Has Anyone Seen My Toes?
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Narrated by:
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Gibson Frazier
About this listen
From the bestselling author of Thank You for Smoking and Make Russia Great Again comes a comic tour de force, the story of one man’s “lively and funny” (New York Journal of Books) journey through lockdown during the Covid-19 pandemic.
During the pandemic, an aging screenwriter is holed up in a coastal South Carolina town with his beloved second wife, Peaches. He’s been binge-eating for a year and developed a notable rapport with the local fast-food chain Hippo King. He struggles to work—on a ludicrous screenplay about a Nazi attempt to kidnap FDR and, naturally, an article for Etymology Today on English words of Carthaginian origin. He’s told Peaches so often about the origins of the word mayonnaise that she’s developed an aversion to using the condiment. He thinks he has Covid. His wife thinks he is losing his mind. In short, your typical pandemic worries. Things were going from bad to worse even before his doctor suggested a battery of brain tests. He knows what that means: dementia!
But even in these scary times, there are plenty of things to do to distract him. His iPhone is fat-shaming him. He’s. been trying to read Proust and thinks the French novelist missed his true calling as a parfumier. And he’s discovered nefarious Russian influence on the local coroner’s face. Why is Putin so keen to control who decides who died peacefully and who by foul play in Pimento County. Could it be the local military base?
Has Anyone Seen My Toes? is a “laugh-out-loud” (Publishers Weekly) romp through a time that has been anything but funny.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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Thank You for Your Service
- By: David Finkel
- Narrated by: Arthur Bishop
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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No journalist has reckoned with the psychology of war as intimately as David Finkel. In The Good Soldiers, his bestselling account from the front lines of Baghdad, Finkel shadowed the men of the 2-16 Infantry Battalion as they carried out the infamous surge, a grueling fifteen-month tour that changed all of them forever. Now Finkel has followed many of those same men as they’ve returned home and struggled to reintegrate - both into their family lives and into American society at large.
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Wrenching
- By Scott on 01-03-14
By: David Finkel
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Just Add Water
- Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1
- By: Jinx Schwartz
- Narrated by: Beth Richmond
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with attitude who is working on coming of age, a little late. Pushing forty and still single, Hetta is the epitome of the "B" word: bold, bossy, brassy, breezy, and brash. After leaving a lifelong swath of failed multinational affairs in her jet stream, it is no wonder Hetta prefers living with her dog, R.J. But old habits die hard, and trolling for triceps is Hetta's hobby....
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Mixed bag. The dog dies.
- By Elisabeth Carey on 09-02-18
By: Jinx Schwartz
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Welcome to the Monkey House
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: David Strathairn, Maria Tucci, Bill Irwin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to the Monkey House is a collection of Kurt Vonnegut's shorter works. Originally printed in publications as diverse as The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and The Atlantic Monthly, what these superb stories share is Vonnegut's audacious sense of humor and extraordinary range of creative vision.
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Classic Vonnegut
- By Michael Carrato on 08-17-06
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Big Over Easy
- A Nursery Crime
- By: Jasper Fforde
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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It's Easter in Reading, a bad time for eggs, and no one can remember the last sunny day. Ovoid D-class nursery celebrity Humpty Stuyvesant Van Dumpty III, minor baronet, ex-convict, and former millionaire philanthropist, is found shattered to death beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. All the evidence points to his ex-wife, who has conveniently shot herself.
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Total Whimsy
- By Bruce Sabin on 08-10-05
By: Jasper Fforde
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Lilian Jackson Braun 2-in-1 Edition, Volume 3
- The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal and The Cat Who Moved a Mountain
- By: Lilian Jackson Braun
- Narrated by: Theodore Bikel
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Abridged
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Phoenix Books brings together two of Braun's best mysteries in the series, featuring: The Cat Who Knew a Cardinal: When the director of the Pickax Theatre Club's Shakespeare production is found dead in Qwilleran's apple orchard, Qwilleran and his Siamese sleuths must discover which player staged the murder. The Cat Who Moved a Mountain: On vacation in the Big Potato Mountains, Qwilleran stumbles into a mystery involving the murder of J. J. Hawkinfield, the developer who was pushed off a mountain years before after announcing his plans to develop the region.
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Not the full books
- By Lisa Cissna on 07-15-20
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The Night Ocean
- By: Paul La Farge
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 13 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Marina Willett, MD, has a problem. Her husband, Charlie, has become obsessed with H. P. Lovecraft, in particular with one episode in the legendary horror writer's life: In the summer of 1934, the "old gent" lived for two months with a gay teenage fan named Robert Barlow, at Barlow's family home in central Florida. What were the two of them up to? Were they friends - or something more? Just when Charlie thinks he's solved the puzzle, a new scandal erupts, and he disappears.
