And Then You're Dead
What Really Happens If You Get Swallowed by a Whale, Are Shot from a Cannon, or Go Barreling over Niagara
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Narrated by:
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Dennis Boutsikaris
About this listen
A gleefully gruesome look at the actual science behind the most outlandish, cartoonish, and impossible deaths you can imagine.
What would happen if you took a swim outside a deep-sea submarine wearing only a swimsuit? How long could you last if you stood on the surface of the sun? How far could you actually get in digging a hole to China? Paul Doherty, senior staff scientist at San Francisco's famed Exploratorium Museum, and writer Cody Cassidy explore the real science behind these and other fantastical scenarios, offering insights into physics, astronomy, anatomy, and more along the way.
Is slipping on a banana peel really as hazardous to your health as the cartoons imply? Answer: yes. Banana peels ooze a gel that turns out to be extremely slippery. Your foot and body weight provide the pressure. The gel provides the humor (and resulting head trauma).
Can you die by shaking someone's hand? Answer: yes. That's because, due to atomic repulsion, you've never actually touched another person's hand. If you could, the results would be as disastrous as a medium-sized hydrogen bomb.
If you were Cookie Monster, just how many cookies could you actually eat in one sitting? Answer: Most stomachs can hold up to 60 cookies, or around four liters. If you eat or drink more than that, you're approaching the point at which the cookies would break through the lesser curvature of your stomach, and then you'd better call an ambulance to Sesame Street.
©2017 Cody Cassidy (P)2017 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“As someone who is averse to flying, elevators, and a catalog of other things I’d rather not admit to, I found this book strangely cathartic. A great read, full of interesting anecdotes and funny commentary.” (Ali Almossawi, author of Bad Choices and An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments)
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Grunt tackles the science behind some of a soldier's most challenging adversaries - panic, exhaustion, heat, noise - and introduces us to the scientists who seek to conquer them. Mary Roach dodges hostile fire with the U.S. Marine Corps Paintball Team as part of a study on hearing loss and survivability in combat. She visits the fashion design studio of U.S. Army Natick Labs and learns why a zipper is a problem for a sniper.
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I Usually Love Mary Roach, But--
- By Gillian on 12-07-16
By: Mary Roach
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How to Walk on Water and Climb up Walls
- Animal Movement and the Robots of the Future
- By: David Hu
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Insects walk on water, snakes slither, and fish swim. Animals move with astounding grace, speed, and versatility: how do they do it, and what can we learn from them? In How to Walk on Water and Climb up Walls, David Hu takes listeners on an accessible, wondrous journey into the world of animal motion. From basement labs at MIT to the rain forests of Panama, Hu shows how animals have adapted and evolved to traverse their environments, taking advantage of physical laws with results that are startling and ingenious.
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Fun, entertaining, hilarious, and informative
- By Susan T on 11-04-19
By: David Hu
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How to Invent Everything
- A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
- By: Ryan North
- Narrated by: Ryan North
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What would you do if a time machine hurled you thousands of years into the past...and then broke? How would you survive? With this book as your guide, you'll survive - and thrive - in any period in Earth's history. Best-selling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North tells you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted - from first principles. This manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up.
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Get the book
- By Tim McNerney on 11-26-18
By: Ryan North
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The Disappearing Spoon
- And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements
- By: Sam Kean
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Reporter Sam Kean reveals the periodic table as it’s never been seen before. Not only is it one of man's crowning scientific achievements, it's also a treasure trove of stories of passion, adventure, betrayal, and obsession. The infectious tales and astounding details in The Disappearing Spoon follow carbon, neon, silicon, and gold as they play out their parts in human history, finance, mythology, war, the arts, poison, and the lives of the (frequently) mad scientists who discovered them.
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Great Book, Great Narration, But...
- By Henny Button on 09-18-10
By: Sam Kean
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Soonish
- Ten Emerging Technologies That'll Improve and/or Ruin Everything
- By: Kelly Weinersmith, Zach Weinersmith
- Narrated by: Kelly Weinersmith, Zach Weinersmith
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this smart and funny book, celebrated cartoonist Zach Weinersmith and noted researcher Dr. Kelly Weinersmith give us a snapshot of what's coming next - from robot swarms to nuclear fusion powered-toasters. By weaving their own research and interviews with the scientists who are making these advances happen, the Weinersmiths investigate why these technologies are needed, how they would work, and what is standing in their way.
