Dysfunctional
The 1st Trilogy of Matilda Schmidt, Paranormal Psychologist
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Dysfunctional
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Narrated by:
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Hollie Jackson
About this listen
Meet Matilda Schmidt, paranormal psychologist....
Unlovable
When Cupid gets stupid...
It isn't every day a sexy demigod throws a pissed-off Cupid onto psychologist Matilda Schmidt's couch and informs her the fate of the world depends on her ability to get him off his diapered ass and back to helping people fall in love. But first she'll need to convince a seductive hit man he's snatched the wrong woman before he convinces her he might be the right man - for a night.
Unlucky
When luck runs out...
Accused of stealing gold from an infamous Irish street gang, paranormal psychologist Matilda Schmidt will die in exactly five days if she doesn't cough it up - guilty or not. With minutes ticking away and her office overrun by a leprechaun who's loopier than he is lucky, Matilda makes a deal with a demigod: Give him one night in her bed, and he'll help her locate the missing gold.
Unhoppy
When there's not a hop in hell...
The day is going to hell in a hurry for paranormal psychologist Matilda Schmidt, and that's before a suicidal Easter bunny shows up for treatment. Hunted by two jealous goddesses who would gladly use her intestines to lace up their strappy sandals - and with her full-time hit man/sometimes lover nowhere to be found - Matilda will have to save herself, or the world will be up River Styx without a paddle.
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Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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George Orwell’s 1984
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By: George Orwell, and others
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10,436
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,277
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,271
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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The Martian
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37,670
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33,525
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33,421
Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 94,513
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86,520
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Story4 out of 5 stars 86,318
Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,037
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,987
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,988
In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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It was ok.
- By Cregg Terasa on 08-06-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
What listeners say about Dysfunctional
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- JM
- 05-06-16
First Trilogy of MS Para ormal Psychologist
Firstly, I love comedic plots and interesting characters. These stories were rich with fully developed and ever evolving characters.
Secondly, I usually gloss over any and all sex scenes as superfluous junk in an otherwise good story; however, I have to say that these physical renderings were just as colorful and well thought out as the rest of the narrative. I DID enjoy this walk on the paranormal side.
Narration by Hollie was superb. She kept me wanting more.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carina
- 04-21-16
HAILARIOUS!
Would you consider the audio edition of Dysfunctional to be better than the print version?
Cynthia St. Aubin and Hollie Jackson are congenial. A perfect match!
What did you like best about this story?
Cynthia St. Aubin writes a fantastic comedy. The situations and characters she creates are just over the top and will make your belly ache, your cheeks hurt from laughter and will let you break out in giggles even after finishing the story.... Oh, and it gets hot, too!
What about Hollie Jackson’s performance did you like?
There are several passages that were funny in the book but make you cry out with laughter when Hollie Jackson reads it alloud and you have to rewind a few times to listen to it. ("Tot-shot!!!!!")
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The emancipation of a new kind.
Any additional comments?
I'm not sure if you should listen to this while driving or performing brain surgery or any kind of work that asks for 100% focus. Chances are that you'll laugh so hard you'll double over and can't stop guffawing. I'm not sure that any kind of insurance would include "damages by listening to Cynthia St. Aubin"
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Virginia
- 12-17-16
Loved it!
This is a fun book. It kept a smile on my face to the end. I even laughed out loud. Sexy too.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- erobbins33
- 04-21-16
Hilarious!
This is one of those series that is light, funny, romantic, funny, quirky, funny, sexy, and oh, did I mention funny? When invectives like "I'm gonna sit on that face like a padded toilet seat after a hemorrhoid-ectomy" spew forth from the mouths of old ladies, you know I'm going to be on the front lines! I've already bought and started the next book! I really, really needed this! Loved it! Hollie Jackson was the perfect choice for a narrator, with her versatile voice.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jennifer Torres
- 07-13-16
Excellent Read.
I found it a good book to leave the trials of everyday life behind. I love Matilda; she's a hoot.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ellington
- 07-27-16
You will HAVE to get the next book in the series
If you could sum up Dysfunctional in three words, what would they be?
Funny Interesting Sexy
Who was your favorite character and why?
Matilda - I like the way she analyzes people when she finds herself in a corner.
Which scene was your favorite?
There are too many to pick just one. At the end when the elderly ladies were in a sexual frenzy, Yes now you have to get this so you can find out what I am talking about. You will be laughing too hard at this, I promise you.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Laughter is the main reaction.
Any additional comments?
I am getting the rest of the books. I have to finish.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- BikeVON
- 06-02-16
Love it!
Loved it. It is funny, captivating, and entertaining. Not a serious plot or extensive character development but it is not meant to be. At least I hope not. Matilda Schmidt is an extremely intelligent psychologist. She can diagnose someone on a dime and is able to adjust to any type of patient situation.
Watching her adapt to her new paranormal clients is hysterical. This story happens over a few days with Matilda working with several paranormal clients. I will not spoil the book. The reviews are pretty much on point. The reason this did not receive my normal 3 stars for this type of book is, it ends in a cliff hanger. I enjoyed the series. Most series at least have a definite ending. This is just a cliff hanger. I don’t like that.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Tiffini
- 12-17-16
Hated It.
This book was terrible. I don't say that often, because normally books like art are subjective, personal taste, a different Listening (reading) experience for everyone, but this book, or should I say 3 books, was bad. not good. It wasn't the narrator, Hollie Jackson was fine, it was Matilda, for a person so smart, she was so stupid.
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