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Frustratingly Uneven Due to Clumsy Plot Structure
- By Adam on 06-15-17
By: Paul La Farge
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Divorcing Jack
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Adam Moore
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Dan Starkey is a young journalist in Belfast, who shares with his wife, Patricia, a prodigious appetite for drinking and dancing. Then Dan meets a beautiful and apparently impoverished student. And then, terrifyingly, she is murdered. Is it because she was not exactly who she claimed to be? Is it the IRA? A Protestant extremist group? A jealous lover? Before long, Dan is a target himself.…
By: Colin Bateman
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For Whom The Minivan Rolls
- Aaron Tucker Mystery, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey Cohen
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Aaron Tucker isn't a detective. So he's baffled when the richest guy in his New Jersey town insists that Aaron, and Aaron alone, investigate the disappearance of his wife, who has inexplicably vanished from their home in the middle of the night. Funny, down-to-earth, lovable, and resourceful, Aaron Tucker, family man and freelance writer, reluctantly says yes, and continuously wishes he hadn't.
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Funny, Great Narration, Weak Mystery
- By Karen K on 07-16-15
By: Jeffrey Cohen
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The Hummingbird
- A Novel
- By: Stephen P. Kiernan
- Narrated by: Elyse Mirto, John H. Mayer
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Deborah Birch is a seasoned hospice nurse whose daily work requires courage and compassion. But her skills and experience are tested in new and dramatic ways when her easygoing husband, Michael, returns from his third deployment to Iraq haunted by nightmares, anxiety, and rage. She is determined to help him heal and to restore the tender, loving marriage they once had.
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A MUST READ or LISTEN
- By Taryn on 01-23-16
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Gibson Frazier
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
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In “the Trump satire we’ve been waiting for” (The Washington Post), award-winning and best-selling author of Thank You for Smoking delivers a hilarious and whipsmart fake memoir by Herb Nutterman - Donald Trump’s seventh chief of staff - who has written the ultimate tell-all about Trump and Russia.
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It feels like any other white house memoir
- By Debra Gore on 07-15-20
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The Judge Hunter
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- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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London, 1664. Twenty years after the English revolution, the monarchy has been restored, and Charles II sits on the throne. The men who conspired to kill his father are either dead or disappeared. Baltasar “Balty” St. Michel is 24 and has no skills and no employment. He gets by on handouts from his brother-in-law Samuel Pepys, an officer in the king’s navy. Fed up with his needy relative, Pepys offers Balty a job in the New World. He is to track down two missing judges who were responsible for the execution of the last king, Charles I.
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Surprise!
- By mary j miller on 06-12-18
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The Relic Master
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The year is 1517. Dismas is a relic hunter: one who procures "authentic" religious relics for wealthy and influential clients. His two most important patrons are Frederick the Wise, elector of Saxony; and soon-to-be Cardinal Albrecht of Mainz. While Frederick is drawn to the recent writing of Martin Luther, Albrecht pursues the financial and political benefits of religion and seeks to buy a cardinalship through the selling of indulgences.
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Fantastic -- and hilarious
- By Actor on 12-17-15
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Little Green Men
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Mark Linn-Baker
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1994, Christopher Buckley published one of the most acclaimed and successful comic novels of the decade, Thank You for Smoking. Now, Buckley returns to the strange land of Washington, DC, in Little Green Men, a millennial comedy of manners about aliens and pundits...and how much they have in common. The reluctant hero of this hilarious novel is John Oliver Banion, a stuffy Washington talk-show host, whose privileged life is thrown into upheaval when aliens abduct him from his exclusive country-club golf course.
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Laughing Gas
- By A. L. DeWitt on 01-13-03
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Thank You for Smoking
- A novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: John Glover
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nobody blows smoke like Nick Naylor. He’s a spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies - in other words, a flack for cigarette companies, paid to promote their product on talk and news shows. The problem? He’s so good at his job, so effortlessly unethical, that he’s become a target for both anti-tobacco terrorists and for the FBI. In a country where half the people want to outlaw pleasure and the other want to sell you a disease, what will become of Nick Naylor?
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Verbal Judo
- By A. L. DeWitt on 01-13-03
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Supreme Courtship
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Anne Heche
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
President of the United States Donald Vanderdamp is having a hell of a time getting his nominees appointed to the Supreme Court. After one nominee is rejected for insufficiently appreciating To Kill A Mockingbird, the president chooses someone so beloved by voters that the Senate won't have the guts to reject her.
