Consider Your Ass Kissed
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Narrated by:
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Ruta Lee
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By:
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Ruta Lee
About this listen
Ruta Lee’s memoir is a treasure trove of wonderful personal stories and anecdotes with rare firsthand and authentic memories of the entertainment industry.
Ruta Lee is Hollywood! She tells the fascinating stories of her life as a rising star in the golden years of Hollywood, a career that spans seven decades. You will meet the famous actors, dancers, and singers who are now legends that Ruta worked with and whose stories of life behind the scenes intertwined with Ruta’s. The stories of Ruta’s life are told here with truth, with humor, and with an honesty that is Ruta Lee.
In Consider Your Ass Kissed, Ruta discusses her starring roles in films such as Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Funny Face, Bullet for a Badman, Witness for the Prosecution, and Sergeants 3.
Ruta has worked with Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds, Charles Bronson, James Garner, Johnny Carson, Fred Astaire, Robin Williams, Howard Keel, Bob Crane, Frank Sinatra, and the rest of the Rat Pack—the list goes on! The iconic ladies she called friends include Rona Barrett, Phyllis Diller, Julie Newmar, Lucille Ball, Sally Fields, Gypsy Rose Lee (no relation), and her best friend and founder of Thalians, Debbie Reynolds.
During Ruta’s thriving film career, she launched into television success with more than 2,000 appearances, starring and guest starring in shows like Perry Mason, the George Burns and Gracie Allen show, the Andy Griffith show, Dragnet, Peter Gun, Bonanza, Gunsmoke, Rawhide, Marcus Welby MD, The Twilight Zone, Ironside, The Flying Nun, Hogan’s Heroes, Mork & Mindy, Benson, The Love Boat, Murder She Wrote, Roseanne, Days of Our Lives, Power Rangers, and, of course, 77 Sunset Strip and The Lucy Show. She even auditioned for the role of Ginger on Gilligan’s Island.
Lee was also cohost on NBC’s High Rollers with Alex Trebek, a regular on Hollywood Squares with Peter Marshall, and made several television movies. She had series leads in CBS’ Coming of Age and HBO’s 1st and Ten. Her stints on the Bonnie Hunt Show remain among her favorites.
Thalians founder Debbie Reynolds and Ruta were the Leading Ladies of “Hollywood for Mental Health” and raised millions for The Thalians Mental Health Center with star-studded events.
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At 95, the legendary Mel Brooks continues to set the standard for comedy across television, film, and the stage. Now, for the first time, this EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) winner shares his story in his own words.
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Wonderful and nostalgic
- By GAT on 12-07-21
By: Mel Brooks
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Pieces of My Heart
- A Life
- By: Robert J. Wagner
- Narrated by: Robert J. Wagner
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Abridged
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Robert J. Wagner has starred in more than 100 films and television series over the past 50 years. In this deeply personal story, he recalls his rise to stardom. He talks candidly about his relationships with some of the greatest stars of the 20th century, including Clark Gable, Spencer Tracy, Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Barbara Stanwyck, and, for the first time, he shares the details of his two marriages to Natalie Wood. Wagner also offers a fascinating look at Hollywood during the last half of the 20th century.
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Wagner's life, told in a gracious manner
- By Chris on 12-18-08
By: Robert J. Wagner
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I Only Know Who I Am When I Am Somebody Else
- My Life on the Street, on the Stage, and in the Movies
- By: Danny Aiello, Gil Reavill
- Narrated by: Danny Aiello
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Beloved stage and screen actor Danny Aiello’s big-hearted memoir reveals a man of passion, integrity, and guts - and lays bare one of the most unlikely success stories ever told. Danny Aiello admits that he backed into his acting career by mistake. That’s easy to see when you begin at the beginning: Raised by his loving and fiercely resilient mother in the tenements of Manhattan and the South Bronx, and forever haunted by the death of his infant brother, Danny struggled early on to define who he was and who he could be.
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I want to give Danny Aiello a big hug.
- By Mari K. on 01-22-15
By: Danny Aiello, and others
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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The Mother of Black Hollywood
- A Memoir
- By: Jenifer Lewis
- Narrated by: Jenifer Lewis
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenifer Lewis keeps it real in this provocative and touching memoir by a Midwestern girl with a dream whose journey from poverty to Hollywood will move, shock, and inspire listeners. Told in the audacious voice her fans adore, Jenifer describes a road to fame made treacherous by dysfunction and undiagnosed mental illness, including a sex addiction. Yet, supported by loving friends and strengthened by "inner soldiers", Jenifer never stopped entertaining and creating.