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Really Good-ish!
- By See Reverse on 04-16-18
By: Kelly Weinersmith, and others
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The Book of General Ignorance
- By: John Mitchinson, John Lloyd
- Narrated by: uncredited
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Misconceptions, misunderstandings, and flawed facts finally get the heave-ho in this humorous, downright humiliating book of reeducation based on the phenomenal British best seller. Challenging what most of us assume to be verifiable truths in areas like history, literature, science, nature, and more, The Book of General Ignorance is a witty “gotcha” compendium of how little we actually know about anything. It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.
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Interesting.
- By A. Hawkbird on 12-07-08
By: John Mitchinson, and others
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In the Waves
- My Quest to Solve the Mystery of a Civil War Submarine
- By: Rachel Lance
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On the night of February 17, 1864, the tiny Confederate submarine HL Hunley made its way toward the USS Housatonic just outside Charleston harbor. Within a matter of hours, the Union ship’s stern was blown open in a spray of wood planks. The explosion sank the ship, killing many of its crew. And the submarine, the first ever to be successful in combat, disappeared without a trace. For 131 years the eight-man crew of the HL Hunley lay in their watery graves, undiscovered.
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A wonderful scientific dive!
- By Stephen on 05-01-20
By: Rachel Lance
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End of an Era
- By: Robert J. Sawyer
- Narrated by: David Marantz
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Paleontologist Brandon Thackery and his rival, Miles "Klicks" Jordan, fulfill a dinosaur lover's dream with history's first time-travel jaunt to the late Mesozoic. Hoping to solve the extinction mystery, they find Earth's gravity is only half its 21st-century value and dinosaurs that behave very strangely. Could the slimy blue creatures from Mars have something to do with both?
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Fascinating!
- By Simone on 07-08-16
By: Robert J. Sawyer
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Proxima Rising
- Proxima, Book 1
- By: Brandon Q. Morris
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Late in the 21st century, Earth receives what looks like an urgent plea for help from planet Proxima Centauri b in the closest star system to the Sun. Astrophysicists suspect a massive solar flare is about to destroy this heretofore-unknown civilization. Earth's space programs are unequipped to help, but an unscrupulous Russian billionaire launches a secret and highly-specialized spaceship to Proxima b, over four light-years away.
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Story is great, format is not
- By Mike on 04-26-20
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Seal Survival Guide
- A Navy Seal's Secrets to Surviving Any Disaster
- By: Cade Courtley
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Former Navy SEAL and preeminent American survivalist Cade Courtley delivers step-by-step instructions anyone can master in this user-friendly guide. From random shootings to deadly wildfires to terrorist attacks, the reality is that modern life is unpredictable and dangerous. Don't live in fear or rely on luck. Learn the SEAL mindset: Be prepared, feel confident, step up, and know exactly how to survive any life-threatening situation.
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If I was a Navy seal I could totally do this.
- By colleen on 03-31-15
By: Cade Courtley
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A Short History of Nearly Everything
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: Richard Matthews
- Length: 18 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bill Bryson has been an enormously popular author both for his travel books and for his books on the English language. Now, this beloved comic genius turns his attention to science. Although he doesn't know anything about the subject (at first), he is eager to learn, and takes information that he gets from the world's leading experts and explains it to us in a way that makes it exciting and relevant.
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The Only Book I reread imediatley after reading
- By Andrew on 11-09-09
By: Bill Bryson
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The Enceladus Mission
- Ice Moon 1
- By: Brandon Q. Morris
- Narrated by: Doug Tisdale Jr.
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the year 2031, a robot probe detects traces of biological activity on Enceladus, one of Saturn's moons. This sensational discovery shows that there is indeed evidence of extraterrestrial life. Fifteen years later, a hurriedly built spacecraft sets out on the long journey to the ringed planet and its moon. The international crew is not just facing a difficult twenty-seven months: if the spacecraft manages to make it to Enceladus without incident it must use a drillship to penetrate the kilometer-thick sheet of ice that entombs the moon.
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Robotic performance, potentially interesting story
- By Opa on 02-21-19
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Mother Nature Is Trying to Kill You
- A Lively Tour Through the Dark Side of the Natural World
- By: Dan Riskin
- Narrated by: Dan Riskin
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It may be a wonderful world, but as Dan Riskin explains, it's also a dangerous, disturbing, and disgusting one. At every turn, it seems, living things are trying to eat us, poison us, use our bodies as their homes, or have us spread their eggs. In Mother Nature Is Trying to Kill You, Riskin is our guide through the natural world at its most gloriously ruthless. Using the seven deadly sins as a road map, Riskin offers dozens of jaw-dropping examples that illuminate how brutal nature can truly be.
