Drunk with Blood
God's Killings in the Bible
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Narrated by:
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Brendan Littlefield
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By:
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Steve Wells
About this listen
Completely Revised Second Edition with 23 new killings from the Apocrypha.
Drunk With Blood includes a separate account for each of God's 158 killings. These stories fill the pages of the Bible, yet they are seldom read in church and are ignored by most Bible believers, which is a shame because God is so proud of his killings:
"I kill...I wound...I will make mine arrows drunk with blood and my sword shall devour flesh." Deuteronomy 32:39-42
You've probably heard of a few of God's killings. Noah's Flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, David and Goliath, maybe. But there are over 150 others that are unknown to pretty much everyone, believer and nonbeliever alike.
Did you know, for example, that God:
- Forced friends and family to kill each other for dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf?
- Burned Aaron's sons to death for offering him strange fire?
- Burned complainers to death, forced the survivors to eat quail until it literally came out their noses, sent "fiery serpents" to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water, and killed 14,700 for complaining about his killings?
- Buried alive those that opposed Moses (along with their families)?
- Burned 250 men to death for burning incense?
- Rewarded Phinehas for throwing a spear though the bellies of an inter-tribal couple while they were having sex?
- Ordered, assisted in, or approved of dozens of complete genocides?
- Accepted human sacrifice in the cases of Jephthah's daughter and Saul's seven sons?
- Helped Samson murder 30 men for their clothes, slaughter 1,000 with the jawbone of an ass, and kill 3,000 civilians in a suicide terrorist attack?
- Smote the Philistines of several cities with hemorrhoids in their secret parts?
- Killed a man for trying to keep the ark of the covenant from falling and 50,070 for looking into the ark?
- Approved when David bought his first wife with 200 Philistine foreskins?
- Killed King Saul for not killing every Amalekite as he told him to do?
- Slowly killed a baby to punish King David for committing adultery?
- Killed 70,000 because David had a census that he (or Satan) told him to do?
- Sent a lion to kill a prophet for believing another prophet's lie, another lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet, and some more lions to kill people that didn't fear him enough?
- Killed 450 religious leaders who lost a prayer contest with Elijah and burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill?
- Sent two bears to rip apart 42 boys for making fun of Elisha's bald head?
- Killed 27,000 Syrians by having a wall fall on them, sent an angel to kill 185,000 sleeping soldiers, interfered in human battles to kill a half million Israelites and a million Ethiopian soldiers?
- Killed King Ahab for not killing a captured king, and then sent King Jehu on a series of mass murders to kill all of Ahab's family and friends who had ever "pissed against a wall?"
- Killed Jehoram by making his bowels fall out?
- Killed Job's ten children in a bet with Satan?
- Killed Ezekiel's wife and told him not to mourn her?
- Killed Ananias and Sapphira for not giving Peter all their money?
- Killed King Herod by feeding him to worms?
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- Written for His Children During the Years 1846 to 1849
- By: Charles Dickens
- Narrated by: David Aikman
- Length: 1 hr and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Charles Dickens wrote The Life of Our Lord around the same time he was finishing up David Copperfield, but to listeners raised on a diet of Dickensian wit and indignation, his rendering of Jesus' life may come as something of a surprise. You won't find even the shadow of a Micawber or a Mrs. Gamp anywhere in this brief volume; no Pecksniffs, Podsnaps, or Mulberries, either.
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Definitely Dickens version of the gospel
- By Byron on 11-27-13
By: Charles Dickens
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The Jefferson Bible
- By: Thomas Jefferson
- Narrated by: Mel Foster
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In the early 19th century, Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence, conceived the idea of extracting a gospel purified of what he saw as extraneous philosophical, mythological, and theological elements. To do so, he took verses from the four canonical gospels and arranged them into a single narrative, focusing on the actual words of Jesus.
