
Don't Point That Thing at Me
A Charlie Mortdecai Mystery
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed

Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $9.77
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Simon Prebble
About this listen
With his thuggish manservant, the incomparably named Jock Strapp, Mortdecai endures all manner of nastiness involving stolen paintings, a vintage Rolls Royce, secret police, a whirlwind trip to the United States, a dead client, and a ravishing and wealthy young widow, all to make a dishonest living. He's not one to pass up a drink, and he prides himself on being stylishly dressed for whatever occasion may present itself, no matter how debauched. Don't miss this brilliant mixture of comedy, crime, and suspense.
©1972 Kyril Bonfiglioli (P)2005 Blackstone AudiobooksListeners also enjoyed...
-
The Case of the Canterfell Codicil
- The Anty Boisjoly Mysteries, Book 1
- By: PJ Fitzsimmons
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There’s a literary niche for all tastes including those who think that either Agatha Christie wasn’t funny enough or that PG Wodehouse didn’t feature anywhere near as many baffling murders as he could have. The Case of the Canterfell Codicil is a classic, cozy, locked-room mystery written in the style of an homage to PG Wodehouse.
-
-
Relaxing old fashioned mystery
- By Laurie S on 11-01-22
By: PJ Fitzsimmons
-
The Josephine Tey Collection: 6 Alan Grant Novels; Brat Farrar; & Miss Pym Disposes
- The Man in the Queue; A Shilling for Candles; The Franchise Affair; To Love and Be Wise; The Daughter of Time; The Singing Sands; Miss Pym Disposes; Brat Farrar
- By: Josephine Tey
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 61 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Josephine Tey Collection includes unabridged recordings of Tey's 8 major novels in one audiobook, including all 6 of the novels in the Inspector Alan Grant series.
-
-
Thank you Audible - best spent credit ever
- By Lynn on 05-14-23
By: Josephine Tey
-
The House in the Woods
- Atticus Priest, Book 1
- By: Mark Dawson
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On Christmas Eve, DCI Mackenzie Jones is called to a shooting at a remote farmhouse. Ralph Mallender believes his father lies dead inside. When three more bodies are discovered, it's clear a festive family gathering has turned into a gruesome tragedy. At first it seems like an open and shut case: a murder suicide committed by Ralph's volatile brother Cameron. Then new evidence makes Mack suspect the man who reported the crime is in fact the perpetrator. But Mack isn't the only one with a stake in the case.
-
-
Pure reading enjoyment
- By VA Barnhill - Author on 06-10-20
By: Mark Dawson
-
The Engine House: A Black Beacons Murder Mystery
- DCI Evan Warlow Crime Thriller, Book 1
- By: Rhys Dylan
- Narrated by: Joseph Tweedale
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a landslip on Pembrokeshire’s stunning coastal path reveals the harrowing remains of two bodies, ex-DCI Evan Warlow’s quiet retirement is shattered.
-
-
Captivating!
- By Lori on 10-15-23
By: Rhys Dylan
-
Lucky Jim
- By: Kingsley Amis
- Narrated by: James Lailey
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the story of Jim Dixon, a hapless lecturer in medieval history at a provincial university who knows better than most that “there was no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones.” Kingsley Amis’s scabrous debut leads the audience through a gallery of emphatically English bores, cranks, frauds, and neurotics with whom Dixon must contend in one way or another in order to hold on to his cushy academic perch and win the girl of his fancy.
-
-
Satisfactory, but a Bit Stale
- By SandyK on 07-18-23
By: Kingsley Amis
-
Twice Shy
- By: Dick Francis
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dick Francis’ witty blend of horseplay and mystery is an incredible combination. As a result, each of his equestrian novels gallops onto best-seller lists. In Twice Shy, Dick Francis whips up a fast-paced race through the risky world of horse betting. It begins when, offering little explanation, a friend thrusts some cassette tapes into Jonathan Derry’s hands. But when the young man tries to play them, he realizes that, instead of “Oklahoma!”, he’s been given taped computer programs.
-
-
Another Dick Francis masterpiece!
