Dragons were dying. All over the world, a curse was taking us out one by one, and nobody knew how to stop it. I watched my mother burn, I watched my little brother fall sick. That's when Robby practically falls into my lap, with his big brown eyes and charming smile and his penchant for being hunted by vampires. After saving him twice from certain death, we soon come to realize that there's a reason he's being hunted. And that reason may be the answer to all our problems, and the start to a whole new set of them.

Big City is supposedly the place where dreams come true. As someone just trying to live my life, I can tell you it’s more like a recurring nightmare where dreams get c*ckblocked at every turn. Especially if you’re a supervillain like me. The irony is that I have zero powers, despite coming from purebred villain stock, but try telling that to Big City’s beloved hero, Captain Masculine.

There's an honesty in the turning of the earth, in the turning of the seasons, and I've always preferred its quiet, steadfast company over that of other people. Left alone with an inherited cottage and my beloved pup Rotho to look after, my days are largely given to tending the garden, save for periodic errands in town.

I don't ask for much from life; I get paid, and then I get laid. And piloting spaceships across the galaxy keeps my solo lifestyle well-funded. I don't need a relationship or any of the baggage that comes with it. I like my men like I like my coffee; to go. That is, until the most boring job in the universe goes horribly wrong and I'm snatched from my ship by a seven-foot alien. He's huge, he's purple, and he's ripped as hell. I'm sure I'm a dead man. Only it turns out he doesn't want to kill me. What he wants is far worse.

At least that's what I tell myself when I witness the same hot guy commit mass murder three times in a few days. I'm either the luckiest mute boy ever or possibly the unluckiest. Who knows, maybe him kidnapping me will turn into the greatest love story ever told? Hey, it could happen! You never know how these things will turn out. I happen to believe in love and soulmates, and if nothing else, Arlington Fox doesn't treat my disability like a nuisance.