Birds Aren't Real
The True Story of Mass Avian Murder and the Largest Surveillance Campaign in US History
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Narrated by:
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Connor Gaydos
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Peter McIndoe
About this listen
This program is read by the authors.
The true story of the greatest conspiracy in US history—and how to fight back.
Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? No one has, not in many, many years. They used to be everywhere. You couldn’t walk out of your front door in New York City in the 1930s without seeing dozens of those little guys scurrying around. Today, there are millions of grown up pigeons in New York, but not a baby pigeon to be seen. That’s because they come out of the factory as adults.
This is one of the many smoking guns of the bird drone surveillance crisis. Since 1959, the Deep State has mercilessly slaughtered over 12 billion birds and replaced them with identical drones that are designed to spy on private citizens and report their every action directly to the government. From pet canaries to Sesame Street, the shadowy figures that pull the strings have infiltrated every aspect of our society, making a mockery of civil liberties while the American people live in blissful ignorance. Until now.
In Birds Aren’t Real, whistleblowers Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos trace the roots of a political conspiracy so vast and well-hidden that it almost seems like an elaborate hoax. These hero Bird Truthers have risked life and limb to compile and disseminate a treasure trove of information about the origins of the surveillance crisis, its spread, and the patriots who are on the front lines today, raising awareness and working to reclaim America as the land of the free. This urgent manifesto features a host of useful illustrations, activities, and leaked classified documents that will convince even the most outspoken skeptic that birds aren’t real. The truth is out there: will you stand and fight before it’s too late?
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
©2024 Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos (P)2024 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“More than a million people have become followers of a conspiracy theory that birds aren’t real…[the movement] mirrors some of the absurdity that has taken flight across the country.”—60 Minutes
“This is Gen Z’s attempt to upend the rabbit hole with absurdism.”—New York Times
“The most perfect, playful distillation of where we are in relation to the media landscape we’ve built but can’t control…It’s a conspiracy-within-a-conspiracy.”—The Guardian
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- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
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American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.
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Based on extensive archival research on both sides of the Atlantic, Tripped is a wild, unconventional postwar history, a spiritual sequel to Norman Ohler’s New York Times bestseller Blitzed. Revealing the close relationship and hidden connections between the Nazis and the early days of drugs in America, Ohler shares how this secret history held back therapeutic research of psychedelic drugs for decades and eventually became part of the foundation of America’s War on Drugs.
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What a wonderful read
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What listeners say about Birds Aren't Real
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Guti
- 07-28-24
Would have loved to like this
The book is kind of funny, it got me a few laughs but overall it’s not a great book. The joke grows old super fast
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- Lucas
- 09-26-24
very solid dry humor for a light read, good on a road trip or something like that.
funny well performed comedy about conspiracies, a bit weak in the back 1/3rd or so, but otherwise few complaints
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- That Guy From the Video Store
- 06-06-24
I love that they committed to the bit.
No evolution in the story made it feel a little repetitive, but I love that they committed to the bit rather than reworking it to make the book a little more dynamic.
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1 person found this helpful
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- J. C.
- 06-13-24
disappointed
I wanted to like this but not as funny as I'd hoped.
some of the jokes were pretty funny but most of them fell flat.
I don't regret purchasing it because I'm happy to support these guys who do an otherwise fantastic job on the Birds Aren't Real meme. I just think they may have to take a different approach when writing a book.
I think a different narrator might help. I know the authors are usually the best but this might have been funnier with somone who was better at a serious and deadpan delivery.
I still love you guys and no regrets on the purchase but I think you can do better.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-02-24
The truth we needed
The single most important exposé in the history of the United States. I cannot overstate how crucial the information in this book is to forming a correct understanding of the world around us. Never forget: There is bird propaganda all around us. if it flies it spies. Bird watching goes both ways. Spread the word!!!!!
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- Roger Bowersox
- 06-04-24
Confirmation of the greatest government conspiracy.
Confirmation of the greatest government conspiracy. Those of us who know will follow the instructions here to end the drones and bring back the burbs.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Mathias farnsworth
- 06-18-24
The truth is out for those who seek it
The overall book was interesting and funny explaining of the government take over the truth. The vail of government lies exposed
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chris V.
- 07-08-24
the truth will set you freer than birds
this should be free to spread the truth. perhaps this is a trap. perhaps it is a cash grab. either way, shut up and take my money level "informative".
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1 person found this helpful
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- cierra davis
- 10-27-24
Decent
Very Funny but a good listen. I struggle towards the end, trying to not skip forward.
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- Matt Garcia
- 10-21-24
Funny but a little too much satire toward the end
Funny but started to get ridiculous at the end. I finished it but struggled in the last hour or so. But definitely got several out loud chuckles!
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