- By Crystal Hatley on 11-02-16
By: Dick Francis
-
The Case of the Canterfell Codicil
- The Anty Boisjoly Mysteries, Book 1
- By: PJ Fitzsimmons
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There’s a literary niche for all tastes including those who think that either Agatha Christie wasn’t funny enough or that PG Wodehouse didn’t feature anywhere near as many baffling murders as he could have. The Case of the Canterfell Codicil is a classic, cozy, locked-room mystery written in the style of an homage to PG Wodehouse.
-
-
Relaxing old fashioned mystery
- By Laurie S on 11-01-22
By: PJ Fitzsimmons
-
The Josephine Tey Collection: 6 Alan Grant Novels; Brat Farrar; & Miss Pym Disposes
- The Man in the Queue; A Shilling for Candles; The Franchise Affair; To Love and Be Wise; The Daughter of Time; The Singing Sands; Miss Pym Disposes; Brat Farrar
- By: Josephine Tey
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 61 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Josephine Tey Collection includes unabridged recordings of Tey's 8 major novels in one audiobook, including all 6 of the novels in the Inspector Alan Grant series.
-
-
Thank you Audible - best spent credit ever
- By Lynn on 05-14-23
By: Josephine Tey
-
The House in the Woods
- Atticus Priest, Book 1
- By: Mark Dawson
- Narrated by: Simon Vance
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On Christmas Eve, DCI Mackenzie Jones is called to a shooting at a remote farmhouse. Ralph Mallender believes his father lies dead inside. When three more bodies are discovered, it's clear a festive family gathering has turned into a gruesome tragedy. At first it seems like an open and shut case: a murder suicide committed by Ralph's volatile brother Cameron. Then new evidence makes Mack suspect the man who reported the crime is in fact the perpetrator. But Mack isn't the only one with a stake in the case.
-
-
Pure reading enjoyment
- By VA Barnhill - Author on 06-10-20
By: Mark Dawson
-
The Engine House: A Black Beacons Murder Mystery
- DCI Evan Warlow Crime Thriller, Book 1
- By: Rhys Dylan
- Narrated by: Joseph Tweedale
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a landslip on Pembrokeshire’s stunning coastal path reveals the harrowing remains of two bodies, ex-DCI Evan Warlow’s quiet retirement is shattered.
-
-
Captivating!
- By Lori on 10-15-23
By: Rhys Dylan
-
Lucky Jim
- By: Kingsley Amis
- Narrated by: James Lailey
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This is the story of Jim Dixon, a hapless lecturer in medieval history at a provincial university who knows better than most that “there was no end to the ways in which nice things are nicer than nasty ones.” Kingsley Amis’s scabrous debut leads the audience through a gallery of emphatically English bores, cranks, frauds, and neurotics with whom Dixon must contend in one way or another in order to hold on to his cushy academic perch and win the girl of his fancy.
-
-
Satisfactory, but a Bit Stale
- By SandyK on 07-18-23
By: Kingsley Amis
-
Twice Shy
- By: Dick Francis
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dick Francis’ witty blend of horseplay and mystery is an incredible combination. As a result, each of his equestrian novels gallops onto best-seller lists. In Twice Shy, Dick Francis whips up a fast-paced race through the risky world of horse betting. It begins when, offering little explanation, a friend thrusts some cassette tapes into Jonathan Derry’s hands. But when the young man tries to play them, he realizes that, instead of “Oklahoma!”, he’s been given taped computer programs.
-
-
Another Dick Francis masterpiece!
- By Crystal Hatley on 11-02-16
By: Dick Francis
-
Being Human: Life Lessons from the Frontiers of Science
- By: Robert Sapolsky, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: The Great Courses
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Understanding our humanity - the essence of who we are - is one of the deepest mysteries and biggest challenges in modern science. Why do we have bad moods? Why are we capable of having such strange dreams? How can metaphors in our language hold such sway on our actions? As we learn more about the mechanisms of human behavior through evolutionary biology, neuroscience, anthropology, and other related fields, we're discovering just how intriguing the human species is.
