Preview

Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Baby's First Book of Seriously F--ked-Up Shit

By: Robert Devereaux
Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
Try for $0.00

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $19.95

Buy for $19.95

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's summary

Lambent Light Publishing presents nine stories of the strange, the gross, and the just plain f--ked up from Robert Devereaux, one of the most original voices in fantastic fiction.

  • “Showdown at Stinking Springs” - A tall-tale faceoff in a dusty town. No guns drawn, just two seductive sex-slingers pitched against each other in a town due to be consumed in a series of libido-whipped firestorms.
  • “Clap If You Believe” - When Alex courts a winged pixie no taller than his index finger, it falls to her normal-sized parents to determine if he’s the right kind of weirdo to properly love and care for their daughter.
  • “Ridi, Bobo” - Clown noir told strictly in mime. A cheating wife, her suspicious husband, two young sons, and a weepy-faced detective spin this tragic tale of the Big Top.
  • “Lil’ Miss Ultrasound” - A beauty contest for third-trimester fetuses, ferocious competition among their pregnant moms, and a judge with a most peculiar perversion indeed.
  • “Bucky Goes to Church” - A young teen takes his revenge on a bullying town, only to receive an unexpected visit from God Almighty herself.
  • “Fructus in Eden” - Suppose Adam and Eve had been forgiven their first transgression. And their second transgression. This Edenic foursome might have been the result.
  • “One Flesh: A Cautionary Tale” - A savage tale loaded with unspeakable acts as a reincarnated - or so they believe - father-and-son pair spars over the choicest body parts of their widows.
  • “The Slobbering Tongue That Ate the Frightfully Huge Woman” - A story that pays homage to the B-movie schlock shown at '50s and '60s drive-ins. Climax: a human dildo at the Grand Canyon.
  • “Holy Fast, Holy Feast” - Gurus, zombies, and young folk trying to survive in downtown Montreal struggle in this metafictional stew of love, lust, and terror.

Edoardo Ballerini, two-time Audie award winner as best male narrator, lends his considerable talents to these twisted tales of horror and dark fantasy.

©2013 Robert Devereaux (P)2020 Robert Devereaux
activate_Holiday_promo_in_buybox_DT_T2

What listeners say about Baby's First Book of Seriously F--ked-Up Shit

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    6
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    4
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

Exactly as advertised

A wonderfully bizarre mix of erotica and violence
The narrator does an excellent job with this one
If you’re looking for a different experience the title says it all
I received a free review audiobook and voluntarily left this review

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

Baby is going to love this

I can’t figure out this if I hate or love the title of this one. It did put me off on reading it for a while because…I don’t know why…

It has grown on me however mostly because it was really f'n good. Really f’n good.

The writing was crisp, stories paced perfectly and of course it had plenty of seriously f***ed-up sh*t. Just the way I like it.

A carousel of cruelty, pizza topping cheek flesh, boobies - nature’s bounty, clown anatomy lessons, sexing Tink, melting strawberry popsicles, failed vulvectomy and a bucket of crimson confetti.

Yep. Seriously f***ed-up sh*t.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful