Lies My Mother Told Me
The World According to Joan
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Rivers
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By:
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Melissa Rivers
About this listen
If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things onstage, wait 'til you hear the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said offstage...things that will make you laugh out loud...and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future. The only thing my mother loved more than making people laugh was lying...or as she'd say, "embellishing." Her motto was: "Why let the truth ruin a good story?" This book contains some of those stories.
©2022 Melissa Rivers (P)2022 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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A Fine Romance
- By: Candice Bergen
- Narrated by: Candice Bergen
- Length: 14 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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A Fine Romance begins with Bergen's charming first husband, French director Louis Malle, whose huge appetite for life broadened her horizons and whose occasional darkness never diminished their love for each other. But her real romance begins when she discovers overpowering love for her daughter after years of ambivalence about motherhood.
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up the speed to 1.5 and Candace sounds way better
- By Susan M. Mitchell on 06-03-15
By: Candice Bergen
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Love Joan and Melissa but the book misses the mark
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Great Easy Read
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In their star-studded memoir, Hollywood Lights, Nashville Nights, coauthors Victoria Hallman and Diana Goodman are the first of the iconic Hee Haw Honeys to write about their lives as the glamour gals of TV's longest-running syndicated variety show.
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Nice but a mystery, lol
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Could have been better
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Hello, Gorgeous
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In 1960, she was a 17-year-old Brooklyn kid with plenty of talent but no connections and certainly no money; her mother brought her soup to make sure she stayed fed as she took acting classes and scraped out a living. Just four years later, Barbra Streisand was the top-selling female recording artist in America and the star of one of Broadway’s biggest hits. Now the acclaimed Hollywood biographer William Mann chronicles that dizzying ascent, telling the riveting behind-the-scenes story of how Streisand and her team transformed her from an unknown dreamer into a worldwide superstar.
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Narration needs improving!
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George Michael
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George Michael was an extravagantly gifted, openhearted soul singer whose work was both pained and smolderingly erotic. He was a songwriter of true craft and substance, and his music swept the world, starting in the mid-1980s. His fabricated image—that of a hypermacho sex god—loomed large in the pop culture of his day. It also hid—for a time—the secret he fought against revealing: Michael was gay. George Michael: A Life explores the compelling story of a superstar whose struggles, as well as his songs, continue to touch fans all over the world.
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A Definitive Biography
- By Anonymous User on 10-09-22
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City of Nets
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In 1939, 50 million Americans went to the movies every week, Louis B. Mayer was the highest-paid man in the country, and Hollywood produced 530 feature films a year. One decade and five thousand movies later, the studios were faltering....
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Disjointed and flawed
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By: Otto Friedrich, and others
What listeners say about Lies My Mother Told Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dr Joseph Borreggine
- 12-06-22
Why would she lie?
An interesting look into the life of Joan Rivers through her daughter’s eyes. A book full of tall tales that were contrived by Joan Rivers to soothe Melissa’s curiosity not only as child growing up with one of the greatest comediennes of our time, but to also entertain not only her daughter, but the reader as well. An excellent fast read full of comedic anecdotal stories about everything according to Joan for all to enjoy!
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- Rita
- 05-11-22
Loved the book
It made me laugh. I really enjoyed the book. Two thumbs up to Melissa Rivers for writing the book reading it. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I highly recommend it.
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- Aimee Leon
- 10-25-22
A Must Read..
I loved this audiobook from beginning to the end. Melissa Rivers has done a lovely job in narrating it and a terrific homage to her mother. Joan Rivers was a true comic legend, & is dearly missed.
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- Sean
- 04-14-22
If your a fan of Joan’s stories then you’ll enjoy the listen.
Written very much in the style of Joan’s “Diary of a Mad Diva” book. Funny listen and Melissa’s story telling can put a joke in Joan fashion for the listener.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Angela Smitherman
- 05-23-23
Hilarious
Loved this book from beginning to end. Melissa is hilarious. Have listened 4x now FUNNY
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- Kristopher's Korner
- 05-22-22
A fun book to make you smile
This is a fun book that makes at least smile if not laugh out laud. I hope Melissa write a memoir some day for real.
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- David Ollie
- 07-06-22
Melissa is amazing!
To Melissa, “Was great hearing about your son and you dear mother!” Loved it! I hope to hear more from Melissa in the future.
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- Jeff T Allen
- 11-02-24
Humorous and Heartfelt!
I loved everything about this book. Kudos Melissa! The dynamics of mother and daughter made me reflect upon my own growing up Catholic. Thank you for sharing the laughter and love.
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- Mal
- 04-16-22
Oh no! Sooooo bad!
This is sad, rushed, full of tired quips.. Trying to copy her mothers sharpe witted humor, the author fails. I’m only 30 minutes in but I find it very tedious. I’ll give it another 30 minutes but if it doesn’t improve I’ll need to return it. The sad attempts at humor are just tedious and the attempts at mimicking her mothers humor fail. All my opinion of course. There’s also an element of sarcasm which is unflattering and tired.
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- Julie Lane
- 05-05-22
Melissa has Joan’s sense of humor
Very entertaining and a quick listen. If you loved Joan Rivers sense of humor, you will enjoy this. A nice change of pace from all the political books that consume me.
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