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I could barely finish it.
- By Manning Fam on 06-17-18
By: Jenifer Lewis
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Not Young, Still Restless
- A Memoir
- By: Jeanne Cooper
- Narrated by: Jeanne Cooper
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The long-awaited memoir from one of daytime television's most celebrated and beloved actresses.
Three or four days a week, Jeanne Cooper drives from her Hollywood Hills home to the job she's held for more than three decades: bringing life to the character of Katherine Chancellor, the outspoken, powerful, and insanely wealthy force of nature who, along with Jeanne herself, has become a legend in the world of daytime television and its number-one show, The Young and the Restless. Now, for the first time, her fans will get to know the woman behind the iconic character.
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Grand Dame of soaps
- By Harry R. on 01-07-15
By: Jeanne Cooper
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You Might Remember Me
- The Life and Times of Phil Hartman
- By: Mike Thomas
- Narrated by: Corey Snow
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Both joyous tribute and serious biography, Mike Thomas' You Might Remember Me is a celebration of Phil Hartman's multi-faceted career and an exhaustively reported, warts-and-all examination of his often intriguing and sometimes complicated life - a powerful, humor-filled and disquieting portrait of a man who was loved by many, admired by millions and taken from them far too early.
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I Will Remember You Phil Hartman
- By Roxanna on 12-19-14
By: Mike Thomas
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I Blame Dennis Hopper
- And Other Stories from a Life Lived in and out of the Movies
- By: Illeana Douglas
- Narrated by: Illeana Douglas
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1969, Illeana Douglas' parents saw the film Easy Rider and were transformed. Taking Dennis Hopper's words - "That's what it's all about, man" - to heart, they abandoned their comfortable upper-middle-class life and gave Illeana a childhood filled with hippies, goats, free spirits, and free love. Illeana writes, "Since it was all out of my control, I began to think of my life as a movie, with a Dennis Hopper-like father at the center of it." I Blame Dennis Hopper is a rollicking, funny, at times tender exploration of the way movies can change our lives.
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Loved Every Moment of this Book!
- By Susan Van Allen on 01-20-16
By: Illeana Douglas
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In Black and White
- The Life of Sammy Davis, Jr.
- By: Wil Haygood
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 23 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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This biography of entertainment legend Sammy Davis, Jr. is an enthralling portrait of one of the most recognizable figures from the golden age of American show business. Davis, a guarded man who protected his private life with great vigor, lived an extraordinary life in the limelight, while also forging new uncharted paths across racial lines.
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Sammy Plus
- By James Gordon on 07-02-06
By: Wil Haygood
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By Myself and Then Some
- By: Lauren Bacall
- Narrated by: Lauren Bacall
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Abridged
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The epitome of grace, independence, and wit, Lauren Bacall continues to astound generations with her audacious spirit and on-screen excellence. Together with Humphrey Bogart, she produced some of the most electric scenes in movie history, and their romance on and off screen made them Hollywood's most celebrated couple.
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Wish it had been unabridged
- By Grace on 04-28-14
By: Lauren Bacall
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A Little Bit Wicked
- Life, Love, and Faith in Stages
- By: Kristin Chenoweth
- Narrated by: Kristin Chenoweth
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this frank and funny memoir, the Tony Award-winning star of stage and screen shares her journey from small-town Oklahoma to big-time Broadway, vamping on what it takes to stand firmly on a foundation of family and faith while wearing a hot pair of Jimmy Choo platform sling-backs.
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Salt of the Earth + Sparkles
- By Holly on 10-01-09
What listeners say about Consider Your Ass Kissed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John
- 01-10-24
Revealing her touching life’s story!
This was a book that I couldn’t wait to read. Ruta Lee is a living icon (as of 2024) & was everywhere in my formative years - and beyond. She tells her life story in a professional, detailed & humorous way, that only Ruta can deliver. She’s from the “old school” of Hollywood & TV where only hard work would make you successful. With only one exception (!) she ALWAYS showed up. And boy does she deliver! She was in (almost) every major production in the 1960’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and beyond. She tell’s about her times with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack with unflinching honesty. Her stories about the Thalians & her bestie Debbie Reynolds revealed both her philanthropic and hard working ethic. How she got her grandmother from communist Lithuania to America is a testament to her tenacity & love of family. Plus the full story of her life’s love husband will warm your romantic heart. So glad that Ruta found the love that she deserved! Also her love of animals, esp. her many dogs, is another example of her caring tender heart that may not otherwise be seen under her hard working, professional (& beautiful) exterior. What a joy to see life from a true icon’s view! Thank you Ruta - and whomever is interested in these eras and Hollywood from a wonderful woman’s view, this is for you! And to Ruta, I wish that I could meet you & give you a big warm hug of thanks for all that you’ve done. You are one of the greatest and deserve all of the best in life - as you’ve given to others! Brava Ruta!
