not a drug user at all!
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1 person found this helpful
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- DHaston
- 07-05-24
Wow, what a story!
This gives such an insight into how the real world works. We always wonder about what happens inside the machine and this book is such an honest look inside. Listened as an Audiobook and the narration was great and kept me interested the whole time.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-14-24
this book is awesome, listen now!
words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. words aren’t needed, read now. seven unique words, come on
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Story
- Amazon Customer
- 08-07-24
All Your Worst Fears Are True
The public relations industry is far worse than you thought. The title is well chosen
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-24-24
Extremely Interesting Story
This story/life is so interesting! It certainly opened my eyes to what happens behinds the scenes of the stories we hear everyday! I loved how he addresses the suicide epidemic and brings light to it!
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- Jackie
- 09-25-24
One of the best books I’ve ever listened to.
It’s what we all know to be true but, incredibly fascinating depiction on how it is accomplished. I won’t spoil a thing. Listen and you will really appreciate it.
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- William K. Shireman
- 07-04-24
Binge-worthy. Every worried citizen needs to hear this story.
Every American red and blue needs to hear this powerful primer on the political power broker industry, the narrative-spinners that keep the silenced majority divided and the monied in power, and the infection of the media industry by a business model that profits by dividing Americans in fear, anger and hate. Elwood was caught up deeply in it, and while he’s no model of virtue, he is an honest insider who names names, and he represents thousands who continue to exploit the system, some with and some without remorse.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-04-24
Eye opening!
Great look at the power of the PR machine. Would love a volume 2 with more stories.
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- Photo Curt
- 07-10-24
The Best Book About the Worst Humans
What happens when you take a bipolar, depressive, former high school debate champ, college flunkee, and give him a job doing PR for dictators and spy agencies? Hilarious mayhem ensues in this well written and well read memoir. This is one of the most enjoyable audio books I’ve heard since COVID.
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Story
- Reed Bell
- 09-08-24
This man’s story is wild.
Absolutely worth a listen. I’ll recommend this book to anyone! These stories really give you a behind the scenes look at how the media industry works, especially for those with power and money.
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