-
-
Somewhat Interesting but not Quite as Advertised
- By Adam J Duhame on 10-05-13
By: Robert Sapolsky, and others
-
The Terminal List
- A Thriller
- By: Jack Carr
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On his last combat deployment, Lt. Cmdr. James Reece's entire team was killed in an ambush that also claimed the lives of the aircrew sent in to rescue them. But when those dearest to him are murdered on the day of his homecoming, Reece discovers that this was not an act of war by a foreign enemy but a conspiracy that runs to the highest levels of government. Now, with no family and free from the military's command structure, Reece applies the lessons that he's learned in over a decade of constant warfare toward revenge.
-
-
Make way for Jack Carr!!!!
- By shelley on 03-08-18
By: Jack Carr
-
The Wintringham Mystery
- Cicely Disappears
- By: Anthony Berkeley, Tony Medawar
- Narrated by: Mike Grady
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stephen Munro, a demobbed army officer, reconciles himself to taking a job as a footman to make ends meet. Employed at Wintringham Hall, the delightful but decaying Sussex country residence of the elderly Lady Susan Carey, his first task entails welcoming her eccentric guests to a weekend house-party, at which her bombastic nephew—who recognises Stephen from his former life—decides that an after-dinner séance would be more entertaining than bridge. Then Cicely disappears!
-
-
Charming Light-hearted mystery
- By Carolyn on 10-04-21
By: Anthony Berkeley, and others
-
Death at La Fenice
- Commissario Brunetti Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Donna Leon
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
During intermission at the famed La Fenice opera house in Venice, Italy, a notoriously difficult and widely disliked German conductor is poisoned—and suspects abound. Guido Brunetti, a native Venetian, sets out to unravel the mystery behind the high-profile murder. To do so, he calls on his knowledge of Venice, its culture, and its dirty politics. Along the way, he finds the crime may have roots going back decades—and that revenge, corruption, and even Italian cuisine may play a role.
-
-
Hercule Poirot in Venice...!!!
- By Emil Grancagnolo on 10-09-22
By: Donna Leon
-
Billy Summers
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Paul Sparks
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Billy Summers is a man in a room with a gun. He’s a killer for hire and the best in the business. But he’ll do the job only if the target is a truly bad guy. And now Billy wants out. But first there is one last hit. Billy is among the best snipers in the world, a decorated Iraq war vet, a Houdini when it comes to vanishing after the job is done. So what could possibly go wrong?
-
-
Absolutely amazing
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 08-03-21
By: Stephen King
-
A Test of Wills
- By: Charles Todd
- Narrated by: Samuel Giles
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ian Rutledge returns to his career at Scotland Yard after years fighting in the First World War. Unknown to his colleagues he is still suffering from shell shock, and is burdened with the guilt of having had executed a young soldier on the battlefield for refusing to fight. A jealous colleague has learned of his secret and has managed to have Rutledge assigned to a difficult case which could spell disaster for Rutledge whatever the outcome. A retired officer has been murdered, and Rutledge goes to investigate.
-
-
Difficult to follow the narrator
- By Carol on 01-02-13
By: Charles Todd
-
Wayward Galaxy
- Wayward Galaxy, Book 1
- By: Jason Anspach, J. N. Chaney
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A company of Army Rangers is sent on an interstellar colony ship to secure a foothold on a dangerous, alien planet through violence of action. Leaving behind a warring Earth flung headfirst into a conflict of mutual assured destruction, the Rangers and the accompanying crew of first colonists are guided on a 40-year journey by an unprecedented artificial intelligence. But when they emerge from the frigid embrace of cryosleep, they awake to a nightmare, finding themselves greeted by the same ruthless enemy that brought about the ruin of Earth.
-
-
A breath of fresh air
- By Anonymous User on 09-29-20
By: Jason Anspach, and others
-
A Duty to the Dead
- A Bess Crawford Mystery
- By: Charles Todd
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The daughter of a distinguished soldier, Bess Crawford follows in his patriotic footsteps, volunteering to serve her country as a nurse during the Great War. In 1916 she promises Lieutenant Arthur Graham that she will carry his dying request to a brother. When Bess arrives at the Graham house in Kent, Jonathan Graham listens to his brother's last wishes with surprising indifference.