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- B. Norber
- 04-28-22
Ruta Lee is a joy. She’s had quite a life and she tells it all!
Ruta Lee is a strong, talented and funny woman with quite a history. Her stories are not only juicy but also important, interesting and worthwhile. Her story concerning her perseverance about getting her Grandmother out of Siberia is enough to make you realize this is a woman to be reckoned with. She is not only interesting but grateful which is lovely to hear. You will be privy to her opinion on everything from Frank Sinatra’s “manhood” to the enormous heart of Debbie Reynolds. Her charitable work is profound, spectacular and a gift to this world. To hear of her dedication to the Thalians along with Debbie Reynolds as president, chairman, co president and everything in between is enough to earn her the respect of everyone on this planet. But as you know, there’s much more to this energetic, positive, beautiful, talented dynamo. There’s movies like SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS, WITNESS FOR THE PROSECUTION and MANY MORE. There’s more episodic TV shows that I could possibly write here in this space. There’s enough game shows and interview shows to fill Fort Knox and that doesn’t cover the years and years of staring in numerous regional theatre productions (Did you know that she was courted to replace Elaine Stritch in the original Broadway company of…COMPANY?) She’s funny, she’s straight forward, she’s a hoot and she’s the real thing! Some (as well as she herself) refer to her as a great broad (she doesn’t use the great before broad but others do). She’s salty and profound and wise and funny and has a list of dear friends that reads like a who’s who of Hollywood. And she’s got memories of all of them. I thoroughly enjoyed this wonderful book. If you have a love of classic movies, classic TV, charitable organizations that change the world and make lives better for those in need, have a deep love of family and friends or Just plain love some GREAT STORIES…you will love this book as well.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Susannah
- 08-07-22
Light but warm-hearted Autobiography
My mom used to love to watch Miss Ruta on all the game shows. It's a fun listen to hear the author talk about her life in her own sexy voice. Lots of fun, backstage background on her. I wearied a bit with the name dropping, and how EVERYONE is a "very good friend." She could have benefited by the use of a savvy book editor. Her strong commitment to her Lithuanian background is what drew me to the piece. It was a light, pleasant listen.
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- Justin Clark
- 04-10-24
She is so funny entertaining just a wonderfully pleasant person 
I loved the way she spoke about her husband Webb. I loved the stuff about Frank Sinatra and Lucille Ball. I’d love the jokes the funny witty.

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- Heidi Hubbs
- 08-05-23
Loved It!
I felt like I was sitting across the table from this legend as she shared stories of her family, how she got started in the movies, and how she found the lover her life, Webb.
Also, if you’re interested in “old” Hollywood, this is a fun book. Ruta shares some great stories involving her and some celebrity “A” listers.
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-12-23
Light & funny book
Entertaining, light and funny memoir. Book contains bunch little stories from her life.
Loved Rutas’ voice, she easily can narrate more books:)
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- Pete A Turner
- 12-03-23
The Legend Pack it all into her Book
Ruta is exactly as she seems. She’s a wonderful, kind and lovely human. She is the best!!! You will love this book.
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- C
- 08-12-22
Atrocious
I’ve listen to dozens of memoirs read by the author, this is the least enjoyable one I’ve ever experienced. I found her arrogant and laughably ridiculous. Her flowery over sold style feels off putting and insincere. She’s had some interesting experiences but thats overshadowed by her delivery and attitude.
By contrast, Joan Collins’s recent memoir is the opposite experience. She came off as sincere, humorous, at times self deprecating, and a very human individual. I was left regretting the time spent listening to her outdated golden days of yore mumbling.
R.L. is the queen of cameos, a real Legend. Just ask her, she’ll tell you.
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- Poopsy
- 05-15-22
Narration great, content a little light
Narration by author was great. The content was interesting when Ruta spoke of her own life but then it also falls back on providing a laundry list of "best friends", a recital of who she knows...ok but not particularly interesting.
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1 person found this helpful