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Just a bunch of random animal behaviors.
- By Goddess on 05-18-23
By: Dan Riskin
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Chernobyl 01:23:40
- The Incredible True Story of the World's Worst Nuclear Disaster
- By: Andrew Leatherbarrow
- Narrated by: Michael Page
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At 01:23:40 on April 26th 1986, Alexander Akimov pressed the emergency shutdown button at Chernobyl's fourth nuclear reactor. It was an act that forced the permanent evacuation of a city, killed thousands, and crippled the Soviet Union. The event spawned decades of conflicting, exaggerated, and inaccurate stories.
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Lost in his own navel
- By Christopher on 10-17-16
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History is the most dangerous place on earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do. In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, and more.
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The Book of General Ignorance
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Misconceptions, misunderstandings, and flawed facts finally get the heave-ho in this humorous, downright humiliating book of reeducation based on the phenomenal British best seller. Challenging what most of us assume to be verifiable truths in areas like history, literature, science, nature, and more, The Book of General Ignorance is a witty “gotcha” compendium of how little we actually know about anything. It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.
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Interesting.
- By A. Hawkbird on 12-07-08
By: John Mitchinson, and others
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Humans: A Brief History of How We F*cked It All Up
- By: Tom Phillips
- Narrated by: Nish Kumar
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Modern humans have come a long way in the 70,000 years they’ve walked the earth. Art, science, culture, trade - on the evolutionary food chain, we’re true winners. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, and sometimes - just occasionally - we’ve managed to truly f--k things up.
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if you think white men are evil
- By Victor Fiore on 12-11-20
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Stuff You Should Know
- An Incomplete Compendium of Mostly Interesting Things
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From the duo behind the massively successful and award-winning podcast Stuff You Should Know comes an unexpected look at things you thought you knew. Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant started the podcast Stuff You Should Know back in 2008 because they were curious - curious about the world around them, curious about what they might have missed in their formal educations, and curious to dig deeper on stuff they thought they understood.
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Fails as an audio book.
- By Sarah H on 12-10-20
By: Josh Clark, and others
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Ask a Historian
- 50 Surprising Answers to Things You Always Wanted to Know
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- Narrated by: Dan Schreiber, Greg Jenner, Janina Ramirez, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
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Responding to fifty genuine questions from the public, Greg Jenner takes you on an entertaining tour through history from the Stone Age to the Swinging Sixties, revealing the best and most surprising stories, facts and historical characters from the past. From ancient joke books, African empires and the invention of meringues, to mummies, mirrors and menstrual pads—Ask A Historian is a deliciously amusing and informative smorgasbord of historical curiosities.
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best bonus content ever!
- By Matthew K Wendelken on 03-24-22
By: Greg Jenner
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How to Survive History
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History is the most dangerous place on earth. From dinosaurs the size of locomotives to meteors big enough to sterilize the planet, from famines to pandemics, from tornadoes to the Chicxulub asteroid, the odds of human survival are slim but not zero—at least, not if you know where to go and what to do. In each chapter of How to Survive History, Cody Cassidy explores how to survive one of history’s greatest threats: getting eaten by dinosaurs, being destroyed by the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs, succumbing to the lava flows of Pompeii, being devoured by the Donner Party, and more.
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A fun, light romp
- By Ron on 03-11-24
By: Cody Cassidy
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Who Ate the First Oyster?
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Who wore the first pants? Who painted the first masterpiece? Who first rode the horse? Who invented soap? This madcap adventure across ancient history uses everything from modern genetics to archaeology to uncover the geniuses behind these and other world-changing innovations. With a sharp sense of humor and boundless enthusiasm for the wonders of our ancient ancestors, Who Ate the First Oyster? profiles the perpetrators of the greatest firsts and catastrophes of prehistory.
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It could be better...
- By Alex on 04-06-21
By: Cody Cassidy
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The Book of General Ignorance
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Interesting.
- By A. Hawkbird on 12-07-08
By: John Mitchinson, and others
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Humans: A Brief History of How We F*cked It All Up
- By: Tom Phillips
- Narrated by: Nish Kumar
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Modern humans have come a long way in the 70,000 years they’ve walked the earth. Art, science, culture, trade - on the evolutionary food chain, we’re true winners. But it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, and sometimes - just occasionally - we’ve managed to truly f--k things up.