-
-
Terrific period mystery
- By Anne on 12-04-10
By: Charles Todd
-
The Crown Tower (Dramatized Adaptation)
- The Riyria Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Michael J. Sullivan
- Narrated by: Bradley Foster Smith, Chris Genebach, Danny Gavigan, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A warrior with nothing to fight for is paired with a thieving assassin with nothing to lose. Together they must steal a treasure that no one can reach. The Crown Tower is the impregnable remains of the grandest fortress ever built and home to the realm’s most valuable possessions. But it isn’t gold or jewels the old wizard is after, and this prize can only be obtained by the combined talents of two remarkable men. Now if Arcadius can just keep Hadrian and Royce from killing each other, they just might succeed.
-
-
Nope
- By Anonymous User on 10-01-22
-
Steelheart
- The Reckoners, Book 1
- By: Brandon Sanderson
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ten years ago, Calamity came. It was a burst in the sky that gave ordinary men and women extraordinary powers. The awed public started calling them Epics. But Epics are no friend of man. With incredible gifts came the desire to rule. And to rule man you must crush his will. Nobody fights the Epics...nobody but the Reckoners. A shadowy group of ordinary humans, they spend their lives studying Epics, finding their weaknesses, and then assassinating them. And David wants in. He wants Steelheart - the Epic who is said to be invincible. The Epic who killed David's father.
-
-
He got the idea from a near traffic accident
- By Don Gilbert on 09-26-13
-
Election
- By: Tom Perrotta
- Narrated by: Santino Fontana, Midori Francis, Dioni Michelle Collins, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tracy Flick wants to be President of Winwood High. She’s one of those ambitious girls who finds time to do it all: edit the yearbook, star in the musical, sleep with her English teacher. But another teacher, staunch idealist Jim McAllister, a.k.a. “Mr. M.,” thinks the students deserve better. So he persuades Paul Warren—a well-liked, good-hearted jock—to throw in his hat. But that puts Paul’s sister Tammy in a snit. So she runs too, on an apathy platform, before starting a real campaign...to get herself kicked out of school.
-
-
Excellent—highly recommend
- By Rene M. on 06-27-23
By: Tom Perrotta
-
The Archemi Online Chronicles Boxset: Books 1, 2 & 3
- A LitRPG Epic Fantasy Series (The Archemi Online Chronicles)
- By: James Osiris Baldwin
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Jeff Hays, Laurie Catherine Winkel, and others
- Length: 45 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother offers him something even better: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
-
-
fun narration & characters buuut...
- By ERIC ESTES on 01-29-24
Critic reviews
"Wickedly entertaining....A sure-fire, acid-tongued winner." (Publishers Weekly)
"[A] laugh-out-loud nasty tale of international intrigue." (Kirkus Reviews)
There are moments where the buddy relationship with his butler/bodyguard really makes me think ok this is where the story becomes the buddy cop story I’ve been waiting for but it’s not that. And the ending just left me empty.
But that narration - marvelous! The different style of voices was just amazing.
I think I read the description wrong and was hoping for a different kind of story maybe - so take my comments with a grain of salt.
I loved the narration more that the story
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
PG Wodehouse mixed with 1960s James Bond
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I was mistaken. upon first attempt, I got... maybe three chapters in, and decided I hated the British dialect.
and this book has been sitting in my DNF pile since.
I'm taking a break from sword and sorcery with this British caper book. good idea ole chap! cleanse the pallet, then start again, a fresh.
like the film, this novel is garbage. the main character is a grab bag of shitty attributes, the only decent character dies, and there's no bloody ending.
I know there are two more novels featuring C. Mordecai, and you couldn't pay me the price of that Goya painting to start either of them.
I tried.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
One of the few writers who compares to Wodehouse.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
This is good, snarky, fun. I wouldn't want to buy art from Charlie, but I think I'd love to have a few drinks with him, and Jock. They are wonderful characters in a romp of a tale.
snarky fun
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Interesting but not pleasurable
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
A charming scoundrel
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Jack
Dashed Amusing, Dontcha Know
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Pulp Fiction Pleasure
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
One of my favorite!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.