If you were big and ugly, had a ton of sharp teeth, and a truly enormous appetite, you wouldn't need the "magic word" either! These stories for kids, from acclaimed storytelling songster Bill Harley, center around the theme of being small.

The Teachers' Lounge is Bill Harley's newest spoken word recording: a collection of hilarious and dead-on observations about life in elementary school. On this latest recording, two richly detailed and plotted stories of his school experiences ("The Teachers' Lounge" and "The Science Fair") are coupled with three poems.

In this collection, Harley, one of today's most prolific and celebrated kid's performers, explores the troublesome and troublemaking times in our life (particularly between 4th grade and middle school). Hear him sing with his trademark hilarity "In the Back of the Bus" and perform "Bottlecaps" (about the confiscation of his world-class bottlecap collection) and "Mr. Anderson," who was Indiana State Bus Driver of the Year (an honor brought upon mostly because he had eyes in the back of his head).

Here it is! The recording fans have been asking for! A recording that contains the hilarious and completely captivating tale of Dirty Joe, a pirate who steals socks, and his equally odious sister, Stinky Annie, who steals underwear.

In Lunchroom Tales, Bill Harley and his band - the Troublemakers - return to the Delaware Trails Elementary School where Bill once roamed the halls as a student. They kick off their show with the song "Everyone's a Little Bit Different" - but soon, memories get the best of Bill, and he begins to recount adventures and disasters from his former days of glory (or was it torture?). Meet Mr. Hambleman, the custodian (not janitor!) and Mrs. Nottingham, the terrifying 3rd grade teacher (are teachers human, or are they a different species?), explore super cool places like the back of the bus, and enjoy Harley's engaging recreation - through song and story - of what it feels like to be a kid in school.

Audiences often ask Bill Harley if his stories are true. The answer is both "yes" and "no." While Harley does recall vividly the sights and scents of the lunchroom, he says "Mrs. Lunchroom Lady" is a story about names. Meanwhile, "Weezie" is a folktale many will recognize. It's based on a traditional tale found in many cultures - in Mexico it's called "The Day It Snowed Tortillas."

Bill Harley's 2003 recording is a very special collection of songs and stories for bedtime about a wonderful and wacky imaginary place, The Town Around the Bend. Harley's long-established humor, meaning, and music are toned down for the quiet time right before the eyes close and the world rests.

A Grammy-nominated recording artist, Bill Harley - songwriter, storyteller, author, playwright - is known as one of the finest family performers in the United States. His unique combination of song and story, silly and serious, has entertained families for 20 years, and led him to be called "the Mark Twain of contemporary children's music" by Entertainment Weekly.

When robot Roz opens her eyes for the first time, she discovers that she is alone on a remote, wild island. Why is she there? Where did she come from? And, most important, how will she survive in her harsh surroundings? Roz's only hope is to learn from the island's hostile animal inhabitants. When she tries to care for an orphaned gosling, the other animals finally decide to help, and the island starts to feel like home. Until one day, the robot's mysterious past comes back to haunt her....

Whether performing his original tales or retelling an old classic, Bill Harley is one of the liveliest acts going in storytelling for kids. You'll hear a story about a little girl named Sarah as well as Harley's take on what might happen if a kid stayed up all night (something he never got to do as a child) and his version of the old English folktale "Fox's Sack."