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Thomas Jefferson's religious beliefs
- By Wayne on 12-07-15
By: Thomas Jefferson
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The Pilgrim's Progress (AmazonClassics Edition)
- By: John Bunyan
- Narrated by: Steve West
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Plagued by spiritual anguish, devout everyman Christian fears his fate in the sinful City of Destruction. He’s told that only by embarking for the Celestial City can he achieve personal salvation. After his wife and children refuse to join him, he sets forth alone into the unknown. Mocked for his faith, tempted at every turn, and heartened by fellow pilgrims, Christian’s winding journey toward grace unfolds. But as he reaches Mount Zion, his family chooses to follow the same treacherous path, hoping to join Christian in the shining light.
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Best version I have heard
- By Julie Rae Loving on 11-09-19
By: John Bunyan
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The Histories
- The Persian Wars
- By: Herodotus, A. D. Godley Translator
- Narrated by: Charlton Griffin
- Length: 27 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Herodotus was a Greek historian born in Halicarnassus, subject at the time of the great Persian Empire. He lived in the fifth century BC (c. 484 - c. 425 BC), a contemporary of Socrates. He is often referred to as "The Father of History", a title originally conferred by Cicero. Herodotus was the first historian known to have broken from Homeric tradition in order to treat historical subjects as a method of investigation, specifically by collecting his materials in a critical, systematic fashion and then arranging them into a chronological narrative.
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Popular for a reason
- By Reader on 11-17-18
By: Herodotus, and others
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Egyptian Mythology
- Captivating Egyptian Myths of Egyptian Gods, Goddesses, and Legendary Creatures
- By: Matt Clayton
- Narrated by: Randy Whitlow
- Length: 4 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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It can be challenging to find a comprehensive and engaging collection of Egyptian myths considering the number of versions and translations available. However, look no further, as you have found a captivating audiobook that includes many of the most popular Egyptian myths in an easy-to-listen-to format.
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Hillbilly voice butchers a magical classic story
- By Flareazn123 on 03-13-20
By: Matt Clayton
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Pilgrim's Progress
- Updated, Modern English
- By: John Bunyan
- Narrated by: Mark Christensen
- Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Often disguised as something that would help him, evil accompanies Christian on his journey to the Celestial City. As you walk with him, you'll begin to identify today's many religious pitfalls. These are presented by men such as Pliable, who turns back at the Slough of Despond; and Ignorance, who believes he's a true follower of Christ when he's really only trusting in himself.
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Annoying
- By Valid Customer on 01-04-17
By: John Bunyan
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The Book of Revelation: A Study of the Last Prophetic Book of Holy Scripture
- By: Clarence Larkin
- Narrated by: Matthew Coles
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Clarence Larkin (1850-1924) was a pastor in Pennsylvania before he wrote books like The Spirit World and Dispensational Truth. Larkin explains and interprets every statement in the Book of Revelation with reference to earlier books of the Bible. He often refers to the Book of Daniel for the key to the meaning in Revelation.
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THE BARE TRUTH
- By Ken Phillips on 03-18-20
By: Clarence Larkin
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Apocrypha Now
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
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A Goldmine of Weirdness
- By Susie on 05-31-16
By: Mark Russell, and others
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The Kebra Nagast
- The Lost Bible of Rastafarian Wisdom and Faith
- By: Ziggy Marley - introduction, Gerald Hausman - editor
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 3 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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A sacred text to Ethiopian Christians and Jamaican Rastafarians, The Kebra Nagast tells of the relationship between King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba and their son, Menyelik, who hid the Ark of the Covenant in Ethiopia. This edition of the Ethiopian text is edited by Gerald Hausman, with an introduction by Ziggy Marley.
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great
- By Rebecca Oliver on 03-20-21
By: Ziggy Marley - introduction, and others
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Mythology: Captivating Greek, Egyptian, Norse, Celtic and Roman Myths of Gods, Goddesses, Heroes, and Monsters
- By: Matt Clayton
- Narrated by: Randy Whitlow, Dryw McArthur
- Length: 19 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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This audiobook collection includes five captivating books, a huge collection of the best myths and stories of gods, goddesses, monsters, and mortals.