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Easily the funniest book on Audible.
- By Chip Atkinson on 05-02-16
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Make Russia Great Again
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Gibson Frazier
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In “the Trump satire we’ve been waiting for” (The Washington Post), award-winning and best-selling author of Thank You for Smoking delivers a hilarious and whipsmart fake memoir by Herb Nutterman - Donald Trump’s seventh chief of staff - who has written the ultimate tell-all about Trump and Russia.
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-
It feels like any other white house memoir
- By Debra Gore on 07-15-20
-
The Judge Hunter
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
London, 1664. Twenty years after the English revolution, the monarchy has been restored, and Charles II sits on the throne. The men who conspired to kill his father are either dead or disappeared. Baltasar “Balty” St. Michel is 24 and has no skills and no employment. He gets by on handouts from his brother-in-law Samuel Pepys, an officer in the king’s navy. Fed up with his needy relative, Pepys offers Balty a job in the New World. He is to track down two missing judges who were responsible for the execution of the last king, Charles I.
-
-
Surprise!
- By mary j miller on 06-12-18
-
The Relic Master
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The year is 1517. Dismas is a relic hunter: one who procures "authentic" religious relics for wealthy and influential clients. His two most important patrons are Frederick the Wise, elector of Saxony; and soon-to-be Cardinal Albrecht of Mainz. While Frederick is drawn to the recent writing of Martin Luther, Albrecht pursues the financial and political benefits of religion and seeks to buy a cardinalship through the selling of indulgences.
-
-
Fantastic -- and hilarious
- By Actor on 12-17-15
-
Little Green Men
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Mark Linn-Baker
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1994, Christopher Buckley published one of the most acclaimed and successful comic novels of the decade, Thank You for Smoking. Now, Buckley returns to the strange land of Washington, DC, in Little Green Men, a millennial comedy of manners about aliens and pundits...and how much they have in common. The reluctant hero of this hilarious novel is John Oliver Banion, a stuffy Washington talk-show host, whose privileged life is thrown into upheaval when aliens abduct him from his exclusive country-club golf course.
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-
Laughing Gas
- By A. L. DeWitt on 01-13-03
-
Thank You for Smoking
- A novel
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: John Glover
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nobody blows smoke like Nick Naylor. He’s a spokesman for the Academy of Tobacco Studies - in other words, a flack for cigarette companies, paid to promote their product on talk and news shows. The problem? He’s so good at his job, so effortlessly unethical, that he’s become a target for both anti-tobacco terrorists and for the FBI. In a country where half the people want to outlaw pleasure and the other want to sell you a disease, what will become of Nick Naylor?
-
-
Verbal Judo
- By A. L. DeWitt on 01-13-03
-
Supreme Courtship
- By: Christopher Buckley
- Narrated by: Anne Heche
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
President of the United States Donald Vanderdamp is having a hell of a time getting his nominees appointed to the Supreme Court. After one nominee is rejected for insufficiently appreciating To Kill A Mockingbird, the president chooses someone so beloved by voters that the Senate won't have the guts to reject her.
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Easily the funniest book on Audible.
- By Chip Atkinson on 05-02-16
What listeners say about Has Anyone Seen My Toes?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Scott
- 09-09-22
Pleasant, light, and safely in the Buckley oeuvre
A good way to pass a flight to/from Europe. Maybe 6 times will the other passengers look at you as you laugh out loud. All in good fun. A half-buried meditation on the pandemic we all just went through, full of absurdities (that seemed slightly less absurd at the time?). Worth the listen.
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- Iuliia Kulyk
- 08-18-23
Witty, witty, witty, witty,witty
Great book, make sure do not reed it in public. Others might consider you have a pseudobulbar affect.
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- Anthony Zazzaro
- 09-17-22
Funny and informative
Christopher Buckley's dad would be very proud of him. This book was funny and packed with words I have never come across and history I have never studied. Don't miss this read
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- gege
- 04-24-24
topical Buckley!
I loved the character in this very funny novel. I think everyone can relate to covid crazy.
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- Lawrence A.
- 09-22-22
Not his best work
Really a fan, but not of this work… if Hiemlick’sManuver was shit, then it was a step above this book…
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- Richard
- 12-03-22
Disappointing
I love Christopher Buckley’s books, but this was terrible. Also, Gibson Frazier’s voice and timing made the jokes fall flat. Very disappointing.
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