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if you think white men are evil
- By Victor Fiore on 12-11-20
By: Tom Phillips
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From the duo behind the massively successful and award-winning podcast Stuff You Should Know comes an unexpected look at things you thought you knew. Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant started the podcast Stuff You Should Know back in 2008 because they were curious - curious about the world around them, curious about what they might have missed in their formal educations, and curious to dig deeper on stuff they thought they understood.
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Fails as an audio book.
- By Sarah H on 12-10-20
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Ask a Historian
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Now I Know
- The Revealing Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts
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Did you know that there are actually 27 letters in the alphabet, or that the U.S. had a plan to invade Canada? And what actually happened to the flags left on the moon? Even if you think you have a handle on all things trivia, you're guaranteed a big surprise with Now I Know. From uncovering what happens to lost luggage to New York City's plan to crack down on crime by banning pinball, this book will challenge your knowledge of the fascinating stories behind the world's greatest facts.
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Scientifically inaccurate
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How To
- Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems
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For any task you might want to do, there's a right way, a wrong way, and a way so monumentally complex, excessive, and inadvisable that no one would ever try it. How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.
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Bad Ideas So BAD They Are NEARLY Irresistable! 🤓
- By C. White on 09-03-19
By: Randall Munroe
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The Mystery of the Exploding Teeth
- And Other Curiosities from the History of Medicine
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A puzzling series of dental explosions beginning in the 19th century is just one of many strange tales that have long lain undiscovered in the pages of old medical journals. Award-winning medical historian Thomas Morris delivers one of the most remarkable, cringe-inducing collections of stories ever assembled.
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Boring Toilet Humor
- By Nemo on 01-30-20
By: Thomas Morris
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The Physics of Everyday Things
- The Extraordinary Science Behind an Ordinary Day
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Most of us are clueless when it comes to the physics that makes our modern world so convenient. What's the simple science behind motion sensors, touch screens, and toasters? How do we glide through tolls using an E-ZPass or find our way to new places using GPS? In The Physics of Everyday Things, James Kakalios takes us on an amazing journey into the subatomic marvels that underlie so much of what we use and take for granted.
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Computer-generated text, read by a robot; joyless
- By Viola DaGamba on 12-01-22
By: James Kakalios
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How to Invent Everything
- A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
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What would you do if a time machine hurled you thousands of years into the past...and then broke? How would you survive? With this book as your guide, you'll survive - and thrive - in any period in Earth's history. Best-selling author and time-travel enthusiast Ryan North tells you how to invent all the modern conveniences we take for granted - from first principles. This manual contains all the science, engineering, art, philosophy, facts, and figures required for even the most clueless time traveler to build a civilization from the ground up.
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Get the book
- By Tim McNerney on 11-26-18
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Full Spectrum
- How the Science of Color Made Us Modern
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From kelly green to millennial pink, our world is graced with a richness of colors. But our human-made colors haven’t always matched nature’s kaleidoscopic array. To reach those brightest heights required millennia of remarkable innovation and a fascinating exchange of ideas between science and craft that’s allowed for the most luminous manifestations of our built and adorned world. In Full Spectrum, Rogers takes us on that globe-trotting journey, tracing an arc from the earliest humans to our digitized, synthesized present and future.
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Color, who knew?
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By: Adam Rogers
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What If? 2
- Additional Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
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The millions of people around the world who loved What If? still have questions, and those questions are getting stranger. Thank goodness xkcd creator Randall Munroe is here to help. Planning to ride a fire pole from the Moon back to Earth? The hardest part is sticking the landing. Hoping to cool the atmosphere by opening everyone’s freezer door at the same time? Maybe it’s time for a brief introduction to thermodynamics. Want to know what would happen if you rode a helicopter blade, made a lava lamp out of lava, or jumped on an erupting geyser? Okay, if you insist.
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Interesting book, horrible narrator
- By Peter on 02-18-24
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How to Take Over the World
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Bestselling author and award-winning comics writer Ryan North has the answers. In this introduction to the science of comic-book supervillainy, he details a number of outlandish villainous schemes that harness the potential of today’s most advanced technologies. Picking up where How to Invent Everything left off, his explanations are as fun and elucidating as they are completely absurd.
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A hilarious exploration of selfish altruism
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By: Ryan North
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From the Silicon Valley tech billionaires currently trying to work out whether or not the universe is one giant video game simulation to the self-proclaimed community of Italian time-travelers who are trying to save the world from destruction; The Theory of Everything Else will act as a handbook for those who want to think differently.
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Yawn
- By Tony Love on 08-18-23
By: Dan Schreiber
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A Million Years in a Day
- A Curious History of Everyday Life from the Stone Age to the Phone Age
- By: Greg Jenner
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
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Performance
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Who invented beds? When did we start cleaning our teeth? How old are wine and beer? Which came first: the toilet seat or toilet paper? What was the first clock? Every day, from the moment our alarm clock wakes us in the morning until our head hits our pillow at night, we all take part in rituals that are millennia old. Structured around one ordinary day, A Million Years in a Day reveals the astonishing origins and development of the daily practices we take for granted.
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Super interesting!
- By Brandon on 07-07-16
By: Greg Jenner
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What If? 10th Anniversary Edition
- Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
- By: Randall Munroe
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions: What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at ninety percent the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there was a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last? What if everyone only had one soulmate? What would happen if the moon went away? In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators.
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nothing new
- By James on 12-11-24
By: Randall Munroe
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The Second Book of General Ignorance
- Everything You Think You Know Is (Still) Wrong
- By: John Lloyd, John Mitchinson
- Narrated by: Julian Elfer
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Just when you thought that it was safe to start showing off again, John Lloyd and John Mitchinson are back with another busload of mistakes and misunderstandings. Here is a new collection of simple, perfectly obvious questions you'll be quite certain you know the answers to. Whether it's history, science, sports, geography, literature, language, medicine, the classics, or common wisdom, you'll be astonished to discover that everything you thought you knew is still hopelessly wrong.
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It's all stuff from QI
- By Bonnie Kennedy on 04-07-21
By: John Lloyd, and others
What listeners say about And Then You're Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Parkerfu
- 05-24-19
Fun...
Interesting and fun, but the authors spent a lot of time talking about what happens to you in different outer space scenarios. I would have liked some more real-life actual scenarios, but, overall, it was fun, light listening.
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5 people found this helpful
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- mbmac
- 12-27-19
I want more!!!
This book is hilarious and morbid, probably the best combination of qualities for a story to possess. SEQUEL PLEASE!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- ED
- 08-19-21
Totally fun!
The info is illuminating and at times unbelievable, delivered in a fun way through the wry humor of the narrator.
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- Jewel62014
- 12-27-22
Funny and entertaining
It’s rare to find something educational and funny all in the same place. This book handles that very well. Funny education and entertaining all in the same place.
Definitely worth the listen and the read. The reader has a slightly monotonous accent which makes the book a little less funny but it doesn’t ruin the value.
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- Josh
- 08-14-17
Awesome Book
This is the best book I've listen to regarding random facts. I loved it.. I would highly recommend it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- S. T. McCormick
- 12-26-19
Hilarious and fascinating. Best in small doses
Highly entertaining. I'm in awe of the sheer amount of research that must have gone into creating this book. Each chapter is absolutely jam-packed with info and humor, and the narrator does a fantastic job delivering a deadpan reading of the book—allowing the text to shine, but adding just the right amount of humor to complement the script. In someone else's hands, this book wouldn't have worked as well. So, props to the authors and narrator. My only complaint—if you can call it that— is that this book is so loaded with information that it gets a tad overwhelming. Listen to it in several 20-minute session and you'll love it. It's great for walking the dog.
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- JoAnn
- 11-23-22
Loved it!
Just lots of fun listening to all the strange ways you could die. I recommend it
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- Debra Bennett
- 04-22-24
Interesting information!
We listened to this while we were on a road trip. It was so entertaining and some of the descriptions for different things made us laugh. I recommend listening to this sure you will learn a lot of things, but you never knew or even thought of but they’ve put it all together for you!!
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- LizRusso
- 05-02-23
Entertaining
This book was charming and hilarious. I loved the narrator and the content. I would recommend this for anyone with morbid curiosity and semi-dark humor.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sylvia
- 04-02-24
Fun and interesting! Perfect narrator!
Just finished this short, unusual book. I think it's probably better narrated (on audible.com) than read silently. The narrator is very good and amusing in his delivery. It was written by a scientist and uses real life examples, when they are available. Pretty darn interesting! I really enjoyed it!
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