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Not what I expected
- By Wayne Willmore on 12-11-18
By: Matt Clayton
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God Is Disappointed in You
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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God Is Disappointed in You is for people who would like to read the Bible...if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and interminable passages, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers.
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IT'S BETTER TO BE A LIVING DOG, THAN A DEAD LION
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-18-17
By: Mark Russell, and others
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The Histories
- By: Herodotus
- Narrated by: Bernard Mayes
- Length: 27 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Herodotus is not only the father of the art and the science of historical writing, but also one of the Western tradition's most compelling storytellers. In tales such as that of Gyges, who murders Candaules, the king of Lydia, and usurps his throne and his marriage bed, thereby bringing on, generations later, war with the Persians, Herodotus laid bare the intricate human entanglements at the core of great historical events.
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Pater historiae: Latin, b/c who gets Greek jokes?
- By Darwin8u on 05-21-12
By: Herodotus
What listeners say about Drunk with Blood
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Matt
- 07-12-21
You have to hear this
Wow! This is so enlightening and a great way to refute the Bible and it’s conservative thinking.
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- TeaWithSu
- 10-31-21
Excellent book
"... but there's one story in first Samuel that everyone should know, the malachite massacre."
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- Rohan L. Ebanks
- 01-25-15
A must read
Very revealing. A Christian can't read this book cover to cover and NOT question his or her faith. Good read.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Manuel A Ortiz
- 04-01-15
Great material
Weather you are curious about the subject, a comic looking for material r a serious researcher, you will love this book. Well researched and fun all around.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Jake
- 10-29-17
The best Bible narration ever recorded.
Listen to this audiobook or be slain by the Lamb of God. Choose wisely, thus saith the Lord of Hosts. Amen.
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- Harry Brindley
- 03-20-14
More die at the hand of God than by Satan
What did you love best about Drunk with Blood?
Steve Wells' "Drunk with Blood - God's Killings in the Bible" is a less than positive take on the Bible, not for the feint of heart faithful. When last did you read your Bible with an open mind? The capricious violence is staggering (not to mention the slavery, misogyny debauchery and homophobia) . Whereas the number of people God kills adds into the millions, Satan comes in with a pitiful score, barely breaking into two digits.
Along the way you learn that all the attributable evil spirits in the Bible are released by God, none bySatan. Really? They didn't teach me that at Sunday School.
The audio book is well narrated but I suspect I'll also want a digital copy that I can thumb through and to copy-paste from.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Patricia
- 04-24-15
No Blood for Me, Thanks
I enjoyed the way our author gave a good (tongue in cheek) rendition of Bible verses before reading out loud the actual verses.
It did get a bit long winded, but it was worth it. I wish Christians spent more time researching what it is they truly believe and why. This book could be a great start.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Tammy
- 09-04-16
excellent book a look in to the bible it was great
I love the way it was presented and the in depth nature was really amazing.
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- Emad Khader
- 08-25-15
Should be compulsary reading
Would you listen to Drunk with Blood again? Why?
I wouldn't have missed this book and would not read it again. It made its point so convincingly, there is no reason to read it again.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Drunk with Blood?
No memorable moment as such. The whole book is simply compelling.
Have you listened to any of Brendan Littlefield’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
First Brendan performance I have listened to. Very well done.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
No specific moment as such. Just being continuously amazed and appalled at the same time .
Any additional comments?
After a while, the book gets repetitive. It cannot be faulted for this as it is supposed to a listing of all the killings as described in the original text. It is simply there is too much killing and for the same reasons. "Do not shoot the messenger".
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2 people found this helpful
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- Randall Tong
- 02-23-16
An awesome compendium of biblical blood
2.8 million to 10 ..
wow Jehovah is a genocidal maniac compared to Satan